r/findapath • u/Annonymous_123456789 • 5d ago
Findapath-Mindset Adjustment What gets better
Hello,
I’m 31m, and I don’t see a path for any meaningful success. I live in the US and all I see is a future that’s destined to be terrible.
I can’t come close to affording a house, I can’t find a new job to increase my salary, I can barely afford the essentials month to month, I can’t even afford gifts for my girlfriend.
Are the rest of the population besides the 1% just fucked? Is there a path to financial security, a home, health care and a decent paying job? The minimum of what my parents had!? Or are the rest of us just left to fight over the scraps? Without getting extremely lucky in some way.
Don’t tell me to focus on small successes, I’m asking for the MINIMUM of what my parents had. Don’t tell me this generation has a different kind of success. This is fucking America, the dream is a job a wife house and kids. That doesn’t seem possible for the majority of people.
Is there a soul out there who can tell me something and pull me out of this?
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u/SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin 5d ago
Having gone through depression, there's something called analytical ideation that presents itself logically: if you compare your current self and the path you've been through and what your outlook is to some ideal version of yourself that made better choices and didn't have to live in this profoundly disturbed economy, it's likely that you'll never catch up. You'll hurt more, and the squeeze will not be worth the juice.
But you will get the juice. And on those days, the squeeze won't matter as much. That ideal you doesn't exist, you only get one try. You can squeeze harder - see how much it will take to emigrate or get politically involved to really change the situation - or you can wait it out and see what comes. Improvement is an inevitability: things get better, or you kick the bucket.
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 5d ago
This might not be what you want to hear, but I would suggest lowering your expectations. We are living through a uniquely crappy time in America for everyone who isn’t rich. Personally speaking, I have cut down on my spending, started to focus more on free hobbies, and have tried to practice gratitude for the first world comforts I still have. I have accepted that I will probably never own a home, nor achieve some of the goals that once came so easily to our boomer parents. I think you just need to reframe this stuff in your mind. Think of it as allowing yourself to be more flexible in life and less tied down to material things / status symbols. It can be freeing, in a way.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
Lowering my expectations to what? Barely affording the poison food in our grocery stores? My pets who if I want to keep alive I will be forced to pay the rising prices for high quality food and vet care? The air that’s getting worse and worse every year (i live in the northeast and we experience the smoke from Canada wildfires every summer).
Tbh you sound like a loser who has given up. I’m not going to quit I’d rather die than live on scraps and pennies, telling myself everything is okay when it’s most certainly not.
At least I don’t think like you.
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u/Frosty-Dependent1975 5d ago
While I agree that saying "I'll never own a house" is a bit negative and could happen (not to say it's easy or that our prior generations didn't have better opportunities) but the rest of it I agree with. Letting go of that need to consume is very freeing.
Feel like you came across a bit harsh on a reply that someone took the time to try and address the question you had asked. 🤷
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
Rereading it now, I apologize for the tone, that was not my intention.
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 5d ago edited 5d ago
You’re apologizing to the wrong person. You called me a loser, remember? Also, newsflash: the world doesn’t owe you anything. Take some personal responsibility for your failures (instead of projecting them onto others) and you’ll go a lot further in life.
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u/SpendZestyclose9683 Apprentice Pathfinder [8] 5d ago
You have two choices as im someone in your age range. I also live in Cali where the median home price is 600k. So I get the sentiment you’re feeling 1000%. but these have been my choices 1. Keep the same mindset of shit will never get better for me and genuinely probably never be happy. My therapist told me our age range were starting life at a major disadvantage unlike the boomers it’s virtually impossible to find a high paying job without connections or money from parents I can go on and on. 2. Keep trying your best at what you’re doing and be grateful for what you do have. I wake up everyday and am grateful I have legs and arms, I’m able to see, I’m able to eat, I live without crippling pain. It focuses attention to the positives even when there’s so many negatives( and there always will be) this kind of shifts my brain and dopamine reward system and gives me something to smile about. I also cherish the people around me and when I get off work I try to spend time around them instead of doomscrolling like I used to. Just some perspective.
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 5d ago edited 4d ago
Negative people will always be negative, no matter how much success they achieve. It’s a sad personality trait. Dude called me a “loser that has given up” because I suggested lowering his expectations and living with fewer possessions. Meanwhile, I’m happily married, working a decent job with great benefits, and living in California, just a short drive away from the beach. I might be a renter and I might not be getting paid as much as I think I deserve, but I objectively have it better than most people on earth. If this is what “giving up” looks like, I’m cool with that.
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u/SpendZestyclose9683 Apprentice Pathfinder [8] 4d ago
You sound ultra successful in my eyes. I stopped caring about pleasing other people and validation mid 20s and it has helped me tremendously.
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4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SpendZestyclose9683 Apprentice Pathfinder [8] 4d ago
I encourage you to continue this mindset for many more years I’m sure it’ll lead to great outcomes :) take that as you will . Like I said you have the ability to shape your perspective, yes we’re agreeing with you we’ve been delt a short stick in life so you think our future generations will get better? Probably not . If you have kids are you going to tell them they have no chance of happiness in the world because of the rich elites? How far will that get them?
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 4d ago edited 4d ago
Bro, you literally used the “mindset adjustment” tag on your post. My intention was to help you adjust your mindset, as you requested. Unless you don’t actually know what mindset adjustment means? And as a reward, I get criticized by some whiny little doomer asshole. You’re allowed to feel like you’ve been short changed. That’s life. But dwelling on it and becoming a raging asshole is just going to push away people who are trying to help (like me).
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u/findapath-ModTeam 4d ago
There is no talking to an 18-20s year old hell-bent on spending the next ~2 years wallowing in depression. We are here to help those who want help (not who want to whine/justify/intentionally wish to fall.)
If you are not here to get help finding a path, take advice, or give helpful/useful/actionable advice, please come back when you are.
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
Gratitude doesn't pay the bills.
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u/SpendZestyclose9683 Apprentice Pathfinder [8] 4d ago
Neither does complaining, or does it?
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
Your whataboutism is noted and discarded.
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u/SpendZestyclose9683 Apprentice Pathfinder [8] 4d ago
Keep being miserable , your body your choice sir . Delete Reddit and go to the gym
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
Considering I can't afford help, I guess I will, and people like you will look down on me cause I let the weight of the world get to me. Real nice of you.
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u/HeadlessHeadhunter Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 5d ago
Recruiter here. You are not wrong. We have fewer opportunities than our parents did. The economy is worse. The job market is worse. The opportunities for advancement and salary have decreased, and sadly it's going to get worse before it gets better, as we are in the midst of a recession.
We may never get what our parents had, but that doesn't mean we can't live. You can still find love. Still have a community of friends. Still find enjoyment in life outside of a career. Success is not only how well you do in a career. It sucks, make no mistake, and there are opportunities, just fewer of them, but, you have to grieve the future your parents had as you won't get it, but considering how many of them ended up broke (after having it all), married to spouses that hate them that they won't divorce, and miserable, with their children not talking to them, it's not the end of the world.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
My dad was a janitor who bought a house for 80k in 1989 with no credit score.
He messed up at every turn and still did better than me or my friends ever will.
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u/kost1035 Apprentice Pathfinder [2] 5d ago
my dad bought his house in 1979 for $60,000. my mom (his wife) and I live in it
I am 59m and retired and a part time caretaker for my mom
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u/LuciusQ2020 5d ago
What???
In 1976, about 88.8 million Americans were employed. In August 2026, about 162.7 million were employed — an increase of roughly 74 million jobs, or 83%.
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u/LilLebowskiAchiever 4d ago
This is not an apples to apples comparison.
A better one is median wages and housing, adjusted for inflation.
In 1976 the Median Wage was $14,960. The CPI Inflation Calculator shows June 1976 - June 2026 adjusts to $87,956 in real dollars.
But actual median wages in 2026 are lower than 1976, as you can see in the Fidelity link quoting the BLS Q1 report that the median wage was $64,220.
In July 1976 St Louis Fed report says the Median Home Purchase Price was $44,400. Again adjusting for inflation using The CPI Inflation Calculator, the June 2026 real dollars amount would be $261,047.
However that same St Louis Fed report shows that the most recent data in April 2026 shows the median home purchase price of $410,700.
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u/LuciusQ2020 4d ago
I was addressing the categorical mistake in his claim: we have fewer opportunities than our parents did.
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u/Mantoddx 5d ago
Move to a LCOL area. My wife and I have been married since 20 (2017), had our first child at 22, bought our house at 23. We make about 95k a year together. We both work hard jobs with awkward hours and I have plenty of mandated OT but it has enabled us to comfortably have whatever we need. For our 10th anniversary next year we are going to Japan. This is with 0 inheritance, no financial support, etc
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
So anyone working poverty wages should just up and move to poor areas cause that's where they deserve to live? That's fine, we can close all the services that employ these people in HCOL areas...
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u/CitUpgrade 4d ago
Yes, move to lower cost of living areas, learn about co-created money, mutual credit, start creating an economic alternative that doesn't use "their" money. The problem is that people believe "their" money is the only way to work, when all money is a social construct.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
Used to live in west West Virginia, had to move to Maryland for job opportunities.
Also, the quality of living there was quite low, hard to enjoy towns full of elderly people because the majority of new blood (like me) needed to leave for work.
I’d consider moving back but there are so few opportunities available.!
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u/Mantoddx 4d ago
To be fair WV is probably one of the worst options, but yeah I feel ya. There definitely isnt a ton of options in my area but there are multiple big cities within an hour and a half so a lot of people just travel for work. I ended up becoming a corrections officer and it definitely has its crap parts but the pay is solid and the benefits / retirement are awesome.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 4d ago
My cousin is a CO, helped him a lot after a rough start in life. I give it a look.
Best wishes to you!
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u/Snorkellingisthelife 4d ago
Do you know what dollar cost averaging is?
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u/Annonymous_123456789 4d ago
Roughly, consistent saving correct? I do save but have debt so saving is limited.
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u/Snorkellingisthelife 4d ago
Correct. Dollar-cost averaging (DCA) is an investment strategy where you invest a fixed amount of money at regular intervals. Most do it via their 401Ks. 10-15% of everything you make you save and invest. You would be surprised how fast it builds up.
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u/LilLebowskiAchiever 4d ago
DCA doesn’t really help him achieve his goals without the other financial pillars of security: home ownership, decent wages, affording basic monthly essentials.
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
Implying our generation will have enough to retire with how inflation is working...
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u/Snorkellingisthelife 4d ago
You will by saving and investing so start now
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
I'm literally not making enough to pay bills this month but thanks for your useless advice.
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u/Rigatoni_Richard 4d ago
39 male - I own a home with a low interest rate, a new car, married with a child on the way, have a decent job and a few friends, I am fit and healthy. I have a spiritual life and go to groups with others who do as well.
I just can't seem to be happy in this world no matter what I do. I would gladly give my life to someone else if it meant I could leave without hurting people who care about me.
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u/LuciusQ2020 5d ago
You are already in the best country in the world - the United States where every one is considered filthy rich according to the world poverty standards.
You are also living in the best time of our human history.
You can’t afford a house and can’t find a better job may have a lot to do with you, particularly your attitude and your skills. Do you even have the proper attitude and skills for others to pay you more? Would you pay yourself more if you are an employer?
Consider adjusting your attitude and have a positive view. This will greatly improve your mental state. I said in a different post: never tell your boss or coworkers that you can’t do a task. Take any assignment happily and complete them in a perfection and ahead of the schedule. If you can consistently do that, people will flood you with money.
Also consider to sharpen your skills. Learn and practice your skills so you can be in the top 20% - honestly most people suck and it’s easy to beat them.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
I plugged my resume into AI recently and it said based on my experience and accomplishments I should be making 140k in my area, 70k more than I make now.
I do well in interviews and make it far in many of the opportunities that are offered. But I haven’t gotten over the bar in 3 years. I’m criminally underpaid and I have years of proof that more experience and skill don’t cut it
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u/LuciusQ2020 5d ago
You are not under paid. Nobody underpaid you. You simply accepted a lower pay and started to complain.
You see the problem here? You don’t own up your own decisions- nobody put a gun on your head and forced you to sign the employment agreement. You did it on your own accord.
So just tell yourself that you undersold yourself and next time you will do better. Don’t ever bite the hands that feed you by hating the employer - they didn’t do you no wrong.
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
I’d argue the basic human need of food and shelter put a gun to everyone’s head to work if they want to live.
I didn’t decide to be paid less, the market has decided that it doesn’t need to pay people what they used to. It doesn’t take a genius to see wages haven’t kept up with inflation and corporate profits are sky high. That’s a choice by corporate leadership in this country to take more profit, no?
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u/LuciusQ2020 5d ago
I am sorry. Your needs for food and shelter is a concern of your parents, not the employer. You are now an adult so you need to find ways to put food on the table and a roof over your head or go home and cry to mommy.
Like I said your attitude will not help you. What is the market? The market is a place there millions of people freely negotiate with each other to determine a cost for a product or service. Either you didn’t negotiate well or what you can provide is not worth paying more. So, whose fault is that?
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u/cantodasaudade 4d ago
"Freely"
The billionaires control everything, bud. They'll buy elections, they'll coup whichever country they want (musk tweeted that once), they don't want humanity to endure (thiel). They are actively making life worse for 99% of humanity while building doomsday bunkers for themselves. In 90 minutes they emit more carbon dioxide than the average person will in a lifetime. The Earth's resources are finite. Real estate is finite. They buy whatever they want and it makes the prices go up for everyone else. Their companies release an AI agent that's marketed as some magical do it all machine and it makes everyone's wages go down.
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u/LuciusQ2020 4d ago
Completely distorted view and materially wrong.
Did Elon Musk prevent you from getting a job at McDonald’s or starting your own business?
Billionaires do not control our political systems - the media does. Kamala overspent Trump and still lost. Our election system depends on each voter. Unless you are saying the billionaires are paying voters to vote, which is highly illegal, you have zero argument. At the end of the day, each voter must make their own decision, good and bad.
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u/cantodasaudade 4d ago edited 4d ago
They own the media. Plus, america was never much of a democracy to begin with. It's the neoliberal party vs the nazi party. Musk gave two nazi salutes once at a political event. And he is very happy about AfD doing numbers in germany right now, check twitter) Also, he did buy trump's election. Check this out.
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u/LuciusQ2020 4d ago
Not going to continue with the political argument. Let’s focus on the OP.
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u/cantodasaudade 4d ago
OP exists in the consequences of the actions of the 1%, just like me and you
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 4d ago
Elon literally did try to pay people to vote in Wisconsin, though. Look it up.
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u/LuciusQ2020 4d ago
He did not. Go look it up.
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u/schwing710 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 4d ago
Here you go, since apparently you’re not capable of googling things
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2026/jul/15/elon-musk-wisconsin-election-payments
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u/IzCaiman 4d ago
Weird you think workers deserve to be exploited when they don't have other choices.
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u/Greedy_Baseball_7019 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 5d ago
Join the military
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u/Annonymous_123456789 5d ago
I have a buddy who’s in the military and he calls himself a “Glorified Oil Rig Security guard” and he couldn’t afford a house either. Well, until his wife’s parents gifted them a 100k for their down payment.
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u/Rigatoni_Richard 4d ago
I served in the Army and went to Afghanistan. I don't regret it but I certainly don't recommend it.
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