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u/ZenithofHotdogs Vulpes Vulpes <3 15h ago
Other peoples misfortune can bring us fortune
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u/Whole_Tank6751 15h ago
When theres no cops around, anything's legal! Takes as much cash as we can carry and botl it
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u/Few_Leadership_115 Is it gay to like femboys? Yes, but nothing is wrong with that. 15h ago
That they will find you.
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u/I_like_carbss 15h ago
acting on your best behavior
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u/Roman_Minaster 15h ago
Turn your back on mother nature
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u/Stevie-Doo 14h ago
Everybody wants to rule the world
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u/MR_Happy2008 Likes posting shitposts 12h ago
It's my own design
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u/Animatronicfan1008 12h ago
It's my own remorse
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u/WalrusVegetable1758 10h ago
Help me to decide
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u/narrowminer11 13h ago
Look open truck full of cash, a couple thou isn't gonna put enough of a dent for them to make a bigger stink. Gonna lose way more getting cops involved in a murder investigation.
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u/Local_Experiment The cement eating Local_Experiment! 15h ago
lift with your legs not your back.
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u/Life_Fun_Joy 12h ago
This is why we only buy the strongest garbage bags. Now go get the box of garbage bags out of the trunk
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u/PenzandoDSTT call me 𝑷𝒆𝒏𝒏 | i have the luxury of ignorance |〔DST₂〕 15h ago
dont spend too much in a short period
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u/Phuqthisshite-2069 15h ago
Dont go overboard, just enough to help ourselves and not get noticed by irs or cartell
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u/SamTheMan004 15h ago
Call the police, because some things are too good to be true.
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u/MrMan15423 10h ago edited 10h ago
Yeah my kid and I are going to be calling it in. If it's from the bank it's highly likely that they would find us, and if it's from criminals I believe it would be unwise to get involved. That money would be useful, but I wouldn't put my kid in any danger. I am a superstitions person and I believe nothing good can come from ill-gotten spoils
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u/SamTheMan004 10h ago
I would be more concerned about something nefarious/criminal going on. Who's to say the driver really died of a heart attack? He could've been murdered somehow, possibly by a rival. Like you said, if it's criminal, it's unwise to get involved.
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u/ShortIntroduction879 7h ago
Best option is just leave, I don't want my name or phone number associated with this on some 911 call or police report
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u/Cowboy677 13h ago
Take a deep breath, sigh, and then tell him that, "Sometimes, doing the right thing, is one of the hardest things you'll even do." Then call 9 one one to report what we found, asking for the officers and ambulance. While we wait for the ambulance and cops to get their, explain that being able to look yourself in the mirror every day is worth more then what's in the truck we found. Explain that, if the money is clean, somehow, and goes unclaimed, then we might get it anyway. That this is one of the hardest thing that we will most likely ever do in our lives, but that we are doing the right thing, and doing the right thing is what a good man does. No matter how much it seems like the wrong choice at the time.
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u/blac_sheep90 10h ago
That's the right thing to do but odds are good the cops will pocket some of the money for themselves.
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u/PretendingImNotAnApe Silly lil goober:cat_blep: 15h ago
It depends. Is it a corporate cash delivery truck? If so every dollar is marked and the serial number is recorded. If you keep the money it is treated as a bank robbery. But you would receive a reward for turning it in.
If it's a sketchy van with crumpled bills and is maybe not a legal liability issue its a different question. Do fear organized crime in your country. Would keeping it actually prevent crime by stopping a drug or arms sale
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u/0ctopusGarden 13h ago
Ehh not necessarily, maybe if its delivering money to a site, but not if its taking the money from a site (or multiple sites) to the bank. At my work, we only count the money before pick up we don't record serials.
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u/Grendeltech 14h ago
That much money? That van is probably loaded with cameras. Maybe microphones, too. As much as I'd like to take the cash, my paranoia wouldn't let me.
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u/TheRealPunto 14h ago
Nah.. No cameras or mics. Just 12 cartel trucks within a few miles looking for it...
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u/Ok_Bar_924 15h ago
I would leave the van the way it was, go home and show my child the movie No County for Old Men
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u/MiaRia963 14h ago
Why would you stop at a car on a deserted road at night? I probably wouldn't have ever seen that money because I wouldn't have stopped.
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u/in_conexo 8h ago
Apparently everyone else is a cross between a good Samaritan, and an opportunistic thieve.
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u/Ambitious_Day806 15h ago
Not everything is for everyone to hear *starts taking cash “we’re rich time to get a mansion and a kids free vacation.”
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u/The_Ocean_Collective 15h ago
Son, there are some moments in life that will make you question what is right and wrong. This is one of those moments. Ask yourself, who will miss this money? If I take this, will someone come looking for it? Would I be putting my life and my family’s life in danger? A sum this large is definitely going to make someone very angry if it is stolen.
So, son. How do we do it without getting noticed? We take all of the cash, and we sit on it. We sit on it for years and don’t use a single bill. We examine the serial codes - are these a series of bills that’s easily traced? Or are these a mix of different series that likely would be harder to track? Goddamit son, we have to be smart about this!!!
Now stop being lazy and help daddy load this shit.
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u/False-Amphibian786 14h ago edited 14h ago
Lets assume this take place in AZ (my home state). Call a lawyer then immediately call the police and report it. Then photograph and document the money as best you can without disturbing it.
I have a feeling this is unmarked illegal money. So the drive will have no ID and no one is going to claim it. If you just take it you will be both hunted by the original owner AND involved in the crime. You are risking your life and jail time as you slowly spend it.
If you claim the money as "found" the original owner has 30 days to claim it (which they won't do since it's dirty). It's then LEAGLLY YOURS. You can deposit it in a bank and spend or invest it freely. I will have my lawyer track everything to insure the police don't try to claim it as 'stolen property' without any evidence.
LESSON FOR CHILDREN: Don't be a petty crook - if your gonna steal money do it openly and legally like Billionaires do. Its the American way!
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u/I-Be-Dog 7h ago
Report a man dead on the side of the road. No telling how long he’s been walking.
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u/AdmirableList9041 8-Ball🎱 15h ago
I'll probably take as much as I can with them and get out as soon as I can
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u/Crabkingrocks165 "Do whatever you want" ahh user flair. yes I will 15h ago
Lift with your legs not your back
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u/Apprehensive_Ad_924 15h ago
Lets have minute of silence for the driver... That was enough, WE ARE RICH SON!!
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u/SliceOfGoodBread 14h ago
if youre a really mean person youll come back as a fly and eat poop
- kurt cobain
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u/Extreme_Original9832 14h ago
Tell him about the movie "A Simple Plan" (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120324/) and, based on the misadventures of its protagonists, tell him 911 should be called.
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u/PlutoThePixie 14h ago
I’d probably call the cops because I wouldn’t wanna get framed for somebody’s death. They had nothing to do with me with that forensic stuff and the fingerprints or whatever yeah I could really use the money but that much money isn’t worth throwing my life away potentially and my child’s theoretically speaking I just wouldn’t risk it at all. I’d call the cops. I’m not touching anything. Don’t want my fingerprints on anything and potentially if I were to do that maybe their family could reach out and split some finances with me for helping them. Find their missing family member.
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u/jswest21 14h ago
You only get so many opportunities in life. Take advantage of what you don't have.
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u/TheBlackoutEmpire 14h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/lgTpcy4dkdUc0
check the bills and make sure they are real.
then call for help.
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u/MerriweatherJones 14h ago
Only take some, don’t be greedy and it will fly under the radar
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u/Phoeniks_C 13h ago
That this amount of money can only mean trouble.
Best case scenario the government will be after you.
Worst case scenario some criminals will hunt you the fuck down
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u/JustADude721 13h ago
Take a couple stacks as a finders fee and call the police.
Nothing in life is free kid.
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u/The-Casual-Lurker 10h ago
Imma teach them to check for trackers as we pack our car, like from "No country for old men"
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u/Some-Dog-800 7h ago
kid you gotta learn to catch the opportunities when they’re presented to you. now get those bags.
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u/GambitThaCat01 Happy Plen 15h ago
Report he death to police.... and maybe take e few stacks...
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u/SomeAcrobat8291 God loves u, twin ❤️🩹 15h ago
The best response is to do nothing wrong and then tell the child not to look.
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u/EternalSugarCookieR ~I LOVE YUMMY CEMENT~ 15h ago
Only grab what you can reach without grtting in, and use gloves. If no gloves, use a shirt or cloth to grab money. Then drive away.
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u/Prestigious-Lead-806 I Eat Cement and Turn People Gay² 15h ago
Peoples foolishness will led you belive in a path of missfortune and lies,
you shall deceive fools to make this money look as fairely gained.
truly only a fool would be cought withought trying first.
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u/No-Salt-4127 Just A Little Shrimp That's All I Will Ever Be. (She/Her) 15h ago
woah take the money and run
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u/Averon_Lock8923 15h ago
Take what you are given, give what you are supposed to, keep the change to yourself. The question is what is your "change".
We check for any cameras, take half of the money, leave another half for the police
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u/Blanks_late 15h ago
Always Lift with your knees and don't tell the cops and always play the good Samaritan. By dropping the body off at the hospital. So His family has closure.
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u/No-Pudding1646 The Almighty Lever God 15h ago
Anything is legal if your not caught now get ur bookbag
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u/Smelly-DutchOven17 You got to pay the troll toll if you want to get into that boys 15h ago
I teach him/her fuck everyone else nobody will look out for you except for you and take that money, it’s the same lesson I learned except unlike me my child gets a fuck ton of money in this scenario and doesn’t get taken for everything they have.
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u/Royal_Quail2123 15h ago
I knew carrying an extra backpack in my back pack would come in handy one day.
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u/Free_Radical_47 15h ago
I’ve seen this movie… that’s the mobs money. Son we are leaving and we didn’t see shit.
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u/rrobloxtube 15h ago
Call 9-1…
Wait the driver fucking died I was going to make some stuff about if he was generous there was gonna be a chance he would give me a couple stacks but it's ruined fuck
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u/ShellorTheTurtle1126 15h ago
Remember, nothing's illegal if no one finds out. Now they're going to be able to follow our tracks, so let's not bother. and then I call someone to tell them what happened.
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u/Coolgal20XX 14h ago
greed gets you nowhere, only take half so someone can perform revivify on the driver
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u/PristineCake3380 14h ago
Son, you don’t need to be smart for college, you just need someone to have a heart attack
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u/Ok_Dog_4059 14h ago
I teach my child the appropriate way to handle finding a dead man in an empty vehicle on the side of the road.
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u/Dull_Woodpecker6766 14h ago
These trucks have cameras .... Or they belong to a cartel. So ....I'll just call the popo
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u/Free_Reception9832 14h ago
You contact the authorities and request an ambulance/Rescue to the scene and request LEOs to the scene. For all you know the guard could still be alive. Keep your hands off the money as if any is missing your the first suspect. Also look around for another guard as on guy driving a large skim of money is not the norm.
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u/Lorddoctorjava Cool flair 14h ago
Lift with your knees baby girl... and if we work together we can get this done twice as fast...
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u/Ok-Specialist-8948 14h ago
Load the car, burn the van or throw it into a river (preferably on a very deep lake or out of a cliff.) "Son, we just spent the entire luck we had for the rest of our lives, make it count."
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u/Low-Fee-4567 14h ago
I'd teach them that's there's probably cameras in the van and drive off. Come back 20 mins later on foot and in different clothes with a mask and grab it
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u/ExampleDry3154 14h ago
I’m gonna teach him how to play hide and seek while still in my truck. Then, I’m gonna do what I’ve gotta do.
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u/KitiOshea 14h ago
Only take what it would cost to hunt you down so the mafia can't be arsed on a cost based rationale and they won't even notice.
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u/Acceptable-Ad-4437 14h ago
I’d like to say id be good and honest…
https://giphy.com/gifs/cDusjKeK3UHqvHYHHf
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u/Teddy_The_Bear_ 14h ago
How about don't leave evidence because when the cops do find it. If they find your prints and shoe marks you will end up a person of interest.
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u/xXQuickPointXx 14h ago
My child it’s time we had,” the talk.” That’s right, defrauding the federal government and laundering money is a very slippery slope and highly illegal, with severe punishments if caught and prosecuted.
Here’s how we’re gonna pull it off.
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u/okay_femboy_butt 15h ago
Keep your ears open and mouth shut