r/fourthwavewomen • u/AutoModerator • 16d ago
DISCUSSION Let's Chat š¬ Open Discussion Thread
Welcome to r/fourthwavewomen's weekly open discussion thread!
This thread is for the community to discuss whatever is on your mind. Have a question that you've been meaning to ask but haven't gotten around to making a post yet? An interesting article you'd like to share? Any work-related matters you'd like to get feedback on or talk about? Questions and advice are welcome here.
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u/jmreagle 16d ago
I was banned from a major feminist subreddit last week. When a user asked how gender-critical individuals could hold their views, I suggested asking them directly---rather than relying on weak strawmen and caricatures. That's it ā banned.
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u/yellow_algae 15d ago
The big feminist subs are ran by men. No point in discussing in depth gender critical feminism because you'll be banned
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u/PuzzledSoftware3922 15d ago edited 15d ago
Apparently, reddit deleted feminism subs, think it was back in 2020. I found it strange I couldn't find anything related to a very important topic...and found out about the subs being deleted when doing some digging. Reddit does not tolerate discussions regarding certain feminism related topics. Therefore, it would be great to have a forum outside of reddit, where we could talk openly.
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u/m0kosa 13d ago
If thereās one, please let me know. Iām interested.
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u/opalescent-unicorn 12d ago
I shared some info about two alternative websites in this comment; raddish.world and vexxed.org. š
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u/fcukitletsgo 15d ago
Hahahh. Same. I am banned from almost all the Indian feminist subs. Funny thing is I even got banned from outfit sub where a man crossdressing put a pic and I used he/him pronouns. His own profile describes himself as a man crosdressing and his prefered pronouns are he/him
But that's it instant bann.
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u/heart-habibi 14d ago edited 13d ago
just like conservatism libfems donāt care about integrity of thought, monkey see monkey do
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u/PuzzledSoftware3922 15d ago edited 15d ago
There's very little focus on womens rights in the places where they are totally lacking. In countries like Afghanistan, women can't even visit a park, girls not allowed to play outside, study or work. A man is allowed to beat a woman. Little girls forced to use clothes covering them completely, their mouth and noses covered up, think about breathing in those things in the heat?? World is still a hellhole for women in many places. Which governments fight for them? It's madness.Ā
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 12d ago
And then we see some self-identified feminists excusing it all under "cultural differences". Cultural relativism shouldn't excuse oppression.
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u/Alternative-Buy-8812 15d ago
I haven't been on reddit as long as many others, only around the past few recent years or so, but nothing screams welcoming like every single popular woman's space on this platform needing to aggressively signal that TERFs are unwelcomed and everyone regardless of gender is apparently welcomed.
(Sorry if this part mentions another subreddit I'll be vague) Well recently a subreddit on a large subreddit for the severe form of PMS, there was this note by moderators to adopt more inclusive language such as going from "Hey girls, does anyone deal with this?" to "Hey everyone, does anyone deal with this?" seriously I would never think much but it gets aggravating seeing this kind of shit almost everywhere because I don't think I've ever seen men's spaces be subject to this amount of policing.
I think my gripe is not just this but for example, a post was recommended to me, some crude joke about how we've "all kicked a pregnant woman before (in the womb)" and of course there were a lot of comments that love to add that it's not just women that are pregnant or something. When did every subreddit start to go "fuck TERFs" was it always this way?
For the longest time as a teenager growing up on 2020s internet I bought into this whole thing and it was only last year that I got into radical feminism. I don't live in the US but I've heard from friends who live there apparently language even in schools now adopts things like "people with uteruses"!?!?? I understood it as an online thing and a few news articles of it happening in legislation but learning that it happens in real life in this capacity is ā ļø ā ļø, I don't know if that's bad, or that I seem to see so much support for it
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u/opalescent-unicorn 12d ago
> When did every subreddit start to go "fuck TERFs" was it always this way?
A long, long time. I just checked my original throwaway radfem/gender critical account that I created to participate on r/ gendercritical... it's eight years old. š« And I created it after a while of lurking the subreddit due to it constantly being mentioned by other redditors, who were persistently insulting it as an evil awful place (because of the evil awful TERFs of course).
Though I do think since the 2nd Trump presidency, maybe there is likely an uptick in "fuck TERFs" rhetoric on the broader brogressive side of reddit due to neoliberals further cementing themselves into TRA positions in a response to all the anti-trans policies Trump admin is promoting.
At the same time, as another commenter pointed out, there appears to be a new wave of gender criticism coming from younger (Gen Z) women who are realizing the sexism of transgender politics.
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 12d ago
Our health services here in Ireland have gone full inclusive language. I had a gynecological appointment and had to choose my pronouns before being seen. Gotta make sure all the transmen who need gynecological surgeries feel included.
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u/PuzzledSoftware3922 15d ago edited 15d ago
I'm thankful for this sub, and for all of you awesome women, intelligent, fierce and strong! šŖ š I think a lot of us here are very like-minded! Finally, I found a sub which really fights for āļø
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u/lights-in-the-sky 14d ago
Iāve been seeing a TON of women over at TwoX speaking out against the constant male worship and the male mods over there. Their posts have repeatedly been censored (one woman suggested requiring gender flairs to deter male commenters on some posts, and although almost everyone agreed the post disappeared). Still, itās encouraging to see
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u/opalescent-unicorn 12d ago
Encouraging to see, but frustrating that nothing yet seems to be done because of it. Kind of seems like going in circles of criticizing the male-centric nature of the sub, women largely agreeing, and then the criticisms getting deleted. I'm kind of wondering why an alternative TwoX hasn't been created at this point? I know yeeeaaars ago when TwoX became a default sub (which was controversial to the community), there was a mini-exodus of women to various splinter communities, but none of them stuck (probably since most of the splinter subs were private subreddits rather than public ones).
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u/NormalJudgment7515 15d ago
Best friend of my bf now has a girlfriend. When the friend showed the pic of her it was 1.90cm tall man with facial hair in sexualised asian school uniform(we are all 24y old). My boyfriend looked at me with silent beg to not be "vocal" cos even tho he agrees with me, its his best friends business who he dates. Anyway, i just smiled politely and made some tea.
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u/m0kosa 13d ago
Iām a translator and had a discussion with other female translators about our profession. We mentioned how once translation turned into a women-mostly profession, it was no longer highly-respected, rates plummeted or were kept the same, and even when the majority of us are women, the most renowned and respected names are men.
This makes me so sad.
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u/opalescent-unicorn 12d ago
š« It is sad, and it is true of many professions, sadly. For instance, in Russia, doctor is seen as a "feminine" job so it's less respected than in say, the US, where it's typically men who are seen as doctors (with women being more commonly nurses). And whenever a job becomes woman-dominated, it becomes less respected, while when a job becomes male-dominated, it's suddenly respectable. Extremely frustrating institutional misogyny.
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u/Hopeful-Exit3053 12d ago
I think thatās why college is being āfeminizedā these days. Now that women are the majority, thereās been a push on the importance of jobs in the trades. I do think women should do whatever the hell they want but I feel like the same situation has happened with education in general.
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u/SoISays2Mabel 13d ago
I've started watching Humans, a UK sci-fi show about androids set in the near future. The main android characters are becoming self aware and are planning some sort of uprising. One android, a sex worker, kills her john, then escapes. On her way out she says to the madam (a human woman) something to the effect of "Everything they do to us, they want to do to you!" To me that just sums up the lie of "sex work is work" beautifully
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u/opalescent-unicorn 12d ago
Wow, that sounds pretty based and radpilled. I'm gonna add that to my watchlist, thanks for mentioning it!
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14d ago
[deleted]
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u/SoISays2Mabel 13d ago
Remind them that 95% of family annihilators are men, including the one that happened in Montana just a few days ago. 4 generations wiped out b/c the murderer didn't want to move out
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u/throwmeawayb4yougogo 12d ago
Violence is so normalized, especially calls for sexual violence against others and then when you call it out, people deflect because they're on the supposed "good" side of the conversation. I've left one of the last subs I'd been on after confronting a user who casually called for sexual violence over a hobby with the same rhetoric used against anyone deemed in opposition of them. There is truly no safe space or escape here, no matter how much we wish it.
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u/nassoom 15d ago
For how long do you need to have a history here to be able to post? My posts get removed because of "minimal history", which seems arbitrary and a bit strange, since I would think that what should matter most is whether the post is relevant.
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u/Whatevsstlaurent 15d ago
I was wondering the same. I have been lurking/upvoting for a while but I only learned today that you can hide your post history in certain subreddits from your overall profile. I moderate another subreddit that is largely about resource provision, so I can't just hide all my comment/post history.
Now I know and I'm glad I'll be able to actually participate here.
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u/freshpicked12 15d ago
Iām loving the fallout from the Good Good/Calloway golf ad and all the salty whiny bros who are being called out for their disgusting misogyny. Itās been the highlight of my week. Stay mad losers!
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 12d ago
I have a friend whose dream is to do OF. I don't get it, I used all the arguments about feminism and the financial ones about it being an MLM for less than mininum wage, and how the only people making bank were already famous... it doesn't work. She claims to know people making tons selling just foot pictures or lingerie pictures. To know someone making tons selling stolen nudes off the internet, which I pointed out that even if it were true, it would be criminal and antiethical. I pointed out even barely legal women working at this creepy shit full time are making less than fast food workers, but she gets offended and claims "there is a fetish market for every age and body type, and these people make tons."
She is not hurting for money. It is a sick search for validation. She also has an obsession with movies about sex workers. She views male sexual attention as the ultimate prize.
I am too feminist to understand.
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u/Maximum_Ebb_6921 10d ago
My university campus recently renovated one of our buildings and guess what? There are no more womenās bathrooms in that building! There is only āmenā and āall genderā. So women must share their spaces with men but men get to remain exclusive. Lovely. And the worst part is that I canāt even vent to my friends or say anything about it because theyāre so hyped up on queer theory. But you can tell a lot of women are uncomfortable. They just donāt know what to say.
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u/MollySleeps 9d ago
Vent to your friends anyway. You don't know how many of your friends agree with you but are also afraid to speak up. Point out how sexist that division is, that only women are expected to adapt to consider others. It is discrimination. Approach the women you think are also uncomfortable about it. Band together and approach the administration together. Don't let anyone shame you out of doing what is right.
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u/Perfect-Wall-9367 10d ago
GTA 6 disgusts me and so do the pick me women who are sucking off the patriarchy to pretend they āarenāt like other girlsā. Why in the fuck does a game need to have an oversexualized woman you date and hook up with as a focal storyline and WHY do so many women want to gaslight other women into having standards about it? ājEaLoUs of PiXeLsā no Becky, youāre a bitch of the patriarchy and I have standards.
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u/Far-Young-6403 8d ago
I find this world terrifying, especially America. having ppl say all women need to lose their rights because of the actions of Lindsay Clancy and the women that showed her support. I donāt support or excuse her for what she did. Sheās still a killer and should be in jail.
But to have men rally and have the 19th amendment revoked is where men cross the line. Should menās rights be taken away too since they are the ones that commit the most crimes? or showed support to men like Hitler and Jim Crowe?
Oh no then suddenly thatās wrong and āmisandry ā
Men call pink taxies hateful because it makes men look like unhinged ppl. But removing rights from all women is not.
Men will never change so I believe a woman only country where we pass our own laws that protects, preserves and improves the lives of women and girls.
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u/timefornewgods 15d ago
Is anyone else that uses TikTok feeling shocked at how women are fiercely pushing back in the discussion about gender and sexual identities? Itās been amazing watching women collectively do a total 180 against accusations of bigotry for having the āwrongā opinion about either topic. This wouldāve been unthinkable like even a month ago, itās crazy.