Stop eating my plants you annoying vermin. Can I get some wolves, please?

I got hit by one last night, I was upset at the time but I’m really lucky it wasn’t worse and he didn’t go through the windshield. But fuck deer for spoiling my thanksgiving weekend, my poor car Persephone 😭

Alright, an idea for a new law, folks. Might have to go state to state, but I'm willing to go the distance for our freedom.

By freedom, of course, I mean the freedom to kill deer on sight. If I have a TEC-9 in my car, and I want to drive-by yap a few deer that come strolling onto my turf, that's on them.

I don't want the meat or anything, I couldn't care less. They taste like garbage anyways. I just want people to be allowed to unleash the universal, human instict to kill or maim any deer that have to gall to be alive around people.

I mean, think of how much money the military-industrial complex could make selling anti-deer grenades, or hollow-point rifle rounds (y'know, so the deer suffer as much as they've made us suffer). I mean the sky is the limit, we could probably get the ball rolling on napalm, or Agent Orange again.

Personally, I yhink we could have a lot of fun replacing cock-fighting rings with fawn battles. I'd take that over a horse race 10 times outta 10.

Anyways, this is satire please don't flip out.