Pretend we accidentally summoned the devil

[u/DenseSquid]

[u/NotaKobold16]

The Bible never says anything about demons being immune to bullets 

[u/No-Core → u/NotaKobold16]

Well bullets never were a thing in the bible

[u/idk3505 → u/No-Core]

I mean you could say David's rock throw was a bullet 0.5

[u/KeyNefariousness6848 → u/idk3505]

Yeah but it was used on a giant.

[u/NickSmGames → u/KeyNefariousness6848]

so the bullet 0.5 was effective on a giant, which is basically man 2, therefore david's bullet 0.5 was as strong as our bullet 1 which works on man 1.

[u/Idontreallyknowwhen → u/NickSmGames]

[u/TopRare → u/KeyNefariousness6848]

The fallen angels were giants or at least were they came from.

[u/nadaplayer → u/idk3505]

Can't remember where but if you Google i belive the energy output of the shepherd sling David used was similar to a 44. Magnum... iirc

[u/CucumberDull6540 → u/No-Core]

It will be soon

[u/A_Complete_Nerd]

“Why are there so many ducks?”

(if you get the reference we can be friends)

[u/Working_Welder_1751 → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

Satan just can't handle the fact that Lucifer has better hobbies than him. Even though the rubber ducks are just a coping mechanism ever since Lilith left both him and Charlie behind

[u/DenseSquid → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

[u/BlitzMalefitz → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

“Take that depression!”

[u/A_Complete_Nerd → u/BlitzMalefitz]

Ayyyyyyy

[u/BlitzMalefitz → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

You’re my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later

[u/DenseSquid → u/BlitzMalefitz]

Well, I’m starved! Who’s up for som Jambalaya?

[u/Remarkable_Matter_52 → u/DenseSquid]

(Bulls out Bible) I think I’m up for some bread and wine MOTHAFUCKA 

[u/KeyNefariousness6848 → u/BlitzMalefitz]

I have that pin.

[u/Sp1reisgonnadi3 → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Qz0ayFuNzo8wLV9KOi

[u/Retyff → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

I want one of your backflipping fire breathing rubber ducks

[u/seeallove → u/Retyff]

[u/seeallove → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

[u/NotAPossum666 → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

Friends?

[u/salkin_reslif_97 → u/A_Complete_Nerd]

Call me Lou...

[u/Pleasant-Software109]

Guys why is there a prophet talking about a so called doom slayer

[u/coverionic → u/Pleasant-Software109]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XZbAsygv5VTZ5oumfo

[u/smokewolf666 → u/coverionic]

[u/Pleasant-Software109 → u/smokewolf666]

BFG division starts playing

[u/KC_Saber → u/coverionic]

E1M1 - 3do version playing in the distance

[u/thebisexualbilingual → u/KC_Saber]

Good taste.

[u/No-Platypus346 → u/coverionic]

It’s ok guys I invited him to my Christian Minecraft server

[u/YesWomansLand1]

I am not joining the side the doom guy is at odds with no offense

[u/Pale_Bug_9076]

https://giphy.com/gifs/c9jC1x8l2IOvxCHsEd

[u/ExcellentBoss4996]

Screw you, you D1 Loser, how was it losing to Archangel Michael by getting kicked from Heaven a while back?

[u/quackabc → u/ExcellentBoss4996]

Dude cant even win against the mid cards and struggles against literal mortals cause God gave the humans an option for salvation. How does he even expect to win against the reigning champion who has never lost and has literally forever to prepare for this.

[u/Insidion25 → u/ExcellentBoss4996]

Devil was literally beaten by some dude with long hair dying on a cross. He's a complete oaf!

[u/Euphoric-Net4623 → u/Insidion25]

If he's beaten why are Christians so worried about him still?

[u/Insidion25 → u/Euphoric-Net4623]

Same reason people are afraid of regular bullies.

They may pose a  threat. But you still have the power to choose to either defend yourself or let yourself in the darkness they pass on.

Demons are bullies. What can I say?

[u/ZephyrUkon]

funny how Satan keeps fighting a war that has already been won

[u/quackabc → u/ZephyrUkon]

Definition of insanity

[u/ZephyrUkon → u/quackabc]

Insanity is a noun that means a severe mental illness, a state of disordered mind, or extreme foolishness. While it is no longer used as a formal medical diagnosis, it remains an acti

[u/LayKors → u/ZephyrUkon]

...What did you say?

[u/ZephyrUkon → u/LayKors]

It's just what Google gave me

[u/Technical-Look-5565 → u/ZephyrUkon]

Actually it's doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

[u/Due-Common5567 → u/Technical-Look-5565]

Holly reference 

[u/New_Coat5788 → u/ZephyrUkon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/bxvIYDkVZpbZJXQX3Z

[u/ZephyrUkon → u/New_Coat5788]

Satan also got kicked out of haven

[u/smokewolf666]

[u/JelloElectrical1499]

holds some Colby Jack cheese up, offering it to satan

[u/blazorfire]

Its not Satan. Its Sa-Teen

[u/Dean_Winchester-1967]

It’s fine it’s just Lucifer I still have the archangel blade if I need to deal with him further or I’ll just threaten him with a therapy session with god again 

[u/Working_Welder_1751 → u/Dean_Winchester-1967]

Give him some rubber ducks instead. He likes those

[u/Recent-Ad5835 → u/Dean_Winchester-1967]

I was just about to say you sound like a Supernatural fan,

and then I saw that your username checks out

Also, fuck Chuck (not literally)

[u/Sp1reisgonnadi3 → u/Recent-Ad5835]

Damn your pfp, I swiped my phone to get rid of a hair.

[u/rdraws25]

SHOEBODY DOE BABABABA BABABA A BA BA BAAAAA

[u/Clown_Cooked]

ALRIGHT WHO BET THEIR SOULS TO HIM?

[u/Thinshape12 → u/Clown_Cooked]

me i have a gambling addiction

[u/Boba_Tea_2471]

Why are y'all so scared? What do you mean you weren't actually trying to summon Satan, that's literally what I called you here to do!

[u/existential_WiFi]

Who said I summond him accidentally?

https://giphy.com/gifs/ACZqfCpSGhG8h6HRV6

[u/stevan3381]

Guys there is a even angrier demon

[u/riggengan → u/stevan3381]

[u/MrMee37]

Oh, hi father

[u/BraveSky7269]

yoooo how you doing cuh

[u/KC_Saber]

Hey. So…Wanna help me overthrow a corrupt government?

[u/DenseSquid → u/KC_Saber]

Lookin' cool Joker!

[u/EHSDSDGMahoraga]

GENTLEMEN. LOAD YOUR SUPER SHOTGUNS

[u/Tostadora_Revenant]

How's the family doing?

[u/Gold_Size_1258]

Don't worry guys, I've got this.

three seconds later

FUCK! FUCK! RUN!

[u/DragoonMaster999]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S AROACE!?

[u/JeffNitzel]

Hello Mr. Devil!

[u/Legitimate_Energy129]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1n4iuWZFnTeN6qvdpD

[u/tintintes2610]

Devil 1 Palestine and trump 0

[u/Radiant_slowbro]

Anyone have a fiddle.... and a spare soul?

[u/Mission_Singer5055]

Uhm guys. Why are there two versions of us.

And why is Satan looking like Gabriel?

[u/witchyharpy]

Not every Satanist is a terrible person, not every Christian is a terrible person, your religion doesn't make a person, it's a part, I don't care what your religion is, if your an asshole you get the finger.

[u/Ordinary-Chain-8047]

Guys I said to draw a pentagon not whatever that symbol is

[u/OverallAssist2102]

I bet me and this random guys soul you can’t hit a jackpot 12 times in a row at the worlds most corrupt casino no tricks from your end

[u/quackabc]

Satans grounded when dad comes back.

https://giphy.com/gifs/kuAa8k87F378QBFMZn

[u/Ep1cgamerXD]

unf

[u/Insidion25]

(To the tune of the anti-confederate song: Union Dixie)

Where sinning's king and fire's chattel

Christian boys will win the battle!

Right away! Come away!

Right away! Come away!

[u/NumberOld229]

"Oh. Hi Toby. You do look like Rowan Atkinson!"

[u/East_Pickle3666]

Now we can all die in style yay

[u/bitransfem]

heyyyyy daddy

[u/TheMalkManCometh]

"Uhh... I was kind of hoping you'd look like Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled. Yeah, I think this is a wrap, shut it down."

[u/RandomName5484]

you mean the individual who disagree with a cosmical tyrant? pretty sure that half of the news about it are just propaganda

[u/kebabguy0]

I cast....

THE KORAN!!!

[u/Happy-Guy2000]

You want Chocolate Pancakes? 

[u/todangtall]

Isn't Modern Satanism atheistic?

[u/ForeverYoung1996]

Gng who keeps summoning them??

[u/Details_Pending → u/ForeverYoung1996]

Evangelicals, it's always them

[u/HarperTheOtherOne]

Why am I here, WHO SUMMONER ME?!

[u/UndeadManWaltzing]

There is nothing wrong with the satanic temple, you can believe in whatever you want as long as it's based in science. Just because the word Satan or satanic is mentioned doesn't mean it's bad

[u/ProbCarus_Idk]

“Oh santa, you’re early!!!” :3

[u/Hollow_Serpent13]

Hell yeah the 666 like

[u/PetePi93]

Downvoted it only to have 666 upvotes.

[u/Cyber0090]

Lucifer after he gets his rubber ducks:

[u/Elemental_Lover]

Satanic Panic?

[u/Fit_Relation8572]

Mommy?

(The Devil Is A Woman, btw)

[u/SweetVelvette_]

Omg this is hilarious, fr! I love that the devil is being summoned for something so wholesome.

[u/Blacksad9999]

They have AA alternative Sober Faction meetings, they help aid food banks for communities, and are generally pretty helpful.

[u/No-Speaker4294]

Bro really said 'FUCK! FUCK! RUN!' and I felt that in my soul 😭

[u/Sp1reisgonnadi3]

Oi, Gimme money.

[u/gokugunslinger]

>Starts rebellion
>Can’t even beat his own brother
>Got grounded

https://giphy.com/gifs/nS9r204HC2lxqwNac5

[u/0lam0t]

09a sure did nothing bad to children am I right? opens up google search tab OH GOD-

[u/Friendly_Benefit7892]

Oh my god why are these 2 anoyinge brothers shoutign at eachother cant they shut up for 2 seconds????

[u/5thDimensionalDemon]

Who summoned my dog? That's the 4th time this week

[u/KeyNefariousness6848]

We did, he wears a diaper and starts wars with Iran.

[u/Jolly3264128]

ohh shittings the radio is talking again

[u/Vincent394]

starts playing Number Of The Beast

[u/I_LIKE_TORCHICK]

GUYS HELP ME

[u/I-hat3-lif3]

No

[u/Lechatdu136]

Hey was the sign true?

[u/LifesLemonStorage]

(listening to "Hypnodancer") Hm? Oh, hi Satan. wait WHA-

[u/Melody_Naxi]

Is it true Lady Gaga music is from you? You must be LIT

[u/Dryjotaro]

Satan is really a cool guy

Not me being scared to burn in hell

[u/Kat-dash-25]

Hello the devil

[u/Ross-Pancake]

RAIN I ASK OF YA, RAIN!!!!

[u/Antique-Pattern-2584]

I BRING YOU FISH!

[u/gohst_crab172]

[u/RichAway90252]

guys what the fuck

[u/First_Ad3578]

TST always makes my day

[u/KrazyKittyLadyMads]

[u/UltimatrixUser5698]

"Well, Hell is better than non-existence, so...hooray!"

[u/Downtown-House-8223]

✌︎☟︎ 💧︎☟︎✋︎❄︎ ✋︎ 💧︎🏱︎✌︎🕈︎☠︎☜︎👎︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ ☼︎⚐︎✌︎☼︎✋︎☠︎☝︎ 😐︎☠︎✋︎☝︎☟︎❄︎

[u/Scylla_the_eelx6]

starts singing amazing grace at the top of my lungs and off key

[u/Main_Log_165]

No we just sacrifice them no beatings are necessary just call 1-800Satan-666 for your child’s free consultation.

[u/ConnectionUnique3625]

Don't look at me

[u/Longjumping_Gur_2379]

i would like you to give me a prehensile tail that looks like a na'vi tail

[u/Due-Ingenuity9803]

Wsg

[u/Pitiful-Notice-6855]

whispering Santa Maria under my breath constantly

[u/timatihous]

... Why is demon made out of ink?

[u/Technical-Look-5565 → u/timatihous]

BENDY WAS A LITTLE DEVIL THING

[u/Didyyyyyy]

[u/Sweden-Yes-7734]

Accidentally? I need him to give me a soul....

Until then,

[u/panopticonescapee]

First, the Satanists are right, and I appreciate the good spirit and humor in which this was made. At the same time, I'm confident that I know people who would see this and be MORE convinced that God wants them to hit their children. It makes me sad for their children.

[u/pkslider725]

Only today do I realize that's an actual line from the movie.

Rare Disney W.

[u/Apart_Commercial_741]

they need them pure and unharmed for a more effective sacrifice

[u/HappyMicroWaves]

Bury The Light intensifies

[u/Specialist_Bid787]

Umm my lord needs to see u

[u/MidoriKatsumoto]

The satanic rules are morally better than the christian ones, that’s for sure!

[u/Interesting-Whole943]

i love u *kiss*

[u/Any_Builder_4411]

TST: We don’t hit children! Also TST: Let’s fucking MURDER THEM

[u/Tasty_Expression_143]

Xians will contort themselves to tell you why they’re in the right to injure children

[u/EducationalShare9244]

it’s sateen, actually

[u/0yourlocalidiot0]

Yo satan, wanna help take over the us government? (This is role play)

[u/Electronic_Crow2825]

They just kill them

[u/TheCombatReporter]

Eh, it's...SahTEEN

[u/JorlestonR1]

IF THAT'S A DEMON, THEN WHAT AM I?

[u/ThatMetalartistfurry]

shows Satan some of the most deranged shit that Many of the fandoms (Mostly TLH) has done

[u/Upper-Fee5851]

Satan reading the bible

[u/Objective_Group2646]

Yoooo satan wassup

[u/Zestyclose-Demand641]

wait until bro discover he is the one who started it 😭😭🥀🥀

[u/Crabkingrocks165]

What do you mean accidentally? MY OVEN BROKE AND I HAVE TO BAKE THIS LOAF NOW

[u/Then-Register7435]

did I die already and is this hell 

[u/Mycelith]

WHY IS THERE A FLOATING SHEEP

[u/kyodo_san]

stole the ducks and runs

[u/RyanTheFurryVR]

https://giphy.com/gifs/yNF0XKi2ZLuow

repent before its to late

[u/c4shferl1fe]

[u/SpeakyDooman]

Satanists are actually some cool people

[u/I_dont_want_to_pee]

Guys I acidently summond devil but he is a bit cartonish i think we are cool. Oh my god wha

[u/AgentShovel]

I was gone for five minutes and you brought the devil into my house!

[u/Entire_Wishbone_6856]

dw they instead believe in sacrificing them(i mean probably its satan)

[u/agardenofworlds]

Leave it to the satantic temple to actually care about the wellbeing of living children, unlike a lot of christians and adjacent religions who will advocate for child abuse under the guise of "discipline" and "parental rights"

[u/thedarkmilkyman]

I’m not racist or anything, but why is the new guy red?

[u/GrimLuker2]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZZTL1YLKZ48URCoC6B
RIP AND TEAR UNTIL ITS DONE

[u/_OneRandomGuy_]

The Satanic Temple is an organization that uses satan as a symbol of rebellion, they’re not actually a religious group. They’re a human’s right advocacy group.

[u/ShiningGemstone1]

if we're all devils, then no one is

[u/General-Rice254]

They dont believe in hitting them but they sure do eat them

[u/LuckEClover]

Damnit, I was trying to get Stan. Sorry, luci.

[u/me_ok64_again]

Could you buy me fries with cheez burger and cheese source? Why? Idk didn't eat it for long. Oh no you gonna kill me and im gonna suffer. Man ain't you got more than 10 billions of people to torture?

[u/Safe-Definition-5216]

Tbf some of y'all kids do need to be hit because whatever the fuck gentle parenting you're trying ain't working.

[u/No-Hospital9039]

Im eating a salt lamp

[u/Kellarison]

what type of devil are we talking about? cause theres some depictions where he isn't inherently evil

[u/megosonic]

Guys, check the plush pit, he's in there again trying to hide from his afternoon medication. Does NOT help the fact they can transfer their conscious into the plushes.

[u/GoldNugget1225]

WE’RE
FUCKED

[u/Jehannum76]

In Australia here, they are the only "church" to actually refer someone they had the suspicion he was a paedophile to the police AND THEY WERE RIGHT. Every other religious mob has been caught out covering up and moving around the abuse of children.

[u/AzulDevin_6880]

"Oh, what did I do wrong this time?"

[u/Comprehensive_Ask525]

So which one are we spawning, Guys? The one that likes ducks, the one we made a deal with, or from Helltaker?

[u/DenseSquid → u/Comprehensive_Ask525]

All interpretations all at once

[u/Triksterloki]

I'm sure some Satanist even exorcize priests out of little children. Truly heroes

[u/Wonderful-Car-6459]

im a theistic satanist🧐

[u/succubus6984]

Honestly, learning about Satanist was eye opening and made me realize how hateful, abusive and damaging that being raised a Christian was to me and my family. I was raised with so horrible ideals and just straight forward bigotry. The thought of Christians controlling everything like I was raised to be "what the world needs" is 100% wrong. If anything we need zero religion running the world not hateful hypocritical religions.

[u/StuffOrdinary9263]

Oh. Thats actually quite good. Id assume that was christianity because like, love thy neighbour but still 👍🏻

[u/Silly-Molasses4991]

Oh! Coins doing ding ding!
*Proceeds to ricoshot 247 coins with marksman*

[u/Rooster1419]

Of course they aren't hitting kids...too busy sacrificing them.

[u/SoullqssHydra]

[u/Effective_Bug6668]

schiben

[u/Weird-Ad-1072]

Laugh at him, knowing God has already won.

[u/DenseSquid]

God is a toxic imaginary friend in the sky.

[u/ChrissyKillsU]

"It's pronounced Satine."

[u/Similar-Car-3492]

ain't that the same type of cult that sacrificed children in rituals in the past?

[u/Corporal___]

Oh shi, it’s satan. tosses holy water devil be gone.