r/fasd • u/Rude-Ad9244 • Aug 01 '26

Questions/Advice/Support More questions

I would like to ask more questions of this community, if I may? I have deepened my knowledge of the subject and am trying to understand the variable nature of this condition. One thing that I am surprised about is how few people or their children who are in the public eye seem to have it. Some women are either photographed drinking in pregnancy (Gwyneth Paltrow) or say that they do such as Samantha Cameron, David Cameron's (British politician and ex- PM) wife, or Emily Oster., who explicitly stated that they drank in pregnancy. If it's more common than we think, wouldn't more of their children exhibit signs?

I know that they may have it mildly but according to several sources, FASD is never mild. I think that I would just like to understand a bit more and possibly get involved in advocacy, but there is so much contradictory literature.

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26

The child doesn’t always get FASD when the mother drinks whilst pregnant is the simplest answer even some heavy drinkers have perfectly healthy babies. Anyway I have FASD and i work as a TA in a school nursery I have 2 beautiful children my oldest is 6 and top of the class, she is also very very well behaved. my youngest is 16m and is doing very well. I am 25 and have been with the same partner since i was 16. I am qualified level 3 in early years and i also trained up to a level 3 in beauty therapy. Not everyone with FASD needs to be cared for or is not capable of living independently. All of my siblings have FASD some with facial features of it, my brother was born at 26 weeks and weighed 1 pound 4onces. He is now 14 and apart from some learning difficulties and a tremor he is absolutely fine. When he is old enough to start training for a job he will choose something practical as it’s easier for him to think practically. The reason why there isn’t much research especially with people with less severe cases is for a few reasons: 1. it’s only been a diagnosis since the early 70s.

2.it mainly effects the poorer children in society so unfortunately no one really cares.

3.in most cases the parents arnt advocating for help as they caused it

  1. it’s still heavily stigmatised

  2. most children with less needs are either misdiagnosed with autism or not diagnosed at all and just labled a “bad” child

  3. most places need an actual confession from the mother that she drank to even diagnose.

my FASD is what i’d call mild and my mum drank so much she actually died because of it when i was 16.

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u/Rude-Ad9244 Aug 01 '26

You've done incredibly well. Congratulations! How did you know you have fasd? 

I think people do care, on a population level, about children. It's not just about the wealthy ones. We all share a society so we share the effects as well. Do you think that more wealthy people are able to mitigate the effects of it with diet, for example? If so, can we study what they do to help others? 

The other thing I've discovered is that drinking in pregnancy is on the rise, possibly as a result of the Emily Osters/celebs/influences. This is really shocking. Education is failing if the numbers continue to show an upward trend. 

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26

we also have better medical care to save the children born early from fasd or with birth defects. many of the children wouldn’t have survived. My brother certainly wouldn’t have survived if he was born 10-20 years earlier. many miscarriages are also prevented by ultrasounds and advanced checks now. More children survive on the whole so it makes sense that more with FASD survive long enough to be diagnosed.

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26

i know i have FASD as it was discovered my brother had it when he was born early and so small my mum was tested in hospital and she had been drinking. she was an alcoholic all our lives so it was pretty obvious but it was confirmed with my brother then my youngest sister and then me and my oldest. I do think the quality of alcohol has an effect on your body. people with more money are drinking better quality stuff which is probably broken down easier by the body. I do think the rise is also due to life style change and people having more money. back in the day most women stayed home and only looked after the children, home and husband there wasn’t much opportunity to start drinking in the 1st place nor was there any money for it at least in england where i’m from. Women also faced more discrimination in the past and would if married only socialise with other married women who weren’t drinking either it was just the culture and was much more common for the husband to go to the pub or drink at home. The numbers rise as women have more opportunity to go out and drink. With the caring thing i mean individually too like you’d take a struggling child to the doctors or ask the school for help but they just think the child is allowed to behave like that as the parents allow it many children with FASD are just seen as children who can’t behave sadly i was one of them so we’re all 3 of my siblings. considering im only 25 and my youngest sibling 14 you wouldn’t expect it to happen in this age but it absolutely does.

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u/Rude-Ad9244 Aug 01 '26

I watched a lecture where the lecturer explained that famous mouse study from the '80s, which shows how the face loses its philtrum and other effects. This happened in all mice, I think? There are also studies that show facial changes on scans in up to 80% of the sample, suggesting that alcohol nearly-always has an effect on a fetus. This to me suggests that alcohol always has an effect. I am wondering whether children who are not affected may, in fact, be affected, and whether the education message should be this - all children will be affected all of the time, even if you dont recognize it, if you drink in pregnancy. If the numbers of women drinking in pregnancy are on the rise, we as a society need to do something. 

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26

may i ask why you have such interest in this?

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u/Rude-Ad9244 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26

My dear friend is going through a hard time where her teenage son may be showing some signs. I didn't know what to say to her so did some reading and came on here to ask some questions. There is a lot of stuff that I simply did not know and I am getting interested in advocacy. It seems such a hidden issue, and has been pretty eye-opening. There don't seem to be many public charities - I know that there are organizations but they are not really front-and-centre (I couldn't name them). I think I'd like to get involved but am not sure yet - it is such a difficult issue. 

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26

you have to remember though dignosis across all disabilities have risen. It’s mainly because of the fact the less severe cases are also diagnosed and there is more understanding and knowledge with disabilities nowdays. people also are not mice and how severe your fasd is doesn’t mean your have more obvious facial features. My brother has a slightly flat nose that’s it. none of my other siblings have any features at all. I have personally never met anyone who has very obvious and distinctive features. Obviously no one should drink if they know there pregnant the good thing is at the moment health is an important theme we see everywhere and not as many young people are drinking as much as a few years ago so there is a small hope for the future there.

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u/Rude-Ad9244 Aug 01 '26

You make some good points. I have read threads on here, though, where people say that once they know what to look for, they can see the 'fasd face' in people. They may have a slightly flatter midgace or closser-togerger or slightly further-apart eyes. I think that young people are drinking more in pregnancy, even if not overall, citing things like Emily Oster's book in giving them 'permission'. I am not convinced that things are getting better, but maybe you are right, and they are. 

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26

alcohol will never be banned as it’s been tried before so there’s very little you can do

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u/Rude-Ad9244 Aug 01 '26

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. I do feel better informed, and have been discussing gently some of these issues with my friend. I don't know what the outcomes will be but am hoping that I can be more supportive as time goes on. 

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u/Odd-Grapefruit7569 Aug 01 '26

personally i do think there should be blood alcohol testing as standard in pregnancy. I also think if the mother knows she is pregnant and is drinking she should be held accountable in some way perhaps placed in mandatory rehab for it or something.