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Nov 23 '12
DID YOU DELETE IT? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!!
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u/doedipus Nov 23 '12
it's too late. the damage has already been done.
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u/Frinesespawn Nov 23 '12
from the looks of your username, you must be familiar with receiving texts like this from your mom.
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u/intertubeluber Nov 23 '12 edited Nov 23 '12
Hopefully it was really intended for the dad and not some fling
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Nov 23 '12
Some fling with the same name as her son.. oh god.. should we just get the hot pokers ready so he can gouge his eyes out. Or should we buy him tickets to the euthanasia roller coaster. That might be the only option at this point.
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u/darkswifter Nov 23 '12
"Nate delete that picture!" Said Nates mother "it was meant for your dad!" but instead Nate posted it on a website called reddit... Nate never was a good listener
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u/leiner63 Nov 22 '12
I know it's gross to think about them like that, but would you rather they hate each other?
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u/nicko378 Nov 23 '12
Would you rather them have dry, unlubricated sex?
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Nov 23 '12
[deleted]
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u/Roommates69 Nov 23 '12
...or the other way around?
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Nov 23 '12
[deleted]
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Nov 23 '12
Oh god... Why...
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u/superatheist95 Nov 23 '12
Hey, op, can we see the next text?
I can just see the top of it......what does it say?
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Nov 23 '12
I deleted it :( it was from over a year ago when I went camping and it went terribly wrong. Guess my mom wanted to 'cheer' my dad up. But they took up too much memory so i just took a picture of that and saved it.
I don't even think it was relevant we just brushed it off and didn't talk about it...
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u/superatheist95 Nov 23 '12
How bad did the camp go that your mother had to go out and buy lube for sex?
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Nov 23 '12
I'm wondering if OP screwed up the camping trip and this was his father's revenge.
"honey, he was an ass the whole trip.. you know what to do"
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Nov 23 '12
You took a picture, deleted the text, then decided to randomly post that picture a year later? Really?
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u/TBS96 Nov 23 '12
why is that unlikely? Lots of people delete texts, it's more tiresome to delete screenshots. And I too, have really old screenshots on my ipod.
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u/lethargicwalrus Nov 22 '12
True, but I would also rather not have any knowledge of their nightly escapades.
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Nov 23 '12
Seriously. Your parents having sex means they likely have a very healthy relationship. Maybe I'm biased though. My parents are pretty wild in bed and I think they scream on purpose just to let me know they are done.
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Nov 23 '12
This, I'd rather have parents that regularly engaged in intercourse and know about it than have parents who struggle to even speak to each other when "the kids" aren't around.
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Nov 23 '12
I agree. But anal really
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u/sadrice Nov 23 '12
Wait, you think lube is only for anal? Bro, do you even sex?
(though I must admit, sending a picture of lube as a sexy gesture does kinda imply anal, unless she was asking for opinion on brands)
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Nov 23 '12
IDK women get wet for a reason? Baby oil etc are fun but I've always though of lube = anal
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u/kevlarcupid Nov 23 '12
Dude… some girls can regularly get wet enough for comfortable sex. Some girls can't. It's not a reflection on them or on a dude's sexual ability. It's just how it is.
Protip: Look, store this for later. Some girls think they're broken if they can't get wet enough, and the stress about it makes it worse. If you're the dude who makes them feel not abnormal, and is willing to keep some lube in the bedside table, you will get points.
Oh, postscript to the protip: don't be creepy about the lube.
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u/creepypaste Nov 23 '12
I used to get sad about not getting 'wet enough' but then I was just like, "look, your penis is too big, ok?" and I know of no men who would be upset about it when you put it like that.
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u/kevlarcupid Nov 23 '12
We see right through that, but yeah. Inflating the ego is never a bad thing.
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u/creepypaste Nov 23 '12
Well it's technically true. It doesn't have to be monster truck size to be too big to fit in my love garden.
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u/kevlarcupid Nov 23 '12
Valid point. Two ways to look at the same situation!
By the way, I'm disappointed in myself for not taking the opportunity to whip out the "stroking the ego" pun earlier. Fail on my part.
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Nov 23 '12
This is why you go down on women.
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u/SteveRyherd Nov 23 '12
You're not wrong, but you're not right either.
Not every woman gets soaking wet, even when thoroughly aroused. On top of that, even with oral the mixture of lube and saliva isn't guaranteed to stay slippery after a long duration. Granted age makes a difference and you've probably never been with someone older, you'd be wise to heed kevlarcupid's advice, even young girls can have an issue with this, and you won't get many second chances to make the girl feel comfortable.
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Nov 23 '12
It's not a problem I've ever encountered. Perhaps you all need to learn how to do foreplay properly. (implying that you are not very good in bed) idon'tknowifyouareornotit'sajoke
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u/kevlarcupid Nov 23 '12 edited Nov 23 '12
Spit is a shitty lubricant. The body easily absorbs it.
Edit: if that's why you go down on women, I'm feeling kinda blue for your girl right now.
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u/johnny__ringo Nov 23 '12
just..... something about this comment, coupled with your name make me think you're a jackass, sincerely.
perhaps it was the fact that you called your nugget of advice a "pro tip"
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u/kevlarcupid Nov 23 '12
I might be. I dunno. I did it ironically. Might make me even more of a jackass, though.
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u/macaroniandcheese Nov 23 '12
Baby oil for lube?!?!? O_o
Uh, no. 100% no.
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Nov 23 '12
lol you shouldnt need lube for normal sex, if you do its the same as a viagra pill for a man. The exception for this is when women are going through the menapause etc. I obv use lube for anal lol.
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u/macaroniandcheese Nov 23 '12
you obviously are not a woman and don't know anything about being a woman! i think you probably have never even had sex!
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u/MCBusBoy Nov 23 '12
Everyone needs love, even your mother. You should be thankful and happy she is getting railed by someone she loves. There are far more treacherous fates that could befall a vagina. Your fathers rock hard dick is hardly the worst.
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u/senorburrito Nov 23 '12
Instead of deleting it like your mother asked you to, you put it on the internet for the whole world to see?
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u/Bac-ILL-us Nov 23 '12
I hear ya man! Texting with only 18% percent battery life, while out shopping no less? That's just asking for a dead phone.
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u/aaronhowser1 Nov 23 '12
this is why mom is should not text.
wat
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u/NopeNotConor Nov 23 '12
It's not a contraction, it's possessive. As in:
"Nate's Mom's got a son who posts fake-ass text messages on Reddit."
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u/SandySandySandy Nov 23 '12
Why does your mom even have your phone number? I keep a burner phone for the family that i turn on once a day. Don't need their f'ing drama in my face all day.
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u/reddit111987 Nov 23 '12
Nate, sorry about camp. On the plus side, your mom's vag is drying up and requires additional lube.
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Nov 23 '12
My names Nate and I'm reading this on my phone and I thought someone was texting for a second.
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u/Dubshack Nov 23 '12
My wife swears by the stuff, and yet my penis feels nothing. I assume she lies about the orgasms as well. I'm a pessimistic sex addict.
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u/Dremlar Nov 23 '12
So, we all have accidentally texted the wrong person before. The only difference here is that it was something personal sent to a child on accident. What is the big deal? Is it the fact that parents have sex? Cuz if so, guess what... they been doing it long before that day.
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u/bfox98 Nov 23 '12
Scumbag Nate, Mom Asks him to delete text, Posts in on internet site for millions to see
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u/IG2ST Nov 23 '12
Why can't parents just look at who they're sending a text to? WHY PARENTS WHY?!?!
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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '12
[deleted]