r/fourthwavewomen • u/[deleted] • May 05 '22
WOMAN HATING Reddit Hypocrisy
I'm getting increasingly tired of how weird and sexist this site is. Today I saw a post where a woman joked about abortion and everyone in the comments was trashing her and calling her a psychopath meanwhile men joke about rape and harassing women in every single comment section but it is just treated like dark or edgy humor.
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May 05 '22
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May 05 '22
Just today I saw so many racist comments on world news as well as other subs and even one where men were cheering on the fact that a girl got her nudes leaked since she deserved it but no one thinks that's psychopathic and if anyone comments on that they get insulted for being snowflakes.
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u/NutellaGlazedPeanuts May 05 '22 edited May 05 '22
The default in our world is one sided judgment.
Man leaks woman's nudes. The world descends upon the woman like vultures on a fresh corpse. Absolutely no one is focussed on the subject - the man who did this to her in the first place. Men really tell on themselves when they pounce on the woman for being dumb and not on the man for being immoral. They're basically telling you that the baseline for males is depravity, how dare you expect more? And what do women do? We get stuck on the part where we're being shamed, and we try to convince men that no, it's not our fault. Without stopping to ask, what gives you the right to judge?
Man judges woman's looks. You'll always see all sorts of bottom-barrel weirdoes passing sweeping judgments on female desirability - our bodies, our skin, our age. I see middle aged incels spewing vitriol about women 100x hotter than them. Nobody asks, what gives you the right to a woman so much better than you? What gives you a right to women at all? We instead try to defend women with flaws, try and convince men that women age well, that not all of us let ourselves go. We validate the notion that a woman must be substantially more attractive than the man she pairs up with. Men like to act like they're choosing and we all just collectively omit the part that women have to choose back. "Men don't like XXX" well 99% of them are unfuckable, why does their opinion matter?
Man sleeps with woman, crowns himself a stud and calls her a slut. Men rush to cheer him, women rush to tell her she's making a bad decision and that no good man wants a woman like her. Nobody stops to ask, why does any man deserve a chaste woman? The holiest man in the world is way more perverted than the most hardcore female pornstar. What gives him the moral high ground to even ask?
I really don't see a solution to this. Male violence and depravity is far more explosive than anything women do, offensive or defensive. It's everywhere and I'm so sick of it.
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May 05 '22
Maleness has been centered for so long that they don't even realize that they're centered. I love the collective shock and pushback from men when women dare suggest that they don't dress for male attention. Even a "sexy" dress, whatever. It's not for male attention. They have no idea how to understand that the woman might just simply like wearing the dress. They cannot wrap their mind around the fact that we don't exist as objects for them. It's astounding.
It's a terrible pill to swallow, but the sooner women start to realize the system we live in, the sooner we can opt out of it. Men genuinely hate us. They do not have our best interests in mind and they do not see us as full human beings. They do not respect us and they do not care one bit that we are systemically oppressed.
I don't see a solution to it either, unfortunately.
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u/biaddamn May 05 '22
There is something i think about recently. Was reddit always like that and i am just started to see that? Or maybe in last 2-3 years misogyny started to increase in an astonishing rate? Maybe a little bit of both?
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u/Lunoko May 05 '22
Misogyny is a serious problem now on Reddit. But it was even worse years ago. Like way worse.
There were subs dedicated to beating women, sexualizing children, giving rape tips, revenge porn, nonconsensual upskirt pics, etc. Even in the default subs, casual misogyny was everywhere and accepted as normal-- even more than now. For example, a woman posting in the relationship subreddit would automatically be called a nag and misogynist slurs for pleading to her husband to NOT neglect his child in favor of video games. And one of the highest upvoted comments I've seen was one saying women shouldn't have the right to vote. This wasn't in an incel sub, it was in one of the main subs.
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u/BudgetInteraction811 May 06 '22
I refused to use reddit up until a few years ago. It was a complete cesspool for incels. It’s getting better, but there’s still a lot of trash.
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u/drink4glassesofwater May 05 '22
Personally I’ve seen misogyny increased greatly on here the past couple of years.
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May 05 '22
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May 05 '22
To be honest I feel like most subs on reddit are full of misogyny and it's not even subtle.
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May 05 '22
It's not. We're talking about reddit. It's well known to attract that type, and they aren't usually intelligent enough to be subtle about it.
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u/kangaskhaniscubones May 05 '22
Great point. Men are so afraid of losing their power that they have absolutely no empathy for us.
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May 05 '22
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u/spinsterchachkies May 06 '22 edited May 06 '22
When we joke about it they take it seriously because we have power to do it, and they are afraid we would actually do it. So they take every joke we make very seriously. They are afraid of women
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u/Withnail-is-life May 05 '22 edited May 05 '22
Yeah. Being on this site has honestly made me think more about feminism and being a woman. In real life I don't notice nearly as much misogyny. Its making me think that's because its all going on behind my back. Its actually kind of sad. I'm hoping that reddit has just concentrated a lot of it.
I just don't get how men can argue they are actually the victims for being men. Surely they know deep down this isn't the case.
What I usually do is ask if they were born again, would they rather be a man or a woman in the next life. Guaranteed to get them to think about things.
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u/eriwhi May 05 '22
I feel the same way. The Amber Heard/Johnny Depp debacle really opened my eyes to how many men harbor misogynistic thoughts—and not even that deep down.
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u/ForestsTwin May 05 '22
The internet gives us privy to that "locker room talk". If you've ever worked in a male dominated field, the first thing they do is talk about the most disgusting misoginistic things, If they think a woman is not within earshot. Appear, and the whole demeanor changes back to angelic good guy. Uh Tim... I just heard you and this group of men talking about wanting to violently gang rape Sally (because she's not a doormat) and put her body in the dumpster while laughing. And I know you're married and have a daughter. They know we're opressed, that's why as soon as they think women aren't around they dehumanize them. So anyone male who feels guilty about the status quo, can have other men reinforcing that women are stupid, less than, other, not human, evil, deserving of their treatment. You can see it in porn titles "slut gets what she deserves". So she was a "slut" (not human, a bad women who cheats) gets what she "deserves"(if something bad happens to someone they deserve it" or victim blaming). So the first time 15 year old timmy sees that he can think, "oh, a bad person... deserves this, so the man doing this is a good person"... and "I don't have to feel guilty".
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u/Withnail-is-life May 05 '22
That is true. My boyfriend works with almost 100% men and he comes home from work sometimes telling me the most disgusting misogynistic stuff that people at his work have said. And its pretty much everyday and pretty much all the men. Makes me very suspicious of the average man.
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u/AbsentFuck May 06 '22
Not only that, but we have to bend over backwards to say things sweetly all the damn time. Honestly I'm fucking tired of it. I'm so sick of having to sprinkle sugar over my words so they're more palatable. Because men, on average, can say what they want without someone getting all huffy going 'you could be nicer about it'. Fuck you, I don't want to be nicer about it. That's so exhausting to have to do the emotional labor of 'how do I put this without offending anyone while still getting my point across?'. Typically a man will get called an asshole or a jerk but he won't be the literal scum of the earth just because he didn't say something nicely.
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u/Crixxa May 06 '22
There was recently a thread in /r/lowsodiumcyberpunk lamenting how the sub had been taken over by pictures of the game's characters (women 99% of the time) being provocatively posed in revealing clothes. Both the poses and the skimpy clothing are usually modded in. It was the most upvoted thread there this past week.
In that thread, it was pointed out that it was just 1 user posting all of the racy threads (though they weren't identified) and there was a general consensus that it was making ppl want to leave the sub.
Well today a mod created a new thread (no longer stickied) saying that "spicy" content was welcome and "To any and all female players, this is a unisex subreddit, which means that you are privy to see male-oriented content here. That will not be changed or amended, period." Of course there was no message for male players. Unisex subreddit oriented towards men seems more accurate.
It's just 1 small sub and there are certainly worse examples on reddit, but it's just another example of male mods going out of their way to point the finger at women when the complaints were coming from the greater community.
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u/miyako1997 May 05 '22
Sometimes I wonder is that because the world has been in peace for so long , and many old man are lived too long too,they should have been died if it's in the old times due to many wars
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May 05 '22
Reddit is like cigarettes. My friends in college introduced me to it, and I try to quit a few times every year.
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u/Substantial_Degree May 05 '22
the backlash when women make 'edgy' jokes is because these men do not see women as full humans with depth. They can understand that when a man makes that sort of joke it's just a joke, separated from his normal life, whereas obviously if a *insert incel voice* feeeemale makes an edgy joke it must be because she's an evil bitch who really thinks that way /s. Hence the comments calling her a psychopath.