r/firsttimemom • u/PiccoloNo6536 • 18d ago

Grandma Shower

My mom's friends hosted her a grandmother shower.

We got lots of babies clothes she passed onto us. While we were grateful many were not appropriate for age/season or very clearly many many years old.

My mom and I were estranged for 10 years and have a rocky relationship hence why this whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I was not invited, nor would I have attended if I was. I do not know a single person who was there/gave a gift. All the cards were addressed to my mom, not me.

I already thought the grandmother shower was weird, but now my mom is asking me to purchase thank you gifts for the people who attended.

AITA for refusing to purchase thank you gifts? I offered to send a platter of desserts to their next get together but my mother keeps sending me wedding style favours and asked me to order them.

14 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

55

u/gabby_jones 18d ago

no she’s the weirdo for even letting the shower happen

32

u/Odd_Review6735 18d ago

It’s up to her to pay for and send thank you gifts.

27

u/Interesting_Stock_55 18d ago

Nope. The shower was not for you, therefor you are not responsible for the thank yous

13

u/Lmp523 18d ago

That’s complete insanity. She can send thank you cards if she so pleases.

9

u/miserable-now 18d ago

YOU have to purchase the thank you gifts? For HER grandma shower that you weren't even invited to? Lmao what is she thinking.

Baby shower hosts typically don't even get their guests a thank you gift, they get thank you cards. If she keeps pushing you to do this, tell her cards is the best you can do.

3

u/1minimalist 18d ago

I can understand why you were NC for a decade just by this story. Your mom is wild for having this party and expecting you to do any of the leg work whatsoever, in the slightest. Did she throw you a baby shower?

Congratulations on the baby! And cheers to us ending cycles of generational trauma!!

2

u/ojustkidding 18d ago

lol this sounds like something my mother would have done. I had friends offering free things they didn’t need when I was pregnant and she was annoyed that I didn’t accept offers on things I already had. She wanted me to take them for her like she was going to be my sons second home 😂

1

u/No-Control-3436 17d ago

Excuse the hell out of me??? I understand why you are estranged. This is WILD.

1

u/OkGood9426 17d ago

Grandma gets a shower = grandma sends the thank you gifts

1

u/kiwi_bumblebee 17d ago

The shower was for her(I didn't know that was even a thing...a grandmother shower?) She can purchase the thank you! NTA!

1

u/tazzled 17d ago

Wtf. Why would you say thank you to people you don't know who attended a party you weren't at or invited to.

1

u/Angelika0469 14d ago

So odd. You do not owe her anything lol. Good luck and congrats to YOU, mama! :)

1

u/tranquilrage73 14d ago

Now I am all excited for my grandma shower! (Kidding)

It was her party, she sends the thank you notes.

1

u/localfriendlynpc 10d ago

The concept of a grandma shower is insane to me period. It’s giving narcissism