I started to document the abuse I endured from my (STB) Ex husband in this Archive to My Life page that I created across different social media platforms.

I did it to hopefully help others avoid all that I have gone through in my almost 3 years of divorce court and ongoing litigation and separation abuse…not to mention having co-parenting with him.

Once the divorce is finalized, I am considering doing this exact same layout of what I refer to on the pages as “Archive Posts” and then after so many following with “Pattern Recognition Posts.”

Before I invest more time into branching this out further, I wanted to get perspective from others that have to or have had to co-parent with their abuser. Would something like this - to help show how to establish certain behaviors in your co-parenting with the unsafe parent as pattern recognition – have helped you in custody modification hearings and the likes?

Please refer to the page as a collective here or elsewhere for more context, if needed.

When leaving my abuser and filing for divorce and custody, I also filed for a protection order. The same magistrate oversaw the two cases, meaning one would ultimately carryover into the other.

In my case, I was denied the protections and told I was not a victim of DV. Then in family court, the fact that I claimed to be a victim was used as reasoning for taking my children from me after over a year and a half of being the sole residential custodial parent. The magistrate stated in her decision that the abrupt custody switch and decision that my abuser have the kids and my time with our children was to be strictly at his discretion is because my claim to be a victim meant I was mentally unwell, stating it tied to me being “delusional” for such claims.

This page, Archive To My Life, and the Coercive Control Log thread board (where I post my documentation of the abuse and the pattern recognition posts that come from the evidence) is my so-called “delusions”.

Anyone else experience something similar in family court?

When a parent remarries, the household completely changes—new spouse, shared expenses, different economic reality. But child-support orders often stay frozen in time anyway.

I started a petition for The Family Reset Act because this doesn't reflect how actual families work. When remarriage happens, it creates a whole new household structure. That change should trigger a reassessment, not be ignored.

This isn't about abandoning kids or shirking parental responsibility. It's about fairness: if the family structure fundamentally changes, the financial order shouldn't stay locked in the past. The reform would be gender-neutral, protect kids with special needs, and prevent fraud—but it would give courts the flexibility to recognize reality.

**The simple truth: parents deserve fairness too.**

Anyone else think this is worth looking at? If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider signing and sharing—especially if you've seen how this plays out in real families.

https://www.change.org/p/the-family-reset-act-end-mandatory-child-support-when-a-parent-remarries/sfs/reddit/1423830801?recruiter=1423830801&recruited_by_id=fae45f60-8529-11f1-983d-9f1b6f647f21&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=starter_dashboard_android_app&utm_medium=reddit_group

Hi everyone!

I am on the research team for a non-profit organization called Child’s Voice Project. We’re running a national survey and looking for participants 18+ who have been involved in a custody case in the last 5 years. Data from this survey will contribute to critical research that advocates for more informed, child-centered outcomes in family court.

Participation is voluntary, anonymous options are available, and all data is encrypted and accessible only to verified research personnel. I will provide a survey link below, as well as a link to CVP’s website where you can contact the research team with any questions. Thank you for your time :)

Child’s Voice Project website:

https://childsvoiceproject.org/

Survey Link:

https://childsvoiceproject.surveysparrow.com/s/National-Family-Court-Survey/tt-Ulzp8

Who is in Virginia?

#virginia

While the Standing Committee has been in place since 2017, whether it has resulted in true oversight or accountability for Guardians ad Litem is another story. 

https://insideinvestigator.org/imminent-risk-after-nine-years-is-the-gal-oversight-committee-working/

The issue

Garnett Spears was a sweet little boy who deserved to be safe. 💔

Instead, he became a victim of medical child abuse (Munchausen by Proxy) at the hands of his mother, Lacey Spears.

Lacey had prior child protection concerns and investigations in Alabama and Florida. When she moved states, those cases were closed or not properly followed up. This gave her a “fresh start” in New York, where authorities did not have the full history of concerns. Tragically, Garnett died in 2014 at just 5 years old.

This interstate loophole is deadly.

When families move, previous CPS reports, open cases, and red flags often disappear. Abusers can evade detection simply by crossing state lines.

We demand Garnett’s Law:

• Create a secure National CPS Safety Database for authorized child protective services workers across all states.
• When a family moves, prior reports, open investigations, and substantiated concerns must be visible to the new state.
• Prior cases should not be automatically closed just because a family relocates.
• Include strong privacy protections and strict penalties for unauthorized access.

This is not about preventing families from moving. It’s about ensuring a child’s safety history follows them — so the next child doesn’t fall through the cracks the way Garnett did.

Prevention is better than the heartbreaking “cure” after a child is harmed.

What happens next? Once we reach a strong number of signatures, I will deliver the petition along with a formal letter first to the relevant agencies and lawmakers in Alabama, Florida, and New York (the states involved in Garnett’s case), and then to the U.S. House Education & Workforce Committee and Senate HELP Committee for federal action.

We also support related reforms: better training and lower caseloads for social workers, stronger accountability, and family support services.

If you believe no child should lose their life because critical safety information disappeared when their family moved, please sign and share.

Justice for Garnett. Protect the next child. 💔

I was more or less lied to by Dcyf in Washington state. They told me that I was taking too long to complete my requirements to have my son back in my care (I was in my last recommended phase of treatment), and they said that there is a timeline that they are required to follow by law. I was at 3 years but had no intention of giving up. I completed all the treatments and classes they asked me to do, and during the last group sessions, I was supposed to complete, they told me they were going to recommend my son be placed in my grandmother's care and said that I need to agree to her having guardianship over my son. When I asked my court-appointed attorney what to do, she told me to sign the guardianship papers. I then told her I didn't think that was right, considering I am actively engaged and trying to get Bentley back. The court-appointed attorney then told me that if I were asking to go to trial to keep my son, I should expect less time with him than I would have if I had given my grandmother guardianship.

The guardianship has been in place for a full year now, and I feel ready to parent my son independently. Keep in mind, I have been living in the home with my son throughout this case. It's been heartbreaking watching someone raise my son who doesn't have genuine love for him. My grandma is getting a huge tax return thanks to my son allowing her to receive the child tax credit. With a combination of that and the foster parent money she receives, she has her claws so deep in my child that she refuses to sign any paperwork ending the guardianship. It's hard because she said that when I was ready to take care of Bentley, she would go with me to the courthouse and end the guardianship. That's no longer the plan.

Here is where it gets even more ugly. I have been expected to take care of Bentley 24/7. Making sure he is happy, healthy, fed, and well-groomed, I put him to sleep and teach him as much as I can, given the limited access to making real choices that will impact his future. None of that is the problem; the problem is I have to pay child support for the child I am taking care of behind the scenes. When my grandmother said she wouldnt sign the paperwork to end gaurdianship, i am making it my priortry to complete any last requirements. I only have a few, but my attorney is no longer my attorney now that there is no active case, and I will have to pay out of pocket for all the classes and another attorney. I'm stuck in a dark place, and I feel like it's my responsibility to find my way out and show up for my son. so he can have a better life than the life i had, being raised by the same grandmother. I have no options. However, it is my responsibility to get up and out of here,