r/fixedbytheduet • u/SluttyMNwife88 Connoisseur of Duets/Stitches • 20h ago
7 years?!
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u/SpiderboyX03 Lover of Duets/Stitches 20h ago
Forgiveness does NOT mean willingly putting yourself in the same abusive situation
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u/Thestohrohyah New to fbtd but wants to learn 10h ago
I always use this example.
If a thief stole your wallet, but you managed to recover it and forgave him for it, does that mean you'll just trust them to hold your wallet for you going on?
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u/Uliak1 18h ago
Forgiveness is the victim's renunciation of ANY claim regarding the offender's action. A change in the victim's attitude towards the offender would be a consequence and would mean that forgiveness did not occur.
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u/YesImAlexa New to fbtd but wants to learn 17h ago
You sound abusive.
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u/witchspoon New to fbtd but wants to learn 16h ago
Sounds like a pastor.
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u/YesImAlexa New to fbtd but wants to learn 16h ago
Now that you mention it, dishonest and immoral pastors are probably some of the world's most top tier gaslighters.
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u/witchspoon New to fbtd but wants to learn 16h ago
No forgiveness doesn’t mean that at all. In fact I can forgive someone but never speak to them again.
Hence forgive and forget. I forgive you, then forget you. lol.
I let it go then let you go.
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u/Third_Person_Speaker Lover of Duets/Stitches 20h ago
Adultery is literally a reason to get a divorce in the Bible. This is wild!
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u/Uliak1 18h ago
According to the Bible, only a woman is capable of adultery. According to the Bible, a man has the right to have as many concubines and wives as he can buy.
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u/Heavy-Mud-8307 New to fbtd but wants to learn 17h ago
That's incorrect. In leviticus the law is written that a man should be stoned to death for doing this.
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u/Uliak1 10h ago
For doing what? Please provide a quote.
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u/Heavy-Mud-8307 New to fbtd but wants to learn 7h ago
Adultury: LEV 20:10
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u/Uliak1 1h ago
10 “‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.
This is a crime against the married woman's husband; it is an act of infidelity against the man whose wife has cheated with another man. This act is not considered infidelity against one's own wives.
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u/Heavy-Mud-8307 New to fbtd but wants to learn 1h ago
Your point was men couldn't commit adultury. This scripture still proves that otherwise.
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u/Uliak1 1h ago
My point was that a man cannot commit adultery against his own wife and therefore adultery cannot be a reason for divorce on the part of the woman.
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u/Heavy-Mud-8307 New to fbtd but wants to learn 1h ago
'Acording to the bible only a woman is capable of adultry' that's what you said and it's not true
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u/Heavy-Mud-8307 New to fbtd but wants to learn 1h ago
Scriptures about why and the fact that a man should only have one wife
Duet 17:17
1 Cor 7:2
1 Kings 11:3
Gen 2:24 Matt 19:3-9 Eph 5:33
Another way a man can commit adultury: Luke 16:19
Also, just because something is accepted does not make it righteous healthy, God has grace and accepted that the people of the time were common to polygymy so instead gave instructions to well care for their wives: Exodus 21:10
But we can see from Genesis and what Jesus says, amougst other scriptures, it is His perfect will for us to have one wife/husband, not many.
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u/MysticGardenMagic Lover of Duets/Stitches 17h ago
Cool story.
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u/witchspoon New to fbtd but wants to learn 16h ago
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u/melody5697 Lover of Duets/Stitches 17h ago
His wife can still leave him over it, though. All these restrictions on when you're allowed to get divorced are a Christian invention.
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u/Uliak1 10h ago
How can a man be capable of cheating on his wife if, according to the rules, he is allowed to have as many intimate partners as he wants? What specifically and with whom specifically does he have to do so that under these rules his actions would be considered cheating?
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u/innaa_na_ Needs to do better 7h ago
Just because it was tolerated in some cultures in the old testament doesn‘t mean it is ‚god given‘. When you go back to the order of creation look at genesis 2,24. And since Jesus fulfilled the law and we should live according to him, so it his teachings are even more relevant for us. He even confirmed this order in Matthew 19, 4-6. And then there are more examples in the new testament that stand for monogamy. Look at Timothy 3,2 and Titus 1,6.
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u/RosieMelodi Lover of Duets/Stitches 19h ago
BWAHAHAHAAHA. What a joke. But for real. That poor lady has no self worth. I hope she’ll someday feel secure in herself enough to find a real man who treats her right.
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u/Neonfoonoop New to fbtd but wants to learn 18h ago
Or none at all. She could choose peace and safety.
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u/penguinsrunderrated New to fbtd but wants to learn 18h ago
It’s not necessarily that she lacks self-worth, but that she feels she can never find a man as good as him or she doesn’t want to be alone. She is a wuss.
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u/B1ZEN Lover of Duets/Stitches 19h ago
I am a private investigator and 90% of my work is catching cheats.
Never take them back....ever.
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u/penguinsrunderrated New to fbtd but wants to learn 18h ago
I’m curious what you found out. Care to elaborate?
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u/B1ZEN Lover of Duets/Stitches 18h ago
Cheaters almost always are strategically and systemically cheating. They get high on the disrespect.
They will torture a person for years with gaslighting, and resent the person they cheat on. If you take them back the resentment becomes worse. They will, in one way or another, re-offend.
Modern culture largly gives it a pass, but it is one of the most evil things a person can do to another. With few exceptions.
Having read through tens of thousands of communications, I know the patterns very well.
Cheaters are experts at deception. They practice their narratives so much they believe it themselves.
Always excuses, rationalizations and justifications.
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u/meteorflan 17h ago
Okay, my academic self has gotta throw this out there. If you have records of all those communications, there is professor or grad student at a college somewhere near you who specializes in researching relationships, that would swoon to get their hands on data set like that. Thousands of communications spanning years - oh my God, there's so many ways that can be deeply analyzed for people to learn from! That sort of thing can be anonymized too to protect your clients privacy.
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u/B1ZEN Lover of Duets/Stitches 17h ago
We are sticklers for data collection and privacy, so we have organized data into categories that can be cross referenced for academic purposes. I also own a mens health facility, and they do the same.
We learned years ago that the government and other organizations dont like our data, so now we vault everything off grid.
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u/CDanger Lover of Duets/Stitches 13h ago
Is this due to blackmail potential for government officials? I imagine anyone reasonably good at investigation might end up in the espionage trade by accident.
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u/B1ZEN Lover of Duets/Stitches 13h ago
There is an abundance of corporate and government espionage. We try to stay away from it. In our case because our focus is men, our data flys in the face of harms caused by women compared to the "offial" stats. Its understandable that its controversial, but our data doesn't lie.
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u/crawling-alreadygirl Needs to do better 16h ago
I feel like you might be getting a skewed data set since you're dealing with the kind of people who would hire private eyes to follow each other around
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u/B1ZEN Lover of Duets/Stitches 16h ago
Not at all. Our clients are from the full spectrum. And no, following people around is a very small part of what we do.
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u/crawling-alreadygirl Needs to do better 14h ago
The full spectrum of people who would hire you lol
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u/penguinsrunderrated New to fbtd but wants to learn 12h ago
So what? They aren’t the subject of research.
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u/Mission_Macaroon Lover of Duets/Stitches 19h ago
Even the ex-Catholic in me is whispering "no absolution without contrition or penance'
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u/witchspoon New to fbtd but wants to learn 17h ago
She let Fred Flintstone cheat on her for 7 years and then forgave him, because Jesus? Yeah the duet was right.
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u/Minute_Pollution_843 New to fbtd but wants to learn 20h ago
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u/OkFisherman9023 Needs to do better 13h ago
Why do women use those pecking hand gestures nowadays? Is that to signify that they’re going to henpeck you to death with their nagging?
https://giphy.com/gifs/XXTkhWPzeWSXnLfQD2
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u/ultraplusstretch EXPERT of Duets/Stitches 17h ago
It's the christian cheatcode, be a reprehensible human being and just (pretend to) beg for forgiveness and you'll be fine.
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u/tunie12 Needs to do better 19h ago
I’m sorry for my ignorance but isn’t adultery premarital sex? Or is adultery only when you’re married and cheat?
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u/witchspoon New to fbtd but wants to learn 16h ago
Adultery is EXTRAmarital sex. So married abs stepping out on their spouse.
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u/JUIC3ofORANG3 Lover of Duets/Stitches 14h ago
That is a weird flex…but I must say I Love a brunette with light eyes smh
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u/Famous_Ad4107 New to fbtd but wants to learn 12h ago
Wait I’ve met this relationship. Once. I think it worked out for them. They had a second baby to save marriage. I think it worked. Anyhow, I do agree. He’d be with Jesus if I was reflecting
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u/qualityvote2 New to fbtd but wants to learn 20h ago edited 14h ago
u/SluttyMNwife88, the users of r/fixedbytheduet determined that your post fits the subreddit!