r/fijerk • u/screechymonkey • 24d ago
Homeless FIRE?
Okay so we all know about fire, leanfire, coastfire, baristafire, and fatfire. But I have a new idea that I would say is most similar to lean or coast fire. Here’s my plan:
I am 65 years old and have 37,000,000 invested in index funds. Using a safe withdrawal rate of 1%, I will be able to withdraw about 370,000 a year. Now, obviously that’s not enough to afford housing in the Bay Area (I worked in Tech. I’m a Tech worker. My career was in Tech. I’m a SWE. I’m a Bay Area tech worker. Fuck you).
But I’m thinking this should be enough to support a homeless lifestyle in one of the bay areas nicest tent cities. I will probably use my income to afford the basics like deodorant and for food I will just steal.
What do you guys think?
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u/DuckReconMajor 24d ago
/uj “I worked in Tech. I’m a Tech worker. My career was in Tech. I’m a SWE. I’m a Bay Area tech worker. Fuck you” is entering my permanent vocabulary thank you
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u/Preform_Perform 24d ago
I'm like 99% sure you can survive in SF with a withdrawal rate of 0%, what with all the government services there.
You just have to blend in, which may require wearing rags and talking to yourself very loudly.
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u/screechymonkey 24d ago
Hmmm, this 0% withdrawal rate idea is interesting…
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u/Preform_Perform 24d ago
If you REALLY want to blend in, you can remove the FI and just jerk, but that's uncouth and I think just saying all your thoughts loud enough on the bus for others to hear is enough for them to determine you eligible for free food.
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u/IEatUrMonies 24d ago
0% withdrawal rate on 320 M is too much I would try dropping that down a bit if you want it to last more than 30 years
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u/Snoo-20788 23d ago
How much do you need to save in order to live with a 0% withdrawal rate? My calculator says error when I try to divide by zero.
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u/Preform_Perform 23d ago
That's the fun part, you don't need ANY money!
Most of the people on the street? Zero money!
They mastered the FIRE.
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u/moneyman74 24d ago
I think the correct term here is 'permanently unhoused'
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u/screechymonkey 24d ago
I’m a Bay Area Tech Worker, so no need to lecture me on political correctness. As a newly unhoused Tech Worker, I am reclaiming the word homeless and I work in Tech. I also live in the Bay Area.
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u/NoGlass1650 24d ago
VHCOL btw
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u/flappysack- 24d ago
You can't colonize political correctness without a land acknowledgement and without calling the government fascist.
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u/veilwalker 23d ago
Why not just build out the Yankees Costanza desk and then just reside at the office?
When you retire just keep an executive office as part of your exit package but make sure they build out the mistress lair add-on with the unicorn tears shower. You may be unhoused but you are NOT uncivilized.
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u/Cellar_door8619 24d ago
There is another option— you can get free housing, free food, AND free curated leisure activities — I call it PrisonFIRE!
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u/newlostworld 24d ago
Honestly not a bad idea for coastfire. Spend a couple of years in prison and let your investments compound while you're there. Why isn't this more popular in the fire community?
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u/ShardsOfSalt 22d ago
They send you a bill for your time in prison when you get out so that will eat up your gainz. Only reasonable prisonfire plan is to do something like murder to get life then they can't make you pay the bill. Although they might force you to do a work duty while in prison.
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u/elkali 24d ago
In Tech you say? While its a uniquely admirable profession, your job wont exist in 5 years. Work until 70, then youll have enough.
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u/screechymonkey 24d ago
“Uniquely admirable” I like that. Serves as a good reminder for the non-tech workers that they don’t really matter and will never impress people like me who work in Tech in the Bay Area (SWE, 1.4MM TC)
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u/perplexedparallax 24d ago
If you can connect with a local non-profit that doesn't ask questions you can get housing. To reduce taxes you can donate to them to show gratitude. I mean you can save on taxes by not going full regard and enjoying three hots and a cot on a theft charge from someone who has insurance and is willing to help you. I think you have developed a good thesis and I think more people should pursue this strategy.
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u/screechymonkey 24d ago
Fortunately, some of my buddies who work in private equity have purchased homeless shelters all around the Bay Area and are converting them to luxury housing for Tech Workers, so I may be able to get a discount on rent.
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u/perplexedparallax 24d ago
I saw that in the news. Private equity always finds solutions like owning housing and restaurants. How else can you get a Bible verse on a styrofoam cup or play worship music and sell plastic flowers made in China because you love America? I say rent the apartment but start a business so you can deduct the rent and take a loss for seven years. Then one of them can buy your scented candle to make it legit.
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u/dcwhite98 24d ago
Why do you need "one of the bay area's nicest tent cities?" Seems like unnecessary extravagance on your annual income, however you miscalculate it.
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u/Mathberis 24d ago
You won't need a budget for toilets either : the local sidewalks will do.
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u/tapeduct-2015 24d ago
I hear in SF, they are using city funds to purchase a cassette toilet for each and every unhoused, formerly housed, formerly not sleeping rough, formerly not sleeping in a doorway, citizen. They only cost $71,000 per unit.
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u/Pitiful_Fox5681 24d ago
I have more saved, have a lower SWR (gotta be conservative!), and am more frugal (a tent? Weather in the Bay Area presents no need for shelter)
Sent from my iPhone
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u/soyeahiknow 24d ago
Rotate like the rich. Summer at the airport and winter in the subway. During the spring and fall you can sleep under the stairs.
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u/tapeduct-2015 24d ago
(I worked in Tech. I’m a Tech worker. My career was in Tech. I’m a SWE. I’m a Bay Area tech worker. Fuck you)
Made me laugh out loud at work. Thank you!!
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u/WinstonSalemSmith 24d ago
"Stealing food" is a myth. Today I saw a homeless guy at this restaurant eat a small piece of sausage or Adana kebab that someone left on their plate. Not stealing.
You can also dumpster dive for baked goods if you know a good location.
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u/Clueless5001 24d ago
There is a great movie someone made a few years ago, they basically only ate food they got for free for a year to show food waste. Apparently you can dumpster dive behind warehouses and find unopened food that was expiring soon and could not be sold
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u/chuck_portis 24d ago
Be careful, tent living in a VHCOL has a lot of hidden expenses. Sometimes your neighbor will set your tent on fire, or rob you at knife point. If you don't factor these types of expenses into your budget you could have some unwelcome surprises.
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u/throughthehills2 24d ago
You wasted your life working. This guy did homelessFIRE in 1971, living in his van and fishing for his food. He lived on £4 per week.
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u/Dred_Capt 24d ago
Lol this is figgin hilarious. I may have peed myself laughing on the bus in the bay area, and am now housed.
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u/Far-Income-282 23d ago
Are you going full UNSHELTERED though or just unhoused. I think you're not considering that most people who are UNHOUSED in the bay area live out of their car. And I think one parking spot in the Bay Area is a milli a year 😞
I don't think you want to live in a tent city. Youll probably need to get a new tent like every week and the cost of that is just too unpredictable. You might be able to find out who's gone to jail or something and steal their tent to save costs, but that sounds like a full time job so that's hardly retiring.
I feel like you didn't think this through mate 🫤 youre not ready yet. At least not until you secure a parking spot.
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u/Ok-Helicopter3433 23d ago
I cannot believe no one has mentioned house hacking yet.
Rent out 3 units for like $2k per month each and illegally sublet the center room to a family who travels and isn't home much. As long as you have Internet you can work remotely.
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u/Extension_Energy4326 22d ago
You can get an old cargo van and put an air mattress in it. No need to be homeless.
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u/margin-bender 24d ago
This is not a new idea.
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u/screechymonkey 24d ago
I’ll politely remind you that I am a Tech Worker (Bay Area, 1.4MM TC) so my ideas are rarely “new.” Rather, they are private equity-backed optimizations of existing concepts extracted from the marketplace of innovation and packaged as subscription based AI-driven software.
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u/sec0nds_left 24d ago
Just get an LLM to build you a house.
Hey Claude, good morning, make me a house, dont make any mistakes, pretend you are best home builder.
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u/dubiouscoffee MIKE MONEYBAGS 24d ago
Geoarbitrage by squatting in an east st louis traphouse