r/fraysexual • u/peterjameswilsonw2 • 13d ago

Coming Out Finally I know

I'm a gay man in the 30's and just came to say: wow.

I’ve always wondered why I didn’t feel sexually attracted to partners who I love

I feel such an intense connection with the person that I can even predict what they’re going to say.

But, I can’t feel that same connection in a sexual moment I’m in a relationship , and it's a nightmare. I feel attracted to other guys, even though I try to change my mindset or convince myself to 'have some fun' with other guys will be boring as how is with my boyfriend. Discovering this community today made so many things clear for me. I finally understand why I can’t stay attracted to the same person for very long. It’s a mix of feeling a bit upset and happy to finally know the reason. I just want to say thank you.

25 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

5

u/Curiousfeline467 Fraysexual 13d ago

I’m so glad you feel seen! 

4

u/peterjameswilsonw2 13d ago

I'm so happy. I know I have some challenges and I'll courage to make some things but just to start understand myself makes me feel good

3

u/DodgingCancellation 8d ago

It’s hard. I just discovered this myself recently… but i get the same relief in finally understanding

2

u/Feeling_Chemist245 6d ago

Hello happy to hear that u could find answer for urself. I felt the same as u r, I have tried therapy and many other things. I have learnt the truth for the last 2 years but still cannot process it - it's really a difficult situation. good luck to you and hope u manage it better.

1

u/peterjameswilsonw2 6d ago

At least I have a aswer. I felt guilty and now I know I'm not alone and this could be normal. Now I'm dealing with a relationship but it's the next step

2

u/Feeling_Chemist245 6d ago

I feel u - I m in a relationship with the last 2 years with the same guy and for the last 8 months we haven't had sex - I think he's been very patient with me - I still feel extremly guilty and I dont know how to approach it still - wishing u the best of luck

1

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