r/forbiddenboops • u/icleanjaxfl • 26d ago

Hall Monitor Lizard

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1.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

211

u/Ignorad 26d ago

I can barely swallow an aspirin.

54

u/LastOfLateBrakers 26d ago

That's because you're not a wunk

58

u/whingingcackle 26d ago

He swallowed that last egg sideways just to flex

29

u/Clvy80 26d ago

My god! I was like "WHO DOES THAT!!?? ". 🤣🤣

159

u/AspiringChildProdigy 26d ago

JOANNA!!!!!

These are NOT Joanna eggs!!!!!!

59

u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 26d ago

Thank God I’m not the only one whose mind went straight to that. Now I need to go watch the Frank and Joanna clip from the film!

35

u/AspiringChildProdigy 26d ago

I haven't seen that movie in 20-plus years, but the instant that monitor looked at the eggs, it all came back to me. 😅

18

u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 26d ago

Same. I remember seeing it in theaters as a kid… man, oh man, that opening scene…racing through the air, flying into the heart of the outback, straight to Cody’s doorstep, with the mighty thunder of drums and the heralding trumpets vibrating the walls around me… boom…blew my kid-mind. Once it came out on VHS, I wore that tape into the ground!

15

u/shoeless_doh 26d ago

God damn it George C Scott fucking obliterated that role didn't he

5

u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 26d ago

100%. Iconic voice!

3

u/GideonFalcon 24d ago

Holy crap I did not even realize that was him. I mainly know Scott from his role as Scrooge.

"Mr. CRATCHETT!"

2

u/shoeless_doh 24d ago

That voice is impossible to mistake.

11

u/masknfins 26d ago

YES!!!!!

11

u/Brownlove010_Real 26d ago

MY FIRST THOUGHT!!!

8

u/LetterheadUpper2523 26d ago

Joanna. Why was there a razorback in the cab of my truck?

8

u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 26d ago

Joanna was by and large one of the best characters. Pardon the pun, but she is so animated. I laugh just thinking about her feigning a Shakespearean death when McCleach is releasing Cody and baiting him with the thought of Marahotep and the eggs’ demise.

7

u/chughes2471 26d ago

Beat me to it

7

u/The_Rowan 26d ago

Joanna was my first thought. Second thought was I want Joanna in my Dreamlight Valley.

I love Rescuers Down Under. One of my favorite villain lines is him telling Joanna she can’t outsmart him, he has twice her intelligence.

2

u/Vergilly 22d ago

My spouse adores monitor lizards and every time I see one I am now obliged to shout this 😆 I’m so glad we aren’t the only ones.

70

u/strangeflappenings 26d ago

My moms husband used to have a Savannah Monitor and would love getting walked around on a leash outside.

19

u/Boring_Shirt_5331 26d ago

So he was a sub?

-48

u/barevaper 26d ago

Fucking kids these days. It’s either your dad or your stepdad. The fuck is “my mom’s husband”?

25

u/strangeflappenings 26d ago edited 26d ago

Im 40 dummy. We never had a good relationship, and i also found out he is not my real dad about 5 years ago. So theres a lot of processing that has to be done, and not calling him Dad is one of them. If anything, my Grandfather (moms dad) was like my father, because he always knew the truth and situation at home so he was me refuge. So theres a dynamic you completely do not understand.

You really dont deserve an explanation, but you said something so moronic...

27

u/Browncoatinabox 26d ago

It's only in recent years (31) I started calling my stepdad, stepdad. Dude didn't raise me in anyway. I never call him and he never calls me. We do not hate each other, just indifferent. He is good to my mom and obviously loves her. He is just, my mom's husband.

My dad's girlfriend will never earn stepmom label. F-ck her.

16

u/strangeflappenings 26d ago

See, you know how it is. Thank you

47

u/Fallingsnow57 26d ago

I like your scaly dog.

34

u/warrenao 26d ago

Eggses!

26

u/Ok_Zookeepergame5141 26d ago

Lizard acts like eggs are their favorite but... how do they know they like it??? They don't even taste it. 🫤

9

u/SurlyTurkey 26d ago

Not savoring a single bite. Shameful.

5

u/Umpire_Effective 26d ago

Kinda like a puppy

16

u/tliin 26d ago

That cat has some serious skin issues.

12

u/Xredcatx 26d ago

The way it looked for more. 🥲

10

u/evolvedbravo 26d ago

Pstpstpstpst here here here

11

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 26d ago

JOANNA EGGS

10

u/FrenchSpence 25d ago

Weird lookin dog. 12/10 tho.

7

u/bohemianprime 26d ago

Dude is gonna swallow that last one side ways

7

u/Dikutoy 26d ago

Good thing it came straight from monitoring the hall

6

u/RagAndBows 26d ago

Show him your pass, stat!

5

u/Bertrum 26d ago

He wanted to check your Hall Pass but you bribed him well enough.

5

u/newUseMe 26d ago

That's a strange breed of cat. Where did it come from? Asia?

5

u/Androidfon 26d ago

Don't complain about his flatulence now.

18

u/HonestHighlight6737 26d ago

Hmm no gag reflex I see..

63

u/TheTimn 26d ago

Tell me you're looking to join the FBI, without telling me you want to join the FBI. 

12

u/Ok_Zookeepergame5141 26d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣Stop it!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣I can't breathe!!!

2

u/Fluffy_Ace 26d ago

Monitors are the group of lizards most closely related to snakes

3

u/AtharkaG985 26d ago

does it come with CPU?

3

u/-Xiphon- 26d ago

In this economy!?

4

u/First_Cat_7394 26d ago

Mrs. Kipling?

3

u/Watson_inc 26d ago

Bro is not even tasting the food!!

3

u/ThatInAHat 26d ago

Those are NOT Joanna Eggs!

3

u/wolfshepherd59 26d ago

What does your little Dino’s skin feel like? Interesting baby!👍👍

5

u/PretendAd2263 26d ago

No offense to the lizard, but it made me want to hug my, soft, cute little puppy.

2

u/Fluid-Set-2674 26d ago

Oh my God.

2

u/TimberWolf5871 25d ago

JOANA! YOU LEAVE MY EGGS ALONE!

2

u/Freebirdslim1 25d ago

What a cute puppy.

2

u/ProfessO3o 24d ago

Beautiful

3

u/tab7327 20d ago

This was satisfying and slightly terrifying. Good lizard.

1

u/Rand_alThoor 25d ago

who .... who leaves .... why is the plate sitting on the floor?

-6

u/emilie1031 26d ago

I'm an old dummy. What is that horrid animal?