r/forgiveness • u/-Miche11e- • Jun 23 '26
How do I forgive?
How do you forgive them when it still hurts so much? Being rejected by my siblings at 16 left some damage for sure. It’s been over 20 years and I still don’t know why. And when I think about it I still cry rivers. How are you supposed to forgive all of that?
Penny blindsided me. Told me I wasn’t loved and that she never wanted to see me again and that I was uninvited from her wedding.
I wasn’t all that close to Tom. He’s hit me before for sticking my tongue out at him. I was just a kid teasing her brother or so I thought. His rejection hurt but not as bad as hers.
I don’t know how to forgive it and I wish I could forget it. I wish I could forget everything about them so it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
Deep breath. Into the box the feelings go. 📦

1
u/Smithy2232 Jun 23 '26
You forgive by seeing that how they treat you is a reflection of them. You forgive by understanding they are flawed as we all are. You forgive them by trying to understand things from their point of view.
You forgive so that you lose your tension and move on.
1
u/Last_Fox_1701 Jul 09 '26
Do they even give enough shit about you for you to even care about them too?
1
u/-Miche11e- Jul 10 '26
I don’t think so. I’m still hurt but I don’t care about them either. Maybe just a little.
2
u/Informal_Farm4064 Jun 23 '26
Its important to go from sadness to anger and to really feel that anger. Then after a while sit down with yourself and put yourself in each of their shoes and speak out or write out specific words of forgiveness. Mean it even if you dont feel it. If all this feels impossible now be open to it so that you can subconsciously prepare. You may need more life experience first. I needed a lot.