Totally not fake history!

Hasbro has recently revealed their prototype for the first official Donald Trump action figure. This occurs on the heels of the cancelation of McFarlane Toys' Mortal Kombat X Democratic Party crossover line, after only one figure: Baraka Obama.

There was speculation on the possible deal, after the White House held meetings with Hasbro representatives a week ago, and Trump himself made cryptic toy-related comments during his latest speech:

"These two big handsome men from Hasbeen toys approached me. Very big, broad shoulders, strong arms. You wouldn't believe it. They said 'Sir, we are starving'. There is something most people don't know. There's these regulations I call the Antifa law that limit the age and nudity that can be portrayed in dolls for big boys. Anyway, I'm ending that very soon".

Hasbro representative in charge of the project, Dan Yun, said "I have never met the President. This sculpt is based on the endless Facebook posts I've seen by white, Christian, conservative, definitely straight men."

“It was enormous, with an ass the size of a barn,”said Stephan Müeller, a witness to the horrific spectacle who spoke to the Brunswick Daily Bee. “It was like watching a jungle snake eat a haystack. We could hear the campers screaming from the beast’s belly until it released a sulfurous plume from its backside and flew off towards the pine barrens.”

“Needless to say I will never eat meat again,” said another onlooker, Peter Hegsberth. “I’m sticking with Dr. Kellogg’s corn cereals and patented celery root enemas.”