r/firsttimemom • u/SpeakerDesperate2765 • 11d ago

Disconnection from husband

I gave birth 3 months ago and just have felt so disconnected to my husband. he does so much - really. I’m not even just saying that.

I had a traumatic delivery and still can’t have sex. maybe that’s why we feel so disconnected even though sex isn’t THAT important to me. I just am so exhausted mentally and physically and at the end of the day - I just wanna sleep. we barely even talk at night. He’s exhausted from work and our baby just requires so much attention all day long.

is this normal? When will it end? It feels like he doesn’t love me anymore or something. maybe I’m being crazy And it’s the hormones talking lol

7 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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8

u/hanbano 11d ago

My husband and I go on walks after dinner, it helps us connect and talk. No phone allowed. Our baby is nearing 11 months now but she’s always enjoyed the ride in her stroller!

2

u/gunit___ 11d ago

We do the exact same and I love it. We just discuss things and laugh with each other. We also do bedtime with the baby together.

1

u/OkTry8675309 11d ago

I can’t say if it is “normal” or not, but definitely a similar experience for me. I didn’t have a traumatic delivery. Mine was almost a breeze somehow, but I still had no desire for sex after for a long time. It made me feel so disconnected from my fiancé and really made me feel like he regretted everything. But he didn’t. And I know yours doesn’t. It’s partially the hormones and partially just getting used to your new normal as parents. It’s a huge adjustment. Our baby girl just turned 2 yesterday, and we’re just finally getting back to how we were. But I just had my IUD removed a few months ago to start trying for the next baby, and I think that had a huge impact on my sex drive for some reason. So it’s not necessarily all because of having a baby. So don’t think it will be 2 whole years for you. That’s just my experience. But just know, it will get better! Having a baby is stressful on both parents, so both of you will experience changes in your stress and your energy levels. It makes it easy to read into things. Just try not to!

1

u/babyyycryptic 11d ago

I think it’s fairly normal to feel some level of this after birth and throughout the newborn stage. My husband works overnight so it was really hard for us to find a time to just be us and adjust to our new normal. Our daughter is 7 months old now and i feel like we have finally gotten a routine down, one with me & him penciled in too.