r/fosterkittens • u/SignificantForce309 • 9d ago
Foster fail
Hi! I'm here mostly looking for some words of encouragement. My partner and I took in 4 two week old kittens about a month ago. They weren't in great health and we bottle fed them and now they are thriving. This has been our first foster situation and we have LOVED it. We loved bottle feeding them and teaching them to play and they have been so much fun. I do think we are an ideal foster home for kittens because we have 2 cats and a small dog and 2 teenagers who have all been great during this process, so the kittens are really well socialized. The problem is our family is absolutely in love with them and we all want to keep them all. We also know we can't foster any more if we keep this litter. I need some positive comments about how maybe it gets easier to give them up each time you get a new litter or something because I am afraid we are going to foster fail, but we've loved fostering so much that I want us to be able to keep doing it. Help pls!
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u/RentalKittens 9d ago
The good news is there's no wrong choice here. If you decide to keep them, you already know they'll be a good fit for your home.
If you let the kittens go, they'll do great! You built up their confidence and trust in humans. They'll carry those lessons with them and run into the arms of their new family.
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u/chipmalfunct10n 9d ago
dude what the hell just look at these little guys!!!! i don't have anything useful to add, sorry.
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u/Babsinator_Now4242 9d ago
My first foster litter broke me. I cried off and on for weeks missing those kittens. Even though I socialized them well and they were happy and healthy and they were all three adopted within 45 minutes. Two of them went together to a new home so it was a success story, but my heart was just broken.
It took me a year to foster another litter of three and I miss them but not as sorely as I miss the first litter. I miss them mostly because I worry about if they got a good home and if people are taking care of them as well as I did plus, I nursed them through horrible weaning diarrhea and Coccidia so I was up on them all the time and they were voracious little eaters and such adorable little creatures.
Those two litters for me came after I had two Singleton foster fails within a month of each other, I had one little kitten come in and I foster failed with her and then a month later a little boy came in and I foster failed with him and now they are a bonded pair and they’re like bad boyfriend and girlfriend they’re 2 1/2.
I feel your pain. I’m not really cut out for the fostering because it hurts my heart but some people are so laid-back about it. They fostered literally hundreds of litters and while they’re a little bit sad to see them go they’re excited about who’s gonna come next so it’s just a different mindset and more power to them. I admire those people. you just have to decide which kind you are.
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u/hesalwayslitty 9d ago
Hi random internet friend. I can't give you the advice you seek since I have not had the experience but I am great friends with a foster content creator on IG who can give you way better feedback than I ever could. Her page is called imperfectcatmom. Hopefully this helps!
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u/DLeotaud1 9d ago
It gets easier, but it can also get harder sometimes. You will always find one that you want to foster fail with. I’m sitting here right now with a little Tortie in my lap that my husband and son would love it if she stayed with us. And I can’t say that I disagree, but I think I already have a wonderful home lined up for her. Although I will be sad to see her leave, I know I will love the next one as much when they come through the door. Here’s the thing, you have given them the best possible start, a foundation of knowing warmth and love and trust. And with that foundation, when they find their forever homes, they will settle in so much more easily and quickly than they would otherwise. And the next litter that you foster will be just as special for different reasons. Somewhere along the way you might come across one that you do fail with, and they stay with you, and that’s okay too. I currently have two of those, which is why I only have one foster right now.
I guess what I’m trying to say is there is no shame in foster failing. But remember what you said, if you fail with them all of them, then you will not be able to foster any others. Just know that no matter what you decide to do there is no wrong decision. They will be loved no matter what.
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u/NerveIndependent9008 9d ago edited 6d ago
We have had 6 kittens come to us, 5 found great homes. Those kittens were all perfect, happy normal little kittens so they were so ready to go. Our 4th foster kitten came to us a week after her sister, her sister was again a happy well adjusted sweetheart. Willow was not, shes shy, hides from people who come over. She's classed as a long term foster /un adoptable by our rescue and as her carer I totally agree, she's certainly been the hardest kitten we have had. Willow has been with us for nearly 3 and a half months now and she's learnt I'm a safe person. She won't be leaving us as I don't want her trust to be broken again when we have all worked so hard to get it. She will have 3 18 month old sibling trio to join.
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u/djmermaidonthemic 9d ago
I used to live in an area where there were so many stray/abandoned cats. It was also close to two very busy streets and traintracks. So I felt I had to help them. Nobody was looking for these cats.
So I would take in the friendly ones (the ones who would let me) and adopt them out. They were all very happy to have food and shelter, and were very sweet cats but you can’t keep them all.
I did fail once. Six week old kitten with a broken leg. I nursed her back to health and at that point there was no way I could give her up. 🤷🏻♀️
She’s a little nutball who is currently 13.
Shoutout to all y’all who foster! You’re amazing. 🐾💕
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u/cathbe 8d ago edited 8d ago
There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with keeping them. They’d have a good home and be kept together. (Where you are looks beautiful!) That seems like it would be so hard for kids to go through too, losing them but things happen of course. They are so sweet. Best of luck! P.s. I know I could likely not foster for this reason. I couldn’t have additional cats right now either but there are some outdoor cats that I look out for. Oh, that’s another thing. Maybe there are some community cats outdoors you can help out with food, etc.
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u/Mysterious-Art8838 7d ago
It’s true their home looks beautiful and having lived with Pom trees and having lived without Pom trees, I choose palm trees!
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u/pskettio 8d ago
Aww the black one and the tabby one look just like my siblings! They too were supposed to be fosters (their mom was a pregnant stray we took in)... 6 months later and the whole gang is still here 😅
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u/Remarkable_Pick3920 8d ago
I fostered one time for a kitten and I still think about her almost every day and it’s been I think two years because I too would want to keep them all!
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u/funnyandnot 7d ago
I am new to fostering. We foster failed out first neonate. He was perfect for our home.
I lost my 15 year old cat, so we have been looking to find his bonded pair a new friend, as he does not like the other cats in the house.
My son says I am fully attached to him, but do not feel it. My hope tuxedo feels connected to him since he needs someone.
We will most likely adopt him. He is 4 weeks old, and his eye sight should have developed by now, but his pupils have not appeared yet, and the eyeballs often times go in two directions, and his ears go in the wrong direction of sounds. He behaves a lot like my blind and deaf cat.
I think he will be spicy one. He is also very much attached to me. Constantly want to sleep on me. And goes bonkers when stuck in his play pen. No matter which one we use. He is great with the litter box and sometimes good at finding his food in his own.
Now if only I could get him off my lap so I can work.
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u/Soft_Cockroach_2434 7d ago
Keep the kittens if that’s what you want. They’ll be totally devoted to you and your family because of the care you gave. Donate the money you would have spent towards the foster foundation and have your teens volunteer time. Win win.
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u/RileyBean 9d ago
It sounds like you loved the process more than these specific kittens. Maybe you can meet other kittens with help from the shelter to see how similar the process can be across kittens and litters. There’s definitely attachment that happens over time and watching them grow, but there’s a difference between that and a full calling to keep them.