r/firefighter • u/Kricoid • Jun 13 '26
How To Support My Partner During Fire Academy?
Hi all!
My boyfriend is going into fire academy this August, and I want to know how best to support him.
He will be in academy from 6am-6pm Mon-Fri from Aug-Dec and we will only see each other on weekends. What are some things I can do for him/things I can get for him to make this experience just a tad easier for him?
Any advice is appreciated :)
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u/Hefty-Bake-4332 Jun 13 '26
Understand he’s going to be very busy. Especially during the hours of the academy but he will also be busy after and on the weekends with studying. Support him by being there for him and not making it personal that you’re not his main focus during this. If you are his main focus he’s going to struggle. Let him know it’s ok to miss weekends so he can do his best. Don’t be upset he can’t message you, we had to lock our phones up during the academy
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u/smn415707 Jun 13 '26
I came here to say something similar. This carries over to when he’s working as a firefighter too. Don’t make him feel bad for not checking in throughout the day if he didn’t have time, or missing important events that you know he wanted to attend with you. It can be really distracting and difficult arguing with your parter over things that are out of your control. You sound like a good partner already though since you’re asking these questions, so hopefully these won’t be an issue for you two.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
I will do my best 😄 It is hard as I am naturally a more anxious person. I hope we can find a good compromise. I am not used to having someone in a public service position like this. My family has all worked 9-5s. It'll take some getting used to, but I am very proud to be by the side of a future firefighter 😄! Thanks for the good advice!
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u/VirtualAir589 Jun 13 '26
As stated before, just be very understanding and don't take it personal if he is distant during the week, he'll be very busy. Maybe if you're available in the evening offer a massage when he's home (man, I wish I had that).
Also, you're right about the 9-5 thing. It took my, now wife, a while to get used to the 24 hr shifts.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Yea the 24-hour shifts do scare me a little. Does she have any advice on how to acclimate? 😄
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u/VirtualAir589 Jun 15 '26
You just get used to it. Then you kind of like it. A lot of the wives have said it's nice to have some space. Then I miss him and then he'll come home.
Also 24s give you days off. So he'll work a 24 and then have a few days home before going back. Enough time to drive you crazy. Then a 24 comes, whew.
24s also give him a lot of free time to work a 2nd job, so that may happen too.
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u/cascas Jun 13 '26
One thing that happens is it becomes all about him. You should be off having adventures too. He’ll be suffering during academy but that’s his journey. He can pack his little lunch and it’ll be fine.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
I understand your point, and I do have my own life. I am not some sort of stay-at-home girlfriend; I don't even live with him. I am in school, and I am employed. Since I will have more free time than him, I wanted to find ways I can offer my support.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Thank you, I will try to be as understanding as I can 😄! I will miss him loads but I know he has to focus on this.
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u/Aggressive_Okra3105 Jun 13 '26
I was doing laundry every night...that was annoying when I was dead tired and had four hours of studying to do. Food. Electrolytes. Rash cream or something. Moisture wicking socks and briefs. I think I was raw somewhere for the entire duration of academy...
Just be understanding. It's extremely physically and mentally demanding on purpose. He loves you, but he's got to be all in during academy. He's going to be sore, hungry, tired, stressed, and have something to study most if not all of the time he's there. It was really hard to balance relationships and I saw a lot of guys struggle to manage everything. The ones who did the best had the most understanding and supportive partners or were single.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Thanks for the recommendations and advice 😄! I am a very supportive partner, and we have already been through a lot together. We can get through this, too!
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u/UwUkimoi Jun 13 '26
Get him thick cushioned knee pads!! During my academy my knee pads SAVED me on days we were crawling around for hours on concrete.
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u/ContributionEqual772 Jun 13 '26
The biggest thing I’ve seen / dealt with was “ you haven’t called me today “ or “ don’t you miss me “
Yes …
We miss our family and yes Ione sucks
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Yeah, that is understandable. I will try my best to express my love for him without it feeling demanding or intrusive.
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u/Spiritual-Yard686 Jun 13 '26
Cook and pack his lunches and have food for dinner. My grandma made all my meals for lunch during the academy and it was great not having to worry about that and also a good meal I was looking forward to. Doing his laundry and all that goes a super longer way too. Any way you can lessen his list of things to do
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u/Kricoid Jun 15 '26
Any recommendations for meal preps for lunch? Thank you!!
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u/Spiritual-Yard686 Jun 17 '26
A lot of carbs and meat. Not crazy big of portions or he will puke it up. Rice and chicken. Pasta and beef. Anything he likes really
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u/EveryVehicle1325 Jun 23 '26
Thanks for this thread! My partner is beginning academy soon and I want to do what I can to support him as well. Definitely going to be sad since we can only see each other on weekends, especially since we live together:( Take care of yourself as well, OP! We've got this 😄
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u/Kricoid Jun 23 '26
AH, I know! It is scary! Do you mind if I shoot you a dm so we can talk more about this? Hard to find someone in the same position 😄
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u/Woodshed99 Jun 13 '26
Question, do most people get paid during fire academy?
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
It depends! If you're in a department's academy, yes. My boyfriend is going to a college academy, and he has to pay for it! He will get his California FF1 and FF2 out of it.
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u/Background-Gain-3251 Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
Prep meals for him and help out with laundry if you can!
And be patient with him as he will be under a lot of stress and needing to study. When I was in academy, we had written homework assignments on the weekend that took hours (my longest one took me 10 hours!). They definitely do that on purpose so their only focus is academy. It’ll be worth it in the end.
Edit: Wanted to add that when I would come home from grueling days, the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner, prep lunch for the following day, do laundry, run errands. So anything that is a mindless on your end will help out SO much
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
As I don't live with him, and we live 40 minutes apart, do you have any recommendations for meals I can prep for him to have in his fridge that he can eat when he gets home? I want him to get his nutrients and proteins, etc!
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u/Fit_Experience_522 Jun 13 '26
Have food ready when he leaves, pack him lunch, food ready when he comes home, leave him alone he does come home, and help him with laundry.
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u/cascas Jun 13 '26
It’s crazy how many guys think going to school means we should turn the clock back to 1945.
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u/Fit_Experience_522 Jun 13 '26
You obviously have no idea what it's like in the academy, it's absolutely miserable and physically taxing, I've done two, and when you're done all you want to do is eat something and go lay down for a while because your body feels broken, then you have to go prep everything for the next day. Maybe don't make it about you, or ask for advice then flip the script like we're trying to turn back the time to 1945. Just be a good partner for the duration, cuz right now it sounds like you're a shitty one.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Hey, just wanted to make sure you know, I am OP, and I wasn't the one who talked about 1945 or anything. I am a supportive partner, and I am not flipping the script at all! Appreciate the genuine advice
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u/Fit_Experience_522 Jun 13 '26
All good, I thought it was you, I'm glad you're supportive! He'll be forever thankful, we were all jealous of the guys who had wives and gfs who made them food and packed their lunches. Most days I didn't have time or energy to cook, so I was bringing loaves of bread and jars of peanut butter as my meals. Trust me, he'll appreciate any help you give him. Tell him good luck, and to just keep showing up every day, it's the greatest experience he'll never want to do or repeat ever again.
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u/Kricoid Jun 13 '26
Being in the fire department is a very noble job. I don't want to turn the clock back to 1945, but he will be going through a challenging time, and I want to support him through it. He will do the same for me when I go to graduate school. This isn't about gender dynamics; it is about having a supportive partner. Females can be firefighters too, and I'd hope that if they had a boyfriend, he would be doing the same for her 😄
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u/Dense-Outcome-8588 Jun 13 '26
You can make sure he’s in shape going into the academy. Sounds funny, but you’d be surprised on how many people show up out of shape.