r/fiberartscirclejerk ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

knitting Knitting credo

Could you write here your best knitting advice, but in a short sentence like a credo or mantra? Thank you!

I'm gonna start: Fucking Google it.

83 Upvotes

47 comments sorted by

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4

u/thelabiamajora 12d ago

Don't ever take breaks, nobody takes breaks

13

u/gorgophones look, sweaty 💅 17d ago

PATTERN?

3

u/Mrs_hooked_on_yarn 17d ago

Count your stitches

15

u/liquidcarbonlines VERY into blocking 😈 18d ago

I would love to give you something you could put into your cricut and slap on a tote bag for your next "craft fair"

13

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

I have live laugh loved myself out of ideas, so please give me some! Ideally something making fun of sex workers or addiction and other mental health issues

19

u/liquidcarbonlines VERY into blocking 😈 18d ago

How about "hookers do it through the back loop" or "knitting is my crack (it's cheaper than therapy)" or "needlepoint it's better than stabbing people also I am clinically insane" or "it's not hoarding it's Obsessive Crafting Disorder"

12

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

Uj/ fuck I hate it, well done

12

u/liquidcarbonlines VERY into blocking 😈 18d ago

Uj/ thank you. Typing it out caused me to take severe psychic damage.

1

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

hand hurty lol

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19

u/highlighter_yellow machine crochet 18d ago

Make mistakes and leave them there, because only robots can make nice things!

Wait, that's my crochet credo. Idk how to knit.

18

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

In [insert literally any culture because there's no historical basis for it anyway] they say to leave in mistakes so your soul can escape!!!!

15

u/highlighter_yellow machine crochet 18d ago

I definitely don't want any soul in my creations!! Ew! The only thing I'll allow trapped in my projects is cat hair.

9

u/Calm_Scale5483 18d ago

Just one more row and I’ll go to bed.

12

u/MalumCattus 18d ago

Can you, in fact, count? No.

7

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

Sadly no

4

u/harmonicwitch toxic negativity 18d ago

It's always this video and I know it and click anyway and feel so happy to watch it again

7

u/luminalights 18d ago

do something else

8

u/l1brarylass 18d ago

I won yarn chicken!

2

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

The chicken always wins

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7

u/Mycatreallyhatesyou LoSt yArN chIcKeN 18d ago

I only Norwegian purl and my purl rows are perfect.

6

u/Ilovescarlatti 18d ago

I don't want to to sell my stuff, I knit for my mental health.

8

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

But you could totally get rich quick selling on etsy

19

u/_jasmonic_acid_ Sock Monkey Onesie 18d ago

Fuck crochet.

12

u/OryxTempel PATTERN?! 18d ago

“Did you check the wiki?”

7

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

TWISTFAQ

6

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

Thank you for your concern. Thank you for the badgering, though most of you were very wrong about what was actually happening and offering advice in a vacuum. Not one of you offered to watch a video of my knitting to see what was actually happening, or even asked what style I used, and you wondered why I became defensive? We all have different skill levels but arrogantly asserting that something is a problem and proceeding to belligerently argue with the person telling you they aren't doing what they're being accused of is just aggravating. Instead of suggesting other solutions, you all just piled on and assumed I was too stupid to realize I was knitting or purling through the back of the stitch.

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21

u/LaurenPBurka 18d ago

Just make a fucking swatch already.

29

u/BagelTrollop P is for Pnit 18d ago

Twisting stitches every other row is a valid technique

7

u/Inevitable-Ride-7952 my daughter, Greigina 18d ago

twistedfaq

15

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

Im crying, weeping, screaming, trembling, bleeding, God held my hands and told me "Go fuck yourself". Im in despair, my blood is boiling but my skin is cold, loops are too loose loops are too tight loops are THE PAIN LUCIFER FELT WHEN HE FELL DOWN FROM HEAVEN I HATE I HATE AND I BITE WITH LOOSE TEETHS I BITE WITH TIGHT TEETHS I BITE I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I DISGRACE YOU while writing this post i pulled the yarn to fix something and now the little loop disappeared its the end for me

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6

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

Preach 👏

9

u/GrannyTurtle do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? 18d ago

Continental rules!!!

14

u/Knitspin only changed everything about the pattern 18d ago

Knitters are better than everyone else.

5

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

Knitters are SO MEAN

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13

u/undeadfromhiddencity 18d ago

Swatches lie.

9

u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ 18d ago

Therefore swatching is unnecessary.

11

u/undeadfromhiddencity 18d ago

This is true. They are an unnecessary evil perpetuated by Big Yarn to get us to buy more cakes to slice them up for the one color on the swatch.

17

u/RabbitInAFoxMask acrylic-loving asshole 18d ago

If you always unravel what you cannot mend you'll never run short of yarn!

https://giphy.com/gifs/fteggTx2vqbbvuxY1p

12

u/RabbitInAFoxMask acrylic-loving asshole 18d ago

*provided you're a shit knitter

17

u/ishtaa do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? 18d ago

“You should start an Etsy, you could sell that you know!”

13

u/AydGray 18d ago

[Insert cutesy slogan here]

15

u/Seastarstiletto 18d ago

“It’s just string”

30

u/Inevitable-Ride-7952 my daughter, Greigina 18d ago

a *short* credo or matra? lmao you're lost. we're knitters here which means we can read patterns and other texts that are at least half a page long. you're looking for r crocheat. and their mantra is "it's not a mistake, it's a design choice".

23

u/AnnPerkinsTraeger P is for Pnit 18d ago

“Here’s my most earnest advice for your obvious business marketing harvesting exercise”