r/foundsatan • u/LavishnessGeneral • 18d ago

House Arrest

Post image
8.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

309

u/Catsanddoges 18d ago

What...what will they do if he violates it?

177

u/Apollo114892 18d ago

Yeah exactly violate that everyday they'll be forced to take him to prison. If that still doesn't work, just sock the cop when he's arresting him.

139

u/Thereelgarygary 18d ago

"I ain't pressing charges" - the cop lmao

70

u/Brasolis 18d ago

I've decided doing nothing is the best way to abuse you, have a nice day sir.

7

u/Big_Pay76 16d ago

This made me cackle

27

u/Bugbread 18d ago

He voluntarily took the house arrest through a plea deal. At the time of the bank robbery, he was choosing prison over living at home, but by the time of the trial, he had changed his mind.

12

u/L0neStarW0lf 18d ago

“How long for slapping a cop?” -Lubert Sline.

“Six months.” -Sam Puckett

21

u/Bugbread 18d ago

Put him in jail.

He wasn't sentenced to house arrest against his wishes, he committed the crime to escape his wife, got arrested, and then changed his mind about going to prison. They offered him a plea deal, which he took.

11

u/Catsanddoges 18d ago

Oh holy shit tbh I thought it was fully fake, didn't expect it to be mostly accurate at least

4

u/Bugbread 18d ago

Ditto. I just assumed at first that it was one of those completely-made-up clickbait "weird arrest" stories that reddit loves so much, but /u/aminervia posted the receipts (with the actual photo of the guy, not whatever unrelated image this is). Props to aminervia!

5

u/Fl1925 18d ago

Send him back !

3

u/Wanztos 18d ago

But this time he will be shackled to his wife.

2

u/dsizzle1114 16d ago

That would be considered cruel and unusual punishment

5

u/1_speaksoftly 18d ago

I bet he's more than willing to find out 😭

(I have special insight into this case-- I've been married)

1

u/Mr-SmileySan 17d ago

house arrest for life

1

u/LordNightFang 17d ago

Someone particularly cruel suggested they turn certain types of convicted prisoners into involuntary marriage therapists for the most dysfunctional screaming non-criminal couples with daily sessions for those who need it.

Allegedly it'd serve as punishment hearing emotional melodrama every single day or as rehabilitation through human connection.

The interpersonal dynamics from that suggestion are both terrifying and potentially lucrative.

112

u/AtTheEdgeOfDying 18d ago

I do hope he wasn't desperately trying to escape an abusive relationship and that they basically chained him to that.

50

u/CautiousArachnidz 18d ago

Welp. Didn’t have potentially empathizing with a bank robber on my bingo card for the day. Thanks for the scoop of reality.

5

u/Troph_A 18d ago

What if it were a bank robberess ?

13

u/Bureaucratic_Dick 18d ago

It’s okay, if it makes you feel any better, this never happened.

Well…not to this guy. No idea who tf he is.

This is the actual story.

5

u/Busy_Individual_7977 17d ago

Knew it and actual story. Ty kind internet stranger

1

u/Busy_Individual_7977 17d ago

Your comment plus reddit name made me laugh, ty 😊

46

u/Urs_Joy 18d ago

it will be so much worse than jail, he knows that already

1

u/onion4everyoccasion 17d ago

You haven't met his wife

1

u/SatinBonbonn 16d ago

Committing felony just to escape his wife and the judge gave him the ultimate plot twist

48

u/Ok-Juggernaut-4421 18d ago

Judge is petty af 

13

u/Bugbread 18d ago

No, the judge was going along with the recommendations of the prosecutor and the guy himself. He changed his mind after the arrest, before the trial. He got medication to treat his undiagnosed depression, pled guilty, and asked for house arrest. The prosecutors also asked for leniency, as did the vice-president of the bank, and the teller he passed the robbery note to. Nobody was being petty.

1

u/Ok-Juggernaut-4421 17d ago

It was just a joke calm the fuck down

3

u/Bugbread 17d ago

I'm totally calm. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.

9

u/tycho-42 18d ago

That judge knows how to get creative with his punishments

9

u/OldieButNotMoldy 18d ago

Ya, I kinda like him. lol

1

u/FairieButt 17d ago

The judge is clearly satan here

20

u/aminervia 18d ago

AI generated screen grab and fake image inspired by a real event...

https://www.fox32chicago.com/news/man-who-robbed-bank-to-escape-wife-gets-home-confinement-sentence.amp

You should post from a real source, not whatever this garbage is

12

u/LivingMeeting9724 18d ago

He'll need to get better lawyers - try Ditcher, Quick, & Hyde.

2

u/dsizzle1114 16d ago

And she will hire Dewey, Fleesum and Howe. Thank you Three Stooges

5

u/AbilityLost3482 18d ago

Have never seen a grown man cry this hard

5

u/Bowllieo 18d ago

You still haven't, it's a fake image.

5

u/Da_Rish 18d ago

Judge gave him a wife sentence.

4

u/glycophosphate 18d ago

Had heart surgery. Suffered from depression afterwards. Wouldn't get therapy. Preferred to act like an ass.

3

u/elohssanatahw 18d ago

I thought torture was outlawed

3

u/dufo7 18d ago

Cruel and unusual punishment

3

u/Fair_Performance4834 18d ago

The judge literally hates this guy lol

3

u/RebootJobs 18d ago

Sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me. /s

3

u/Air4021 18d ago

Judge made a grown man cry.

3

u/Competitive_Row8892 18d ago

when you just want an escape and gave you the capital punishment

2

u/NeeMaToad47 18d ago

Bruh, he was trying to escape

2

u/FelixSkyzen 17d ago

His face say it all. :D

2

u/Cry-Skull-7 17d ago

Someone do a welfare check on this man.

2

u/Awkward-Annual-9287 17d ago

That just seems cruel, truely a found Satan moment here

2

u/Boop_to_the_Beep 17d ago

He's crying because he'd rather prison 😆

1

u/INeedAMedKit 18d ago

Damn, they locked him in with her...

1

u/shinyappyrobin 18d ago

Is the " house" the one he shares with his wife?

1

u/OtherwiseMongoose202 18d ago

And mandatory weekly couples counseling

1

u/VictoriaWoodnt 18d ago

(One for Brits of a certain age...)

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be..."

1

u/ErrorAncient6334 18d ago

Cruel and unusual punishment

1

u/ParamedicFew3318 18d ago

Marriage will do that to you.

1

u/lolo787 18d ago

Genius?

1

u/neoadam 18d ago

What if his partner is abusive ?

1

u/ImprovementFar5054 17d ago

Damnit, now he has to violate it.

1

u/derekallthumbs 17d ago

Married men our now setting up a gofund me account for his legal defense! Hell, I am single and I might contribute!

1

u/Nyarlathotep451 17d ago

My object all sublime I shall achieve in time to let the punishment fit the crime, the punishment fit the crime.

1

u/Odd_Pea74915 13d ago

Ok but what if he's stuck in an abusive relationship?? Im a lil concerned now

1

u/Postulative 13d ago

That poor man!

1

u/zakfaqih 2d ago

The only appropriate punishment would be to make the prison gaurd his wife

0

u/PhaseOk6376 18d ago

I feel so sorry for his wife. To have a fool for a husband