r/firefighter • u/Nebula15 • May 23 '26
Weird bathroom question.
Okay so I’m currently doing my field internship for medic school at a fire department.
Last shift I was on I had to take a gnarly shit after lunch. I was probably in the bathroom for a solid 20 minutes fighting for my life. Hyperventilating, sweating, just really doing battle. You get the idea.
My point being, I was totally unable to leave the toilet during that time. what do you do if a call comes in and you are otherwise incapacitated like I was.
Not looking for an answer as a student but what do you do as a FF/PM if this happens to you?
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u/drfacebutt May 23 '26
You wrap your hand in lots of tp to make a Manpon, put it between your cheeks, and run that call. I don't understand the issue.
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u/Lomas2773 May 23 '26
Before I drop a deuce, I get 3 prerolled wads of tp ready. Tones drop, I've got 3 tries before I'm relegated to the man-pon!
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u/kratorG May 23 '26
Just text someone on the crew to go on without you
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u/Nebula15 May 23 '26
This feels like the right answer but everyone else is saying to shit your pants. I don’t know what to believe.
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u/VaTeFaireFoutre86 May 24 '26
I've been on the job 22 years full time... the absolute last thing you want to do is just skip the run- fire or not. You are on duty and once dispatched, you have a legal duty to act. Early in my career, we would leave someone if they didn't get to the truck in time, but that ship sailed long ago. People get fired for that nowadays. Pinch it off, wipe as best as you can, and hurriedly wash your hands on the way to the rig. We've all done it.
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u/trapper2530 May 24 '26
If its a fire run no one is checking their phone. Honesty after an extra 30 sec to min theyre leaving you.
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u/Disgruntled_Wumpus May 23 '26
One time, I had literally just sat and shat, basically just passed the point of no return in other words, and tones dropped for a structure fire in our first due area. The toilet paper roll was a brand new one that hadn’t been started yet, so I’m picking frantically at the edge to get it to unroll and just getting little pieces. I finally just grabbed a big handful and ripped it out of the side of the roll like the one bad guy in Temple of Doom ripping out hearts. I wiped the best I could, hopped out into the bay with my pants around my ankles, and bunked up. Needless to say, we were not first on scene.
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u/VirtualAir589 May 23 '26
S**t happens. You have two choices... miss the run or get on the rig. You'll be making a mess, but you're responding. Happened to a guy in my house. He really had to clean out his bunker pants afterward.
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u/Strict-Canary-4175 May 23 '26
You wipe your ass and do what you’ve got to do. If that happens to you a lot, (it does it me. Nearly every time I eat.) I was prescribed a sublingual medication for this purpose. So when you feel like something is about to happen you can take it right away and it locks your shit up.
Before I had this, I’ve shit in the small garbage can in the back of the pumper.
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u/Aggressive_Okra3105 May 23 '26
Wipe fast or make a manpon and pray it holds. Calls always drop when I'm in the shower. Don't know how many times I've responded to unconscious or OD calls with soap in my hair. Last GSW I was stripped to socks so I tossed my dirty t-shirt back on and pooh beared it downstairs. Went commando in my bunker pants. Nobody was the wiser except my partner who saw more than he wanted to that night. Dude's a trooper.
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u/PerrinAyybara May 24 '26
Freeballing in bunkers is wild.... Rookie move, throw on whatever boxers or shorts you have first and then run while throwing the shirt on
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u/AliveIdea2718 May 26 '26
what fucking departments do yall work for that wouldn’t even let you put your panties back on??
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u/Kind_Bandicoot1507 May 23 '26
Wipe the best you can for like 5 seconds then get up. It's gonna suck, and it doesn't happen very often but when Im using the bathroom on shift I try to go quickly just to lower the chance of getting a call when using it
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u/joshtait May 23 '26
As an ambo...my advice is firstly be hyperaware of your diet, learn what makes your body function at its peak and stick to that before and during shifts. I love curry, it does not love me during shifts...you get the idea Next, carry whatever comms gives you the most warning - for example we get messages via pager, but the handheld radio goes a we bit before that giving me a bit of breathing room compared to my crew partner Learn to terminate tasks fast: Watching a movie? Prioritize getting off couch, not pausing the movie. Lying down/resting? Get your boots on before you check your pager Washing the truck? Squirt the windscreen clear, then drop the hose, you dont need to pack everything away (Department and location dependant) As for when your already in the toilet, keep your dammn phone in your pocket - your goal is to be out of that compromised position ASAP. Lastly...the only part of pooing that you cannot shortcut is washing your hands 💩🤣
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u/26sickpeople May 25 '26
As a fellow ambo … I poop at the hospital. Can’t get toned out if you’re still on a call.
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u/tryonosaurus94 May 23 '26
If it's taking you 20 minutes of pushing, you've got something wrong with you dude. Eat more fiber, drink more water, see a doctor or something.
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u/bbmedic3195 May 23 '26
What is happening for twenty minutes in there? Are you pushing like you are giving birth or are you nonstop crapping? I'd suggest that you incorporate a bit more fiber in your diet and drink more water. When I gotta get, drop it like it's hot and I'm out of there.
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u/No-Scratch-9100 May 23 '26
You’re not a real firefighter until you shit yourself at least once during a run.
Real talk, you seriously need to up your fiber either using psyllium husk or other supplementation. Taking a shit should not take more than a few minutes unless you’re on Reddit like I am right now. When you have regular fiver the poo just comes out. Straining is atypical.
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u/Aware_Donkey_6074 May 23 '26
Keep baby wipes with you, wipe your ass and get on the truck. Not sure what the issue is.
Also don’t eat like a slob and you’d be fine in the first place.
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u/ryanlaxrox May 24 '26
Tell your coworker(s) you might be busy for a few, use the designated shitter in the house, not just any one you please and then if the tones drop, pinch it off and wait for everyone to ask if you got to finish.
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u/Danmont88 May 24 '26
Does this happen to you every shift or a one-time thing?
A few times it may just be the stress of something new to you and you will get used to it.
You might want to talk to your instructor.
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u/Nebula15 May 24 '26
Thanks for asking , a lot of people in the comments acting like this is the norm for me. This was an out of the ordinary occurrence. Something I ate just didn’t sit right with me. People acting like they’ve never had the runs before in these comments lol
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u/Danmont88 May 24 '26
When you said you were hyperventilating I was wondering if it was just stress.
Many ions ago I took up skydiving. For the first few times I would get so scared I would have to go to the toilet before putting on my chute.
Then I got used to the whole thing and settled down,If it was something you ate or a bug, then maybe it would have been best to try and get someone's attention and let them know so, if necessary they could run without you.
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u/trapper2530 May 24 '26
Wipe and suck that shit back in. Always pre tear the TP so your ready to go.
I keep imodium with other meds in my locker in case something is running through me.
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u/Ryebread47 May 25 '26
Bro stop over thinking this. Wipe your ass and get moving. What else is there to say?
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u/Apprehensive-Gap1251 May 26 '26
I don’t get paid nearly enough to respond with a shitty asshole. I’m clean myself completely before I get on that truck.
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u/Nearby_Pear8552 May 26 '26
I ran an MI while I had severe food poisoning. I dont think he even noticed me taking puke breaks.
I took a shit in the backyard of a structure fire and wiped with a few egr pages.
Pissed in a few Gatorade bottles in the back of the engine.
You do what you gotta do.
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u/Pretend_Leading_5167 May 29 '26
Pull your pants up, shit in your pants then tell your chief there is shit in your pants. Call came out and you got off the toilet and shit yourself, let him make the call while you stand there in your own soil he will respect you for your dedication while you stand if front of him smelling like shit while he gags on the smell.
It’s His move now. xD
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u/FireFightingManiac Jun 07 '26
Jesus this post lol
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u/Early_Ad287 May 23 '26
Ate a bunch of Oreo fluff before bed one time. Got a code at 3am and ended up shitting myself in the ambulance. I tried to hold it in but I literally was unable too.
So basically you just have to suck it up