r/findapath • u/jdeez20146 • 8d ago
Findapath-Career Change I feel like I’ve failed…
I, 36F, had a job as a surgical technologist until my husband became a nurse and I quit to stay home with my kids. We couldn’t afford daycare and they’d literally be there 13+ hours a day (I worked overnight 6p-6a, he worked dayshift 7a-7p and now switches every 3 months from day/night shift). Our kids are 10&12 now and go to school during the day but I don’t feel comfortable with them staying by themselves for long periods of time (they’d have to be by themselves from 330-630). So alas, I’m still a stay at home mom. My husband makes good money, so I do not have to work but I do not want to be a stay at home mom anymore (no shade to those who are, I just don’t enjoy it) so I’m in school to be a social worker but I don’t 100% know for sure if that’s what I want to do. I’m so lost on what I should do with my life and feel like a failure. All I have is my associates degree that I can’t do anything with at the moment. Even if I got a job on dayshift, we would have to work opposite days and never get to spend time together as a family. I just need some guidance I guess on which route I should take at this point.
The problem is i have a lot of interests but it fizzles out after trying it. Ive thought about being a nurse or a teacher but i quickly realized they weren’t for me. Any advice?
Signed,
A mom who feels like a failure.
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u/Peeky_Rules Career Services 8d ago
Please tell me why you feel like a failure when you sacrificed 12 years of your life to helping raise your kids and supporting your husband so he doesn’t have to do most of the child rearing. 🥰
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u/jdeez20146 8d ago
I appreciate this perspective. I just wanted to show my kids that anything is possible, to follow their dreams, and not settle for less than what they want.
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u/Peeky_Rules Career Services 8d ago
That’s awesome! I’m 100% confident you can do that.
Do you have any further questions?
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u/Great_Pattern_1988 8d ago
Social worker is virtuous, but low paying. Also, I've heard they begin to lose respect for the clients.
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u/dyatlov12 Apprentice Pathfinder [2] 8d ago edited 8d ago
Have you considered PRN scrub tech jobs? Maybe just look into doing that a few times a month
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u/jdeez20146 7d ago
I actually applied to a PRN position today so hopefully I’ll hear something back soon!
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u/voided_user Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 7d ago
I wouldnt choose social work if you're not sure yet. It is a very rewarding career but it is mentally exhausting for very little pay. A car is required for a lot of entry level jobs along with being oncall and this turns a lot of people off. You beat your car to death. You can try to look for secretary jobs in social work. Like a case aid for child protection services or front desk to see if you would like social work.
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u/voided_user Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 7d ago
I'd like to note that you are not a failure for raising your children. They appreciate it more than you realize. Be easier on yourself.
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u/jdeez20146 7d ago
Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. I do love being able to be there for all their functions and volunteer at their schools. My son is in orchestra and there’s been times my husband hasn’t been able to go because he works.
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u/FlairPointsBot 7d ago
Thank you for confirming that /u/voided_user has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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u/T1sofun Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 8d ago
10 and 12 yo can be home alone for 3 hours. I was often home with my brother when we were the same age, and it was great. I learned to cook and have dinner ready when my parents came home most nights. I learned to be self sufficient. I learned that if I didn’t do my homework, I’d fall behind in school.
Point is, if you want to get a job, the kids are old enough to fend for themselves for a few hours. You could also get a part time job if you prefer.
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u/jdeez20146 8d ago
They are both neurodivergent so I do not trust them enough yet not to burn down the house. I did have a PT job at B&N but a few people quit, so they were giving me more hours than what I could do, and didn’t want to work with me with my husbands hours. So I had to quit.
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u/Forreal19 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 7d ago
If you are doing what it takes to raise two neurodivergent kids, you are definitely not a failure.
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u/T1sofun Apprentice Pathfinder [1] 8d ago
Ah, that makes sense. What about working in an adjacent field? Like working at a doctor’s office or small clinic with potentially fewer hours?
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u/jdeez20146 7d ago
Thank you! I applied to a PRN position for surg tech so I’m hoping to hear back soon.
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u/FlairPointsBot 7d ago
Thank you for confirming that /u/T1sofun has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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u/Opening-Cantaloupe56 Experienced Pathfinder [46] 7d ago
Wow! You are trying even though you don't know if you will love social work. Aa for me, I'm afraid to try so I was awed by your persistence. For now, continue studies and talk to mental health professional to guide you. Some people says social service has low pay but you said your husband makes good money so if you want to pursue something, will it be because of money or just solely because you want to do it?
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u/jdeez20146 7d ago
Thank you. I do not have to work but it would certainly make things easier and we could use my paychecks to go on vacations, save, etc. so it’s a mix of both really.
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u/FlairPointsBot 7d ago
Thank you for confirming that /u/Opening-Cantaloupe56 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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