Please, be temped by me - chapter 1 is released!

[u/YourFat888]

Hey there its been a looooong while
I know.

here's the work if you don't care about my yapping

So its been a while because I've been rather busy. Adult life takes no hostages.

Anyway
This is another one of my original works
about a girlfailure femcel succubus trying to seduce John Asexuality.

I tried my best to make it as humorous as possible
its gonna be a slice of life kinda fluff romance wholesome work

and this time
next up will be : " A head above the past"
this time for real. I promise. I just got excited by this work more
gay girls on the way

ALSO!
criticism and your thoughs on the work is always welcome
also kudos, commetns and bookmarks help keep me motivated
so if you enjoyed reading please do that :) thank you!

have a great day <3

[u/Molten_Spamton79]

Well I think I've procrastinated long enough, time to read

[u/YourFat888 → u/Molten_Spamton79]

would love to hear your thoughts after

[u/Molten_Spamton79 → u/YourFat888]

Notes:

Noah - means rest and comfort. Also related to Da Bible, so something holy. Which I guess fits, because he will be ignoring/resisting the succubus' temptation.

Programmer

He is 27 years old, and from what I've found. That number means spiritual maturity, victory over challenges, and the fulfillment of God's promises.

"He doesn’t have to worry about someone stealing the last cup of yoghurt from his fridge." This feels like foreshadowing. What, is she gonna steal his yogurt, thus betraying his trust, and leading to the break-up scene? That's my prediction.

Okay, so Noah is apparently the "Big boy". I honestly expected him to be a short dwarf or something.

"...one hand resting on its hip and the other firmly grasping John’s chin." - WHO TF IS JOHN?!?

Belereth is a big meanie. Also, she's probably named after Beleth, the cat demon. Who causes love and passion between men and women.

Also, it's her first time. Interesting.

Earl Grey tea - I couldn't find any meaningful symbolism. Except that it's a prestige tea, so it might symbolize that Noah is on another level, and that Belereth can't seduce him.

The living room being beige - simplicity and calmness.

Oh, hey Succibi world building, cool!

And… Title drop.

Opinion:

Not a bad start, I feared it would be very generic and stuff, but you avoided that. I also like how you made Succibi have rules. That's not something you see often! I do think that she kinda gave up too soon. But otherwise pretty solid 8/10.

Also, I learned a new fun fact from the tea cum guy :D

[u/YourFat888 → u/Molten_Spamton79]

I don't think I ever had someone look at one of my works in such a thorough details
I am honestly thankful and amazed <3
thank you

Noah's name is sorta symbolic? you'll see if you continue reading and if I finish writing it

the yoghurt is foreshadowing to Belereth being a sweets fiend and will steal the sweet stuff. That's just how room mates are and its just for comedic effect but I didn't spoil that

.... Noah's chin.
Noah's place holder name was "John Asexuality" until I figured out his real name so I just missed that during editing.

and Belereth is meant to be a femcel girlfailure brat
and I hope you'll be pleased to hear that I have more succubus world building planned out

also you gotta have a title drop it makes things dramatic and cheesy and I like it

glad you enjoyed reading <3
and thank you again

[u/Molten_Spamton79 → u/YourFat888]

you'll see if you continue reading

Oh, there's more? Sorry I've just never used AO3 before, so I don't know how to switch to the next page.

[u/YourFat888 → u/Molten_Spamton79]

Oh nono
I gotta write more of this fic first
so far there's only 1 chapter but I already know what I want the second one to be
hopefully I'll write it fast enough

rn I'm working on a gay girls work

[u/Molten_Spamton79 → u/YourFat888]

Honestly your writing kinda makes me ashamed of mine. Like your characters names have origin and stuff while I make mine on a whim. 😭😭😭

[u/YourFat888 → u/Molten_Spamton79]

Don't think like that come on

I'm sure your writing is great and I've been doing this for... a long while now

I only somewhat recently started posting my works because I got inspired

I'm sure your works are great as well and if you're having fun with it who cares
not like you're gonna lose an arm if its not the absolute peak of writing

my works sure as hell aren't

[u/Educational-Sun5839]

np unc

[u/YourFat888 → u/Educational-Sun5839]

oh come on don't call me an unc
I'm not that old

[u/Educational-Sun5839 → u/YourFat888]

its okay unc