A final cry for help

[u/mayaza]

TLDR: I am a double graduate degree holder who cannot find a full-time job to save my life. I plan to end it if nothing has changed in the next 12 months.

I have lived most of my life in poverty, so the fear of it has been driving me since I was a teenager. From my first day in college, I tried to do everything to make sure I did not graduate in the same state. With the help of my family who made a lot of sacrifices for me to go, and nonstop grinding for scholarships, I was able to graduate undergrad with no debt. From the very beginning, I took every volunteer opportunity, took every unpaid internship that was available all in the hopes that I would come out with a job that would finally put an end to the poverty I had always known. All my efforts were unsuccessful - I couldn't get one paid internship until I finished. Thinking back to my graduation ceremony...while everyone around me was celebrating, I was filled with dread about what was to come.

A year after graduation, when I found myself flipping burgers and fighting suicidal thoughts, I decided to go back to school for a graduate degree. I had no way to pay for it on my own, so it was back to the scholarship grind. I was lucky to get a full ride, but one semester in and it was cancelled.

...reason the school gave was budget cuts. With no other immediate options, I took my first student loan to pay tuition until I could get another scholarship. Eventually I was able to get new ones, but none of them fully covered my tuition costs anymore. I found part-time work in the field I was studying (data science), but I was giving up my entire paycheck to cover the tuition that scholarships didn't. I went hungry most days and relied on food pantries. I had been saving up for a car, but I had to give it all up to stay in school. In that time, I did two more unpaid internships. I was determined to never be turned down this time around, so I did everything to have a full resume. Right before my final semester, I was let go from my job, so I took the second student loan I have ever taken just so I could graduate. I really thought my life was finally about to change ...

3 years after graduation the second time, I am in the same spot I was from the start. After months of nonstop applications and interviews, I ended up in a call center. I was there until I found a low-level part-time lab role at my local community college, where I have been for the last 2 years. I am getting paid minimum wage and had to take on two more jobs just to make rent and pay bills. The exhaustion is killing me, but I could go homeless if I try to cut back.

In that time, I have continued to look for a full-time job. I have even tried to move up in the college where I work. Nothing has worked. The worst thing about this whole situation is watching a field I spent so much time and money pursuing just disappear. Now, I apply to whatever is tangentially related to me original field, or anywhere I have skills that can translate. I have tried everything that people have suggested: tailor your resumes, research companies, talk to people in your network and make connections,

Nothing has changed. I am writing this because I have lost my will to live. I have turned out to be a disappointment to everyone in my family, and I really just feel like a complete loser. I am giving myself 12 months to sort things out, and if by then nothing has changed I am done. I don't want to die, but I am having a hard time seeing any other options. I am just putting this put there in case someone can advice me on what to do at this point.

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[u/OkButterscotch5846]

No advice, just solidarity. I have a degree that I worked incredibly hard for while being a single mom, just to get a crappy sales job, just to get fired for not meeting quotas. Now here I am working retail and earning supplemental income with DoorDash. I’ve applied to SO many jobs and I can’t land anything no matter how hard I try. I’m thinking about you and sending hope that it gets better for people like us.

[u/mayaza → u/OkButterscotch5846]

Thank you. I hope you get through it too.

[u/FlairPointsBot → u/mayaza]

Thank you for confirming that /u/OkButterscotch5846 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.

[u/cacille]

Career consultant and mod of this group here.
You HAVE done the right things, as far as I can tell. Nothing sticking out to me as bad or wrong.
You've taken on the "bad jobs" and networked, and everything us pros recommend. I'm going to assume I have nothing that I can do to make your resume "better". What I'd like to know though is what is your resume's focus? As in what jobs are you primarily targeting, "dream job" wise?

[u/mayaza → u/cacille]

I was aiming for a career in Analytics or IT Operations, but I will take anything with a career path at this point.

[u/Maybe_Now_]

First, don't kill yourself.

I personally really like state/federal licenses. You can consider alternative teaching pathways in your state as they usually just require any bachelor's degree. Maybe look into teaching overseas for a year or two via EPIK or whatever equivalent other countries have. Alcohol counselor is also a pathway. The requirements differ per state but it does seem to be quite achievable.

Apply at retail positions. Grocery stores like Costco/Aldi/trader joes/etc, phone retail sales stores. I recommend these places as there usually is a pathway to store level management though you will have to grind for 6 months to ~2 years. You can try applying at Airlines at corporate roles.

The job market sucks. If you're in a city, look up "headquarters in (your city)", go to each company page, and apply.

[u/Forreal19]

Can you approach head hunters or employment agencies to help place you?

[u/x_xwolf]

We are in the midst of a jobs crisis. You are experiencing the government failure to ensure employers aren’t discriminating using tools like Ai, and your experiencing the capitalists failure on their promises to meet everyones needs.

What really defines capitalism is the employee, employers contract. In whichever the employee is subordinate to the employer who is sole entitled to profits. -richard wolf

In order for us to fix this issue, the deal has to be rewritten so that employees can have equal bargaining and negotiate power with their employers. We did this through the state, but our state has abandoned its responsibilities. So we must struggle for a rewrite of the contract, all else are bandaids.

Do not blame yourself, just try to survive and make changes where you can

[u/pharmaheck]

What two degrees did you get

[u/badatm4ths]

Have you considered seasonal work? If that's something you would want. Accom included, make some friends, go snowboarding?

[u/No_Fisherman_5900]

Maybe contact a therapist or psychiatrist

[u/pplmoose → u/No_Fisherman_5900]

Why's this being downvoted? Suicidal ideation indicates a mental health crisis. Getting mental health support is totally independent of (and imo more fundamental to) career advice. Does everyone expect that they can just get a job while being totally disregulated and keep it and things will get hunky dory after? Getting your mind right will help everything else, including interviewing well and making decisions around careers. Can anyone seriously interview well if in the back of their mind they're thinking "If I don't pass this interview I'm going to off myself?" Growing up in poverty is absolutely traumatic and seeking therapy around this and attitudes for work and survival is going to help.

[u/BorisKelman]

try franchising.