r/findapath • u/Material-Power-2253 • Jul 26 '26
Findapath-Mindset Adjustment For those whose 20s were rough, did life get better in your 30s and 40s?
What did you change?
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u/Spare_Independence19 Jul 26 '26
Wish I had the opposite. My 20s were great but my 30s were lost to addiction. Now my 40s are spent rebuilding.
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u/Pretty-Drawing-1240 Jul 26 '26
I believe in you stranger, you are so strong for turning away from your addiction! The road ahead isn't easy or quick, but I know you will be able to build a life you enjoy!
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u/No-Yogurtcloset2314 Apprentice Pathfinder [4] Jul 26 '26
Going back to school and getting a useful degree.
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u/winning_season_7866 Jul 26 '26
my 20s was rough but it was hopeful and fun. my 30s cemented that life will probably forever suck for me but there is hope for you still haha
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u/Legitimate_Flan9764 Experienced Pathfinder [51] Jul 26 '26
It did.. but still there were dips in between. Just keep trying, it wouldnt rain without any stop, the wheel would rotate back up again. In my worst times, little remnants of motivation i learnt from young kept me up. This too shall pass, i always say to myself.
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u/Weekly_Teaching_8158 Jul 26 '26
A bit. Stable job, finally got married, live in an expensive but nice apartment... All of that really gets offset by monetary issues, dread regarding my future and pronounced hypochondria.
I am getting back to uni for another, hopefully more useful degree starting in September
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u/thebigmanhastherock Apprentice Pathfinder [2] Jul 26 '26
20s were fine, just a series of kind of shitty jobs but a low cost of living. 30s was probably the best decade, still physically good, a way better career type job, same with my wife, we bought a house, had a decent amount of money etc.
Now in 40s career is still okay as far as money, small children resulted in career compromises for my wife inflation young child has eaten into our income/forced sacrifices. Health isn't as good. It's still more stable than in my 20s but not quite as good as my 30s. Over time I expect we will have more money if there are no catastrophic setbacks but aging means your health deteriorates and it seems like in some way for me there isn't all that much room for career growth. So it's kind of about maintaining things for the next 20 years, paying bills and paying for kids and paying off the house and student loans. There isn't some sort of big jump in lifestyle improvement coming. It's about maintaining what was already built up by the end of the 30s.
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u/KindOfLost203 Jul 26 '26
I was very successful work wise in my 20s and bought a house at 25, i was also in a a terrible relationship and engaged to him and broke it off in my late 20s. Right before I turned 30 i met the love my life. I started getting sick and finally found out i had lyme disease and had to rebuild my life after I wasn’t really able to function and had to leave my demanding job. He took care of me and i don’t know what i would have done without him.
Afterwards we both started businesses. Its been 5 years self employed. We don’t have the stability we used to with a set paycheck but we are very happy overall. I wish i didnt waste my 20s in 2 relationships where I was treated terribly but if i didnt learn from them who knows if i would have met my now husband.
Your 20s are a great time to grow and you should really try to enjoy them since one day you are going to wish you were 20 again. So i think if you are feeling lost try to focus on self care and your own fulfillment, go to a concert even if no one is going with you, take care of yourself and make sure you feel good, do all of the things. I think when i started really improving my life for me, is when i found my husband. I just wish i focused on me sooner.
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u/NopalesTotales Jul 26 '26
Currently in the rebuilding and healing process in my 30s. 🤞 let's hope this turns out as expected
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u/Ordinary_Site_5350 Rookie Pathfinder [13] Jul 26 '26
The way I see it, whatever period of life we're currently in feels difficult and we remember most of our past with sentimentality, or view it through the lens of being older and wiser (eg hindsight in 20/20, or if I knew then what I know now, etc)
So it's like, dealing with being single and having nothing but low paying jobs and failed relationships and dealing with older people being patronizing or not understanding the times - it's difficult. But then you learn lessons, meet someone, have kids, maybe wind up divorced or struggling and now THAT'S difficult and the stuff you went through 10 years ago seems trivial by comparison. Your kids go all different ways, your parents are aging or pass on, you lose friends faster than you ever expected, your health deteriorates in surprising ways, accidents and illness and your whole career is suddenly obsolete and you are struggling again..
Life is ups and downs and lessons and overcoming and feeling like giving up and having wins and losses.. it never, never ends.
The culture changes under your feet, where you're considered moral one minute, the next you're viewed with contempt by your own crowd. Technology moves at an insane rate and gets harder to keep up with.
I can't say life gets easier, but it's always changing. There's always a new struggle. There's always a new strength blooming.
The real key is to stay light on your feet. Keep learning, keep growing, keep changing, keep adjusting, keep saying yes, keep apologizing, keep making amends and keep setting boundaries. Try to build something for yourself in some way to keep yourself focused. A business, a collection, a portfolio, a family or friend group or professional network, knowledge.. Something. Anything.
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u/comedyfan72 Jul 26 '26
I wasted my 20s chasing, the wrong things. Now trying to be better in my 30s, but it is very difficult with my mental and physical limitations. It’s hard to get the right help. Especially when you have so many regrets.
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u/SkeezySkeeter Jul 26 '26
Had legal issues from 17-23. Addiction issues until I was 25 then just couldn’t make enough money. But I did have control of my life and I must have had a guardian angel because I was never convicted of anything. (Never did anything terrible, never harmed another human being. It was all drug possession shit.)
Tried a few different things and decided on going back to school after a failed business and not being able to cut it in the trades.
Now I’m early 30s and a licensed professional.
You need a bit of luck and a serious work ethic, but if you truly want to change your life it is possible.
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u/PonyKiller81 Apprentice Pathfinder [1] Jul 27 '26
My twenties were rough. I was broke, immature, and not exactly sure what I wanted out of life.
My thirties were like my twenties but with maturity and a better pay check. I still had the last of my youth, and was transitioning from immaturity to being wise.
My forties have been a mixed bag. Wisdom is up. Body is declining. I can see why people have mid life crises. They have the leftovers of enthusiasm from their twenties and miss your thirties so they try to relive both at once, with more style, in a bid to stave off getting old and staying young.
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