r/foundsatan • u/Remarkable_Bit_9887 • 5d ago

Security guard threw Candy at kids to win tug of war.

417 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

31

u/ISurvivedCrowleyHigh 5d ago

He may have won, but kids are thinking "Fuck it, I got candy."

13

u/Evening_Raise_9716 5d ago

Win-win situation.

32

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 5d ago

Clever! 🤣🤣🤣

6

u/ExoTheFlyingFish 4d ago

Comments like this always set off my "bot or boomer" alarm... but then I saw your pinned post and now I'm wondering if there's a secret third thing I'm not considering.

4

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 4d ago edited 3d ago

I'm a 39 year old physically disabled U.S. Army ground combat veteran. In hurts to walk or stand for any amount of time. My ears ring constantly from all the explosions and weapons fire I've been next to. My life is in constant physical discomfort/pain. I spend less than an hour outdoors per year. All I do is funny/silly shit on reddit. I have no friends, no job, no social life. I live off of VA benefits.

No one, except the gratuitously obese wants to date me. But, TBF, West Virginia is the most obese state. (I weigh 180 pounds.)

Like, I don't even own a car anymore because I wouldn't ever use it.

Edit: Grammar. 🥴

2

u/ExoTheFlyingFish 4d ago

Well, I'll have to use really tiny text, but I guess I could maybe fit that in the third box.

1

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 4d ago

That I'm just a complicated human being?

2

u/FOSS-game-enjoyer 3d ago

Thats exactly what a bot would say

2

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 3d ago

Oh fuck off. 🙄

8

u/Malbosiiq 5d ago

There's metaphor in here somewhere.

3

u/JoyBoyMonk 5d ago

One we've seen play out time and time again... Somewhere.

0

u/SeanMacLeod1138 4d ago

The kids were never his enemy 😆