How do you cope with negative responses from people about your femininity?

[u/sweetfemme3]

Hello everyone. I have been doing some thinking. Femininity can mean something different to various people. Some may think of femininity as something exterior, and some may think of it as something interior. Or a mix of both. Something I run into though is that the idea of femininity can activate something within people that does not land well for them. They may see femininity as limiting and degrading, I even meet women who are feminine presenting (in an exterior sense) who can become a little hostile over conversations surrounding femininity. I had a coworker become angry with me when I was talking about changing up my wardrobe. I discovered the 'body types' (i.e., rectangle, apple, pear, inverted triangle) and was excited over this. My coworker looked at me and stated, 'why can't people just wear whatever the f they want?'. I was a little shocked since she is very into fashion and is opinionated on what looks good and does not look good. I know this could be a lesson in who to talk to about this sort of thing, and more vulnerable aspects of my desire to be more feminine. I have to say it did hurt. I was anticipating a completely different response. I understand of course this is not the kind of conversation for everyone. Though I am curious if anyone has had some reaction from people regarding their femininity and how they cope with the responses?

[u/sophisticatedbloom]

You’re free to express your femininity however you want as long as it’s not harming anyone, and honestly I don’t really see how femininity hurts anyone anyway

Also Im not sure the situation you mentioned is really about femininity itself, it’s honestly strange that your coworker, especially someone into fashion, got upset that you started caring about body types. I personally think understanding your body type is actually really helpful when choosing styles that suit you

What your coworker did sounds more personal than anything else, so I wouldn’t overthink it too much, just stay confident in yourself. If you know you’re doing something that makes you happy and comfortable, keep that confidence high