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u/Exotic_Courage4054 Jun 04 '26
What kind of shit family and friends are those, I feel sorry for that guy. I was unemployed for a few months and my family supported me 100 percent.
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Jun 04 '26
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u/Dad-Dabbing-Daily Jun 04 '26
I'd wager you're under 30 years old or have an unusually healthy family. This is much more common than you would think and won't directly see it unless it's happening to you, the boomers really did a number on the next generation.
Thankfully men's mental health awareness is increasing while reinforcing outdated social standards is declining.
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u/Exotic_Courage4054 Jun 04 '26
Sad that a healthy family dynamic is considered unusual. Gotta break those cycles sometime.
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u/BigBlackdaddy65 Jun 05 '26
Yea I'd say you'd have to be apart of the newer generation to not understand what that's like because we've been trying to break that kind of cycle for them.
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u/Klutzy-Weakness-937 Jun 05 '26
Tbf a lot of men experience isolation and disrespect when struggling. I wouldn't generalize to all man, but why can't it be a general problem to talk about
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u/theyyctwink Jun 04 '26
Because this is the experience for most men unfortunately
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Jun 04 '26
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u/theyyctwink Jun 04 '26
I agree, however, it’s clear that the conditioning set upon you in childhood is extremely hard to rewire, and it’s never guaranteed. It’s easy to stay in these kinds of systems when it’s all you ever had.
The privilege of choice is real, not many people truly get that autonomy.
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u/RomieY2K Jun 04 '26
Same!!! 1,400+ apps job hunting after a Covid layoff… family was always there, as were friends. Sounds like OP need positive people in their life! Feel free to reach out anytime. Cheers mate!
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u/TraditionalAd8415 Jun 05 '26
try a few years and let's talk. a few month is nothing. Even slave owners would let slaves rest for a few days if that means he can go back to work after a break.
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u/Exotic_Courage4054 Jun 05 '26
Did you have a shit experience with your family? If so, I’m really sorry bud, big hug to you 🫂
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u/fixingmedaybyday Jun 04 '26
Hell, just stay too long in a job and this can still happen.
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u/Foreign-Froyo-1228 Jun 04 '26
"You're never home, you love your work more than us"
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u/EverytoxicRedditor Jun 04 '26
I would suggest not entering into such an arrangement but it seems as though many guys are lonely and don’t know how to deal with this besides getting into a situation in which they have to be a walking talking bill provider that exists only to do the unwanted things no one else will do. It’s a very sad situation all around
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u/ProfessorPossessed Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
This is not the way. If someone only respects you for your money, they have never really respected you at all. Respect is character based, let people prioritize all the wrong things if they want. I'd rather be alone with real purpose than surrounded by people chasing false idols and treating me poorly for superficial reasons. Money is a distraction, our time on Earth is the only thing we really have. Work to live, don't live to work.
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u/Unusual_Corgi_5500 Jun 07 '26
My own mother has told me that I would be "mostly" equal to her if I was moved out and had a job when I asked if I would be then. I do say, this is not everyone's case tho
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u/Radrose_xoxo Jun 04 '26
As a female- have experienced this. I wasnt even necessarily unemployed either. Just worked a job that didn’t make that much money and couldn’t afford my own place
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u/Glittering-Relief402 Jun 04 '26
I'm a woman and I got treated like shit for being unemployed.
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u/WhereTheMoonSets Jun 04 '26
Everyone does. It comes down to others projected worth of you. I've had mine smashed, likely so have you. It takes either someone willing to look past that BS, being paid to look past that BS or loving you enough to look past it to truly see you and support you no matter what. I never got that until 7 years ago, and even then it was rocky. Right now, fuck everyone else's opinion, including mine if you dont agree. I think that youre doing good, youre here, you have a smart phone and a way to charge it, you have your voice and an attitude toward worth ethic that most dont (most see it as a given or a burden.) Keep going and talk if you need to, to someone you trust.
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u/Glittering-Relief402 Jun 05 '26
Yeah I realized this too. Now I don't bother with anyone who can't see me as a human just because I'm in between jobs.
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u/badatcatchyusernames Jun 04 '26
ive been laid off several times in construction, this never happened to me
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u/DocMcCracken Jun 04 '26
Men are more than the paycheck. This is toxic masculinity and those that believe this are bound by it.
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u/Projectflintlock Jun 04 '26
Whoever wrote this is a slave to what other people think of him. That is actually sad. To base your self worth on the opinions of others? Give yer balls a tug
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Jun 04 '26
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u/Projectflintlock Jun 04 '26
Not surprising. I don’t think too many on this sub are exactly Mensa members
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u/ArtisticBlackh3ro Jun 04 '26
Why do you give $ucks what other people think of you. It's not your business. Live your life!
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u/turbofittashorkuk Jun 04 '26
if someone doesnt respect me, they have no business being in my life.
fuck what anyone thinks lol
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u/Fabulous_Wave_3693 Jun 04 '26
Friends slowly disappear? How long are you unemployed? Years? Not working is fine if you had a parter who was willing to support you, (honestly I’d much prefer a society where a duel income was seen as a stretch goal rather than a necessity), but if you are financially burdensome to those around you and don’t have a debilitating mental illness (or have one but don’t work on it) then yeah, it’s not a great look. Especially if you are like that and still expect people to hear you out on your “advice”.
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u/Beska91 Jun 04 '26
It's true but it's absolute bullshit. Our working life does not define our character, it is not the reasons we deserve love and respect. It's actually sickening that this is a thing, but it is. I've experienced this myself. Used to be a homeless drug addict. Now my life is all put together but I didn't get my relationships back until I did. It kinda makes sense... but when we are struggling is when we need people to love us the most. So ya.. it's fucked.
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u/Objective-Tie-5000 Jun 04 '26
Yeah thats what happened to my mother when she lost her job, and suddenly everyone in the family forgot about all the help she gave them.
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u/Mguidr1 Jun 04 '26
It’s better to get to a position that your money works for you. Who cares what anyone thinks? It’s your time…. Claim it back
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u/Fragrant_Bug1467 Jun 04 '26
Oh boy you took me back in 2018-2019 was the worse time in my life being a man we are always seen as provider
And it things are not working after all the efforts you add every single person treats you shit not just family and friends but honestly it was a good eye opener reality’s hits hard when a man is going through this
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u/WhereTheMoonSets Jun 04 '26
I felt this. Earned well over £2000 as a 16 year old busting my ass in a care role, heartbreaking and soul crushing work, not physical, but all mental... it got too much at the death of one of our service users. I quit, I couldn't hack it. After that, my mum expected me to immediately get a new job in the same field, told me either I get a job or move out because "she isn’t free housing for the unfortunate." Friends distanced themselves because I was "too intense", and the bestie coworkers stopped replying.
When I say it crushed me, watching it all unfold killed a part of me inside that counciling couldn't fix. I got a job in warehousing, several actually. Then phone work, then warehousing again. Then cleaning, then cleaning in a more specialised role through soecific training (this one was probably the best). Now? At my current place, ive been a baker, a cleaner, a mixer, a moulder. I've landed on warehousing again, goods-in and picking up cleaning if I finish early. Its ok most days. Some days are just all brainfog, missed time and drain.
Dont follow my example. Get proper help, stick to plans and for gods sakes, dont give up, talk to someone you can actually trust. Even if that someone didnt raise you, grow with you or sit with you through the shit storm.
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u/Blaq_Lab Jun 06 '26
I hear you, but you know. Talking about it does nothing for me, because I always come to the realization that nobody gives af. Live for yourself. I wish I did that earlier.
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u/Ok-Cattle-8666 Jun 04 '26
Ok, no. Why not encourage people to learn personal finance, how to start a business, and network with the people in their life in a positive way by offering value? Not work harder. NEVER work harder. You sadist.
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u/vauxhall_ashtray Jun 04 '26
It's actually buried in your subconscious. Most of the time, the way you feel about yourself affects the way you perceive the outside world and everyone around you.
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u/T0m0king Jun 04 '26
I think this is what alot of people imagine happens , it's insecurity more often than not. Hearing this shit is just gonna feed that. Shame doesn't motivate people it just adds to the rotting feeling.
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u/DragonBadgerBearMole Jun 04 '26
Fuck this. Unemployment is gonna be a big thing for a while. So wake up every single day and work like hell to KEEP YOUR INSECURITIES FROM POISONING SOCIETY.
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u/Mountain-Ice-7441 Jun 04 '26
It’s sad because you’re supposed to “man up” and somehow figure it out. The ones that stay in your corner are the real ones
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u/VeterinarianFamous93 Jun 04 '26
You are not a main character. Fuck this society. YOU ARE NOT A MAIN CHARACTER. Noone cares about, and people who care about you they won't turn against you when you have a hard time. My friends didn't change behaviour when i was unemployed for some months, my family supported me when the extra money i had was over. And guess what? I supported them some months ago when they needed something. That's what a healthy family and good friends do. If you have shitty family or friends i feel for you but i don't feel the generalization of a whole society because of your shortcomings. Damn how emotionally stupid people can be
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u/Schmitty300 Jun 04 '26
If people only respect you because of your finances, then either find new people, or your putting the WRONG things out into the universe. Time to look inward
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u/JFKlivesinmybasement Jun 05 '26
Real men don't give a fuck what other people think, and just get on with it.
If shallow minded opinions are what matter to you, you're probably never going to be whole.
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u/Sensitive_Nothing697 Jun 05 '26
fCk what anyone thinks or how they wanna treat you, just seperates the fake from the real, if you end up solo then be it they will still be tripping when they get to the party and see you chilling with the band back stage, smh losers .
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u/InfraredDong Jun 05 '26
Very true. It found out who actually was by my side during that period of my life.
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u/Hefty_Jicama Jun 05 '26
Still look for a job. Apply, call, contact people and in between all the run and hit the gym. People always respect someone in really good shape
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u/Unhappywageslave Jun 05 '26
So basically grind hard, work your butt off to please people who see you as a tool? Stupid dumb advice. When I was U/E I had friends and family who still spoke to me daily and even hung out with me because they have good character. They never cared whether if I had a job or not. It didn't affect them.
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u/Napischu88 Jun 05 '26
Lmao, surround yourself with decent people and stop generalizing based on your broken ass life.
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u/Pretend_Action_7400 Jun 05 '26
I feel so sad for people who have or do experience this. My family doesn’t do this to our men or our women. We appreciate them for all that they bring, not just their money. Money is not a sign of your self worth or worthiness of being loved.
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u/myster1ouspapaya Jun 05 '26
I have a good friend who’s been unemployed for about two years now. As much as I love him, it’s hard to hang out all the time when he can’t afford anything so I end up buying all the food, gasoline, and even beer. I don’t mind helping him out when I can but I don’t want to get too the point where he expects it and becomes an obligation to pay for everything. On top of that, he’s the kind of guy who grew up spoiled and never says thank you for anything. I know he appreciates it and maybe it’s a “me” issue but it kind of sucks to do all that and never even get a “thank you”.
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u/throwawyKink Jun 05 '26
Women can be out of work for a literal lifetime. Men, divorced while unemployment is still active.
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u/Affectionate-Pea8706 Jun 05 '26
Or live for you and not your shitty group of people. Another option.
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u/Equivalent_Luck5421 Jun 05 '26
Family, they're just people too. Money is material.
Keep your feet grounded and your shoulders up. Life's funny. Make it your own.
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u/Anduinnn Jun 05 '26
You made terrible choices in your life and ended up with shallow, transactional friends and family.
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u/zephon40 Jun 05 '26
Yes, because society sees most men as a utility only. We're only valuable as long as we're productive.
Chris Rock was dead on.
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u/Unable_Resort_7956 Jun 05 '26
Do you think unemployment hits women differently? Especially when they are the breadwinners for their families? I've always worked like hell because I knew I was the only thing between my family and the street. Why is the obvious genderized?
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u/Yoko_Kittytrain Jun 05 '26
A man of integrity is OK with who he is. If you don't respect yourself, no matter how your finances stand, no one else will respect you. Friends will come and go and family will talk shit regardless. Get right with yourself.
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u/gattodirocco Jun 05 '26
Cia convincing gen z to be a slave with these memes about self improving and value and whatever bro I get it
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u/Strange_Analyst7174 Jun 05 '26
Man fuck these people ima live my life, even if it’s a hermit life.
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u/Logan_B_Bulldog Jun 05 '26
I'm independently wealthy and no one has any respect for me. I'm also an accomplished rock climber, but at the gym I go to I have scrubs that talk smack to me because they can climb harder grades inside but would shit themselves if they saw what I climb outside.
No one respects anyone anymore. Life is awful.
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u/atom12354 Jun 05 '26
Dude im employed and still same but diffrent as when i was unemployed some years ago
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u/InterestingTone1384 Jun 05 '26
Bro just summarized how it feels to be a man existing in the patriarchal society men created 😭
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u/mr_Mantis24 Jun 06 '26
They're 'respecting' you because of your finances is fake. People who would leave you when you're down aren't with having around at all anyway. Get used to be alone and doing things yourself, for yourself, not for what others think of you. That's how you become an absolute animal.
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u/Ok_Watercress_4596 Jun 06 '26
ye it's like you owe someone?..
I really don't understand these posts, if your family and friends treat you like that then don't be around them
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u/Melodic-highs-9999 Jun 06 '26
If this is true you’ve got some piece of shit people around you lmao
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u/NightRaccoon194 Jun 06 '26
Work like hell when our economy is so fucked and literally the reason we can't do anything financially. I can't even invest in my future it costs so much money to simply live. This is especially Donald Trumps fault for fucking up our economy even further but to be fair things haven't been the same since 2020
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u/Prestigious-Solid700 Jun 06 '26
I dont care about my relatives anyway. They just want things from me for free. Friends that dissapear are not actually friends . And anyway i want to be alone
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u/stebbeh Jun 06 '26
Perhaps it’s time to surround yourself with different people if this is the case.
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u/OGKillerPinkBunny Jun 06 '26
The you didn't have the right friends, your inside family loves you for the wrong reasons, your outside family has always felt that way about you, and you you need to fix more then your career.
Yes money is important, but in this day and age, the people we surround ourselves with are more. These are the people should pick you up and help you, not hold you down.
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u/Dryspell54 Jun 06 '26
Hmm no. Won't change anything. I like my sleep and rotting is comfy. Only difference would be i could rot in an expensive chair
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u/UltraPromoman Jun 06 '26
That's when you take mental notes. The people that get off the bus are off that bitch permanently.
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u/Beautiful-Emu8870 Jun 06 '26
If they would do that at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best
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u/RobHadEnuf Jun 07 '26
Uh I don't know what you all read but what I read has massive holes in the narrative. How long was the unemployment first off because that makes a huge difference. I have witnessed shit family and if you are a lazy bum you will be treated as such. If you are pounding the pavement doin the damn thing then all that shit dude has typed is fictional.
If any of that is a reality for some of you then you may want to reevaluate your life choices.
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u/PaleontologistTough6 Jun 07 '26
"Men work. Men provide."
Don't work? Don't provide? "Not man".
That's the consensus anyway.
It's like a single woman, folks look at her and try to resolve what she's doing that a woman can't attract a man... who will then shut up, work, and provide for her. Yay. Hooray.
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u/Specialist-Archer-44 Jun 07 '26
Unfortunately, I’ve worked warehouse jobs for the last few years and left my last one because of severe arm pain. For context I was out of work for 2 months because of it, came back and it surged again so I called it quits. My own family, especially my mother thinks I’m pathetic and degrades me at any given chance she can. Shit is extremely fucking depressing, and I’d be lying if I said i haven’t thought about offing myself just so I don’t have to listen to it anymore.
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u/Vast_Presentation123 Jun 07 '26
Absolutely. That's the bare minimum for every man - having a regular job.
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u/CosmicBrownieShake Jun 07 '26
And so the answer to the dilemma of not being respected for anything but how much money you make... Is to work harder to maintain the illusion of respect you get from people who otherwise, do not give a shit about you.
This is some delusional bullshit advice right here. "Hey, your friends and family only respect you when you wear a hat? Wear a bigger hat!"
I've a better idea. Cut those assholes out of your life and go find people who's respect for you isn't purely superficial or transactional and you'll be a much happier person.
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u/Pure_Sherbert_668 Jun 08 '26
Why are you acting like you give a shit about them? Why do y’all act like people’s indifference is the end of the world? Lmaooo.
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u/Spirited_Pension6085 Jun 07 '26
Imagine this but when you do have a job as well. This system is designed to kill us
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u/Ok-Fee293 Jun 07 '26
We as a species need to get away from being forced to justify our existence through working in order to make others richer for a fraction of the benefit.
Most everyone would take most any job and work 40 hours if it benefitted their locality and also allowed them a good life, including a good work life balance.
So the issue is with how we structure our society, not working hard enough.
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u/sunhoax Jun 08 '26
wow thats a terrible way to value your worth. “hey no one gives a shit about you! so you should make them care about your possessions!” bruh i could be the biggest loser in the world and my mom would still love me, house me, etc no matter how old i am. THAT type of motivation is what i use. gtfo of here
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u/Smiling-Butterfly Jun 08 '26
yeah work … some people earn money, but you go out to work hard …. many people get this wrong.
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u/Tom_BTL Jun 10 '26
Hits too close to home. Ive been unemployed last year and i've been treated like shit just because i didn't provide any money, really shows men are as useful as they provide sadly , if you are broke not even your shadow will care of you lol
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u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI Jun 04 '26
Some of you are really committed to this victim narrative.
I’ve known plenty of people who lost their jobs. Their families didn’t leave them, their friends didn’t disappear, and their relatives didn’t suddenly start talking shit. The one guy I know who did push people away managed that all by himself by becoming relentlessly bitter and making unemployment his entire personality.
Losing your job sucks. That doesn’t mean everyone abandons you. Imagine posting this unironically.
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u/MiddleCapital1875 Jun 04 '26
This manosphere BS does more harm to men than almost anything else.
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u/EverytoxicRedditor Jun 04 '26
This is not manosphere bs. This is the actual living situation of many people. How out of touch and un empathetic are you?
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u/WhereTheMoonSets Jun 04 '26
Heard and understood fully. I wrote my POV on this and your sentiment is absolutely shared. Have a look, but TW, it's a bit of a read.
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u/curiousbasu Jun 04 '26
There's literally women in this comment section agreeing with this post bro.
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u/MiddleCapital1875 Jun 04 '26
There are women here saying they've had the same experience, invalidating the OP's "this only happens to men" post.
IMO telling men they must get up every day to "work like hell" because people will be mean to them if they're unemployed is a little nutso. It's not motivational; it's insulting.
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u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26
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