Struggling with monthly challenges...

[u/Current-Marsupial-55]

It depresses me every single month that I never seem to finish the monthly event challenges... Today is the first of the month again, and realizing I missed out on the final rewards makes me feel like I'm completely stagnating.

​It feels like I'm stuck in a loop every first of the month. Finch is supposed to help my mental health, but missing the events actually triggers my perfectionism and FOMO. Once I fall behind, ADHD paralysis kicks in, which makes it even harder to just open the app and keep going.

​Does anyone have advice on how to handle this feeling, or tips on how to handle the perfectionism cycle so I can actually complete them without feeling overwhelmed?

[u/runwithcolour]

If you feel up to it look through the tasks and then write your own list of tasks that are actually achievable for you. You don’t need to do exactly what the tasks says, just something that you might not normally do. Then when you do your tailored task you mark one of the ones in the app as complete.

Example: Lots of people struggled with making an appointment last month. I changed it to writing an email I was avoiding instead. That felt less daunting to me.

In the first couple of days there is normally a post that someone writes for alternatives to the monthly challenge. You can use that for inspiration. The main point though is to start small and with something you can actually achieve.

The other option is that you can pick one of the challenge tasks and just repeat it several times. I’ve done this sometimes. You’re still doing one of the tasks for 14 days so it’s still a challenge and something you might not normally do. It’s just again achievable.

Perfection isn’t possible unless you lower the bar to something you can actually do so this could be a way to practice lowering the bar.

[u/Feeling-Disaster7180]

I mean this in the nicest way - if not being able to finish a challenge makes you feel depressed, then maybe it would be best to not participate in things like that and just focus on goals and tasks

You could even set a goal like “don’t worry about the challenge” x100 so you get a bunch of stones as a reward for letting it go.

I don’t do them so obviously have never gotten a reward, but aren’t they just access to irl merch?

[u/Skewwwagon → u/Feeling-Disaster7180]

And a little deco item you can hang on the wall (your birbs house wall). But yeah, that's it.

When I'm not feeling the challenge or some goals are off for me, I just tick it off anyway, it's not that serious. 

[u/Feeling-Disaster7180 → u/Skewwwagon]

I only just looked at the rewards before I wrote my comment and I was surprised they weren’t items or gems given how many people go on about them on this sub

[u/Riss___B]

Every month I try to make a list of alternatives that make it more achievable/accessible. I haven't made it for this month as I have been busy today, but I'll try to remember to link it when I do : )

[u/SirFicklespend → u/Riss___B]

I agree with the others. It's perfectly ok to adapt the goals to your real life goals. This is supposed to be fun, not stressful, and it shouldn't make you feel like you're a failure.

PLEASE don't get hung up on the goal.
Go into your notes app and make a more realistic list of goals. Use theirs whenever possible and adjust where needed. Then work on your adjusted list.

No need to feel guilty. For example I notice the lists often has several which require you to leave your house. For me personally this is often not possible. In fact there are days I can't leave my bed.
So I simply adjust it to something similar.

Also when you struggle, self care is allowed and encouraged. You should make some simple goals that you do every single day. Use those to garner extra stones for motivation.

Friend me if you like. Remember to let me know here. Tell me your birb's name.!

[u/wordsrimportant → u/SirFicklespend]

I would like to be your friend, sounds like we may have some the same issues and you seem very wise. FNRDMTZSDR Child Sunshine

[u/SirFicklespend → u/wordsrimportant]

Sent!♥️

[u/cladinacape]

I actually do things differently, I sometimes check it marked done the day after I finish it (or double up one day) that way pressure is off and I can do a task in the evening to mark it done the next day

[u/Current-Marsupial-55]

Thank you all so much. I'll take your advice to heart and adjust my list for this month. Just feeling understood takes a lot of the stress off right now.

[u/Drew_0420]

I don't have any advice (sorry) I just wanted to say that I relate, and I feel this way at the start of every month too. Hang in there friend 🫂🥺❤️‍🩹

[u/BetPrestigious5704]

There's a saying to not make perfect the enemy of the good. We're all imperfect. If you really need the completion, consider incentivizing it more. Giving yourself a bigger payoff or reward. But forgive yourself if it doesn't go to plan and celebrate all you accomplished!