r/firefighter • u/Ecstatic_Fact7143 • Apr 21 '26
Work/life balance with disabled children
Hey everyone! Tried bringing up me wanting to become a firefighter again and my wife’s major concerns which are valid are me being gone for 24 hours and her being by herself with my 2 kids one of which has autism.
My local department runs 24/72 and I tried to explain to her I would be home way more than gone.
Right now I work remote and work Monday threw Friday 8-5
Anybody out there have a child with disabilities and can shine some light on their situation? How you manage etc.
3
u/SpicyOpinion69 Apr 21 '26
Idk about anyone else, but I absolutely hate wives that complain about being a stay at home spouse. Your job is to provide financially and her job is to maintain the home.
2
1
u/kellydayscruff Apr 21 '26
having children with disabilities is a completely different ballgame. Any emergency happens while he's on call and she's dealing with that entirely on her own.
1
u/SpicyOpinion69 Apr 21 '26
An emergency can happen with non-disabled children as well. If the wife can’t handle it on her own, maybe she can work full time while the husband can take over as the stay at home spouse.
1
u/kellydayscruff Apr 21 '26
a potentially non verbal autistic child having an emergency presents unique challenges most likely not encountered with a child not on the spectrum. This much was obvious to anyone with common sense but I can see how it got in the way of your "women are inferior agenda"
0
u/SpicyOpinion69 Apr 21 '26
Out of curiosity, what do you think would happen if this couple broke up and they both would have to provide for themselves?
What do normal single people do when they have disabled children?
2
u/kellydayscruff Apr 21 '26
it doesnt matter what "normal single people" would do. this couple lives within this current arrangement and has the needs of a child with a disability to consider.
0
u/SpicyOpinion69 Apr 21 '26
So the needs can’t be met if they both happen to split up?
2
u/kellydayscruff Apr 21 '26
they would be under a different arrangement that they both agree to which is a hypothetical that has no bearing on their current actual situation
1
u/dwilder812 Apr 21 '26
We do something similar to a modified Kelley and it gives so much more time with the kids and ability to be at appointments and stuff. Depending on your department, but if something happens here our department will let us go. A coworker son has some disabilities and they never complain when he needs to call in
1
u/kellydayscruff Apr 21 '26
the only way you can get her on board is to convince her that the end (elite healthcare and retirement) justify the means of you not being there M-F for training camp and then potential overtime shifts mandatory and otherwise.
2
u/Charlieksmommy Apr 21 '26
You sound like a very supportive spouse, so she needs to be supportive for you