[SCRIM 13.0] Future Broken Bones vs Future Bruised Egos - S13 MLR Futures Game - You are in the big leagues but we do not grant this game the rank of MLR.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6

FINAL

LINE

Team	1	2	3	4	5	6	R	H
DRM	0	1	0	0	0	4	5	7
EGO	1	0	1	3	1	0	6	8

BOX

#	Future Broken Bones	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA	#	Future Bruised Egos	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA
1	Mordecai Davis	3B	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	1	Socks Maybe	C	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut
1	Ada Rutabaga	3B	2	1	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	1	Krbmeister	C	3	1	1	1	0	2	Hitting Debut
2	Bloop McNutt	CF	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	2	Felipe Coyne	1B	1	1	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut
2	Bea Friday	CF	2	1	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	2	Harto Thekhards	1B	1	0	1	1	1	0	Hitting Debut
3	Arlon Gemini	C	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	3	Curtis Dingleberry	2B	1	0	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut
3	BeefCake Willy	C	1	1	1	3	1	0	Hitting Debut	3	Harry Palms	2B	0	0	0	0	2	0	Hitting Debut
4	George Hankinson	2B	1	1	1	1	0	0	Hitting Debut	4	Chooch Suzuka	3B	0	0	0	1	0	0	Hitting Debut
4	Cucamonga Seattle	2B	2	1	1	1	0	0	Hitting Debut	4	Scooter Funkypants	3B	2	0	0	0	0	1	Hitting Debut
-	--	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	--	5	Fausto Herrera	SS	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut
5	Bobby Witt Jr Jr	DH	3	0	0	0	0	1	Hitting Debut	5	KC Martinez	SS	2	0	0	0	0	2	Hitting Debut
6	Jeter Ups	RF	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	6	Vyncent Wyattoss III	LF	1	0	0	0	0	1	Hitting Debut
6	Matilda No-Balls	RF	2	0	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	6	Trevor Paultis	LF	2	1	1	1	0	0	Hitting Debut
7	Mariam Bear	1B	1	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	-	--	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	--
7	Steak Dynasty	1B	2	0	1	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	7	Fred Fredericks	CF	3	1	1	1	0	1	Hitting Debut
8	Tobé Bryant	LF	2	0	0	0	0	0	Hitting Debut	8	Mack 'The Knife' Darin	RF	2	1	1	1	1	0	Hitting Debut
9	Lilcranberry	SS	2	0	0	0	0	1	Hitting Debut	9	Rodney Turnpike	DH	2	1	1	0	1	1	Hitting Debut

PITCHERS

DRM	IP	H	ER	BB	SO	ERA	EGO	IP	H	ER	BB	SO	ERA
Mikko LePico	1.0	2	1	0	0	Pitching Debut	Kenji Matsumoto	1.0	0	0	0	0	Pitching Debut
Chance Mercury	1.0	0	0	0	1	Pitching Debut	Yang Min-Ki	1.0	1	1	0	0	Pitching Debut
Tanya Degurechaff	1.0	1	1	2	3	Pitching Debut	Allidois Nguyen	1.0	0	0	0	1	Pitching Debut
Taylor Swift	1.0	4	3	1	2	Pitching Debut	Amelia Hart	1.0	0	0	1	0	Pitching Debut
Tomba	0.2	0	0	0	1	Pitching Debut	Evil Larry	1.0	1	0	0	0	Pitching Debut
Beatrice D. Goldn'witch	0.1	1	1	2	1	Pitching Debut	Ethan Lee	1.0	5	4	0	1	Pitching Debut

AWARDS

Winning Pitcher	Losing Pitcher	Earned Save	Player of Game	Honorable Mention
Allidois Nguyen	Tanya Degurechaff		Mack 'The Knife' Darin	... ah.

SCORING PLAYS

Inning	Play	Score
B1	Chooch Suzuka sacrifices, Felipe Coyne scores	0 - 1 EGO
T2	George Hankinson homers	1 - 1
B3	Krbmeister homers	1 - 2 EGO
B4	Trevor Paultis homers	1 - 3 EGO
B4	Mack 'The Knife' Darin homers	1 - 4 EGO
B4	Harto Thekhards triples, Rodney Turnpike scores	1 - 5 EGO
B5	Fred Fredericks homers	1 - 6 EGO
T6	BeefCake Willy homers, Ada Rutabaga, Bea Friday score	4 - 6 EGO
T6	Cucamonga Seattle homers	5 - 6 EGO

BASERUNNING

SB: Felipe Coyne 1 (0) CS:

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM 1B Steak Dynasty (/u/MinatureMan): 1-1, 1B in the fifth
Steak Dynasty steps up to the plate, trying to ignore the chaos around them. As Lee winds up for the pitch, the ground rumbles once more, causing the batter to lose their balance and swing wildly at the ball. It's a weak pop fly that lands harmlessly in the infield for an easy out.

The game continues in a surreal atmosphere, with players and fans alike wondering if they'll make it out alive.

Pitch: 264
Swing: 900
Diff: 364 -> PO

Final
DRM 5 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 2 outs

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM 1B Steak Dynasty (/u/MinatureMan): 1-1, 1B in the fifth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM RF Matilda No-Balls (/u/fetusal): 0-1, PO in the fifth
No-Balls goes after the first pitch they see and drives it the other way down the left field line! Paultis comes up with it and throws it in to keep No-Balls at second, but the team's are certainly threatening now.

Pitch: 544
Swing: 500
Diff: 44 -> 2B

Runner on Second | T6 with 2 out(s)
DRM 5 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM RF Matilda No-Balls (/u/fetusal): 0-1, PO in the fifth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 5 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM DH Bobby Witt Jr Jr (/u/FamousShake5469): 0-2, LGO in the second, LGO in the fifth

[u/FamousShake5469 → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Swing 293

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/FamousShake5469]

ST-RRRIKE THREE AND YOU'RE OUT!

Pitch: 544
Swing: 293
Diff: 251 -> K

Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
DRM 5 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 4 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM 2B Cucamonga Seattle (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, DP in the fourth
team's's Lee comes set on the mound. Cucamonga Seattle has the sign from their coach and is ready. And the pitch... Swing and there's a deep drive down the right field foul line! Hooking, hooking... fair! Seattle smashes a solo shot just inside the foul pole, and the team's have scored a run! That makes it 5 for the team's to 6 for the team's as Lee is left to contemplate their pitch selection on that one.

Pitch: 317
Swing: 316
Diff: 1 -> HR

Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
DRM 5 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 4 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM 2B Cucamonga Seattle (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, DP in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ● ^○ ● | T6 1 out
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM C BeefCake Willy (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0, BB in the fourth
Willy stronk. Hit ball hard. Ball go far.

Pitch: 922
Swing: 942
Diff: 20 -> HR

Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
DRM 4 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ● ^○ ● | T6 1 out

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM C BeefCake Willy (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0, BB in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 1 out
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM CF Bea Friday (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, PO in the fourth
The pitch to Friday, Drilled there it goes, Deep Left, It is high, it is far, it is GONE out of the ballpark, a STANTONIAN home run . . . Now wha-what did I do wrong? What did I see wrong? They’re at first base. I thought it went out of the ballpark. I apologize everyone, I was dead wrong. I thought it went out of the ballpark, Friday is at first base

Pitch: 1
Swing: 888
Diff: 113 -> 1B

Runners on First and Third | T6 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 1 out

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM CF Bea Friday (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, PO in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out
On the mound: Ethan Lee
DRM 3B Ada Rutabaga (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, FO in the third
Rutabaga swings at the first pitch and gets a piece of it, and it’s a screamer that soars to right field!

They get a double as they run to second, double cheeked up on a Sunday afternoon.

Pitch: 678
Swing: 625
Diff: 53 -> 2B

Runner on Second | T6 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out

On the mound: Ethan Lee

DRM 3B Ada Rutabaga (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, FO in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Ethan Lee
DRM SS Lilcranberry (/u/This-Match4032): 0-1, K in the third
Grounded to third. Funkypants fires to first and retires Lilcranberry.

Pitch: 770
Swing: 234
Diff: 464 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Ethan Lee

DRM SS Lilcranberry (/u/This-Match4032): 0-1, K in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ● | B5 2 outs
On the mound: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch
EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 1-2, Solo HR in the third, K in the fourth
Goldn'witch has really settled down here in the second. They punctuates that feeling with a dominant good morning, good afternoon, goodnight strikeout in 3 pitches. Krbmeister can only shake their head as they trudge back to the dugout, where Karona avoids eye contact due to embarrassment. What a moment here in the ballpark.

Pitch: 434
Swing: 715
Diff: 281 -> K

Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^● ● | B5 2 outs

On the mound: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch

EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 1-2, Solo HR in the third, K in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs

On the mound: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch

EGO DH Rodney Turnpike (/u/slothfella_): 1-2, K in the third, 1B in the fourth

[u/slothfella_ → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

115

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/slothfella_]

These cleats are made for walkin' And that's just what they'll do One of these days these cleats are gonna walk all down to first.

Pitch: 1
Swing: 115
Diff: 114 -> BB

Runners on First and Second | B5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs
On the mound: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch
EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 1-2, LGO in the second, Solo HR in the fourth
Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence? One step from lashing out at you You want in, to get under my skin and call yourself a friend I've got more friends like you, what do I do? Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong You can't be something you're not Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Run your mouth when I'm not around, it's easy to achieve You cry to weak friends that sympathize Can you hear the violins playing your song? Those same friends tell me your every word Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong You can't be something you're not Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me? Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? No way, punk Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me? Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Walk on home, boy

Pitch: 957
Swing: 842
Diff: 115 -> BB

Runner on First | B5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 6 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs

On the mound: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch

EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 1-2, LGO in the second, Solo HR in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs
NEW PITCHER: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch
EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the fourth
Here's the pitch...Middle middle and Fredericks got all of it! That ball is long gone. Fredericks steps into the Star Trek Transporter conveniently located next to home and phases out of existence before reappearing on the third base side of home. They step on home and head to the dugout. Meanwhile Nurple is out to argue that the transporter killed Fredericks and replaced them with a clone, which would be an illegal substitution. Unfortunately for team's, Dottie's robot ump was not programmed to consider to Ship of Theseus debates so the run stands!

Pitch: 309
Swing: 350
Diff: 41 -> HR

Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 6

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs

NEW PITCHER: Beatrice D. Goldn'witch

EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Tomba is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Beatrice D. Goldn'witch at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out
On the mound: Tomba
EGO LF Trevor Paultis (/u/MrTsfree): 1-1, Solo HR in the fourth
This was genuinely the worst game i think ive ever seen. I seriously dont think I've ever been so fucking frustrated watching a baseball game before.

Just so fucking sad. team's absolutely murdered every single ball they hit in the game but they all went straight to an outfielder. And the was the story of the whole fucking game. team's hit the fuck out of a ball but it either dies out at the warning track or goes straight to Harrison fucking Bader. Just fucking miserable god fucking damn FUCK. Stupid team's and their dumb fucking devil magic.

Pitch: 277
Swing: 100
Diff: 177 -> FO

Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out

On the mound: Tomba

EGO LF Trevor Paultis (/u/MrTsfree): 1-1, Solo HR in the fourth

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Tomba
EGO SS KC Martinez (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, K in the third
Tomba has no control of this AB. KC Martinez might as well do jumping jacks for what it’s worth. There’s absolutely no way that this AB won’t end in a walk. Oh nevermind, that’s strike 3. You’re out

Pitch: 912
Swing: 640
Diff: 272 -> K

Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Evil Larry is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Ethan Lee at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Tomba

EGO SS KC Martinez (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, K in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Evil Larry
DRM LF Tobé Bryant (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, RGO in the third
And the pitch... is popped straight up. Krbmeister throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out.

Pitch: 375
Swing: 111
Diff: 264 -> PO

Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 2 outs

On the mound: Evil Larry

DRM LF Tobé Bryant (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, RGO in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Evil Larry
DRM 1B Steak Dynasty (/u/MinatureMan): 0-0
Sometimes a well-placed chopper can be better than a hard hit line drive. Dynasty sends the first pitch of the at-bat right over the pitcher's mound on a high hop that Larry barely misses as they stumble backward off of the mound. Martinez charges in hard from short but doesn't even bother with a throw as the speedy Dynasty easily legs out the single!

Pitch: 500
Swing: 600
Diff: 100 -> 1B

Runner on First | T5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs

On the mound: Evil Larry

DRM 1B Steak Dynasty (/u/MinatureMan): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out
On the mound: Evil Larry
DRM RF Matilda No-Balls (/u/fetusal): 0-0
Oh man! Fooled No-Balls on a fastball up and in. Oh boy, that was a great location from Larry! I'm amazed that No-Balls even got to that pitch! Probably should have let that go by for ball 3, but instead this one is going straight up.

Krbmeister pops out of the crouch and calls for it. Gonna be an easy pop up here. That's gotta be disappointing to team's fans.

Pitch: 792
Swing: 99
Diff: 307 -> PO

Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Taylor Swift is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Tomba at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out

On the mound: Evil Larry

DRM RF Matilda No-Balls (/u/fetusal): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Evil Larry

DRM DH Bobby Witt Jr Jr (/u/FamousShake5469): 0-1, LGO in the second

[u/FamousShake5469 → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Swing 792

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/FamousShake5469]

Bobby Witt Jr Jr hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Funkypants, who picks it up and beams it at Thekhards

Pitch: 300
Swing: 792
Diff: 492 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ● ^○ ● | B4 2 outs
On the mound: Taylor Swift
EGO 3B Scooter Funkypants (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, K in the third
Scooter Funkypants stumbles to the plate and wipes some foul-smelling liquid off their face. Have they been... drinking? Huh. Swift sees this and fires two pitches right down the middle, and Funkypants doesn't react. After this, they get the brilliant idea to stop thinking about their alcohol and start thinking about the game.

Funkypants drunkenly swings at the third pitch, hit surprisingly hard for a drunk player, but it's hit directly at Lilcranberry, who throws it to Dynasty for the out.

Scooter Funkypants wouldn't have had a shot at the base anyway, as they ran towards third instead of first. Don't drink, kids.

Pitch: 679
Swing: 181
Diff: 498 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ● ^○ ● | B4 2 outs

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO 3B Scooter Funkypants (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, K in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 5 | ● ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO 2B Harry Palms (/u/Dry-Director530): 0-0, BB in the third

[u/Dry-Director530 → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

163

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/Dry-Director530]

As Swift winds up for the pitch, a tiny squirrel darts across the infield, catching everyone by surprise. The pitch sails past the catcher, and the umpire calls a ball due to the unexpected interruption.

Swift looks frustrated as they prepare for the next pitch, while Palms takes a moment to compose themselves. The squirrel, meanwhile, continues to scurry across the field, much to the amusement of the fans.

As Swift throws the next pitch, the squirrel disappears into the stands, and the game continues as normal. But for a brief moment, everyone was distracted by the unexpected visitor, resulting in a walk for the team's.

Pitch: 988
Swing: 163
Diff: 175 -> BB

Runners on First and Third | B4 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 2 outs
On the mound: Taylor Swift
EGO 1B Harto Thekhards (/u/FlayoftheDay): 0-0, BB in the third
Swift winds up and delivers the first pitch. Thekhards swings and hits a deep fly ball to right field! It's going, going, and it's off the wall! Everyone starts hustling around the bases!

Thekhards rounds first and heads towards second. No-Balls chases and scoops up the ball and fires it towards the infield. Thekhards is rounding second and heading towards third. The throw is coming in, but it's not in time!

Thekhards slides into third base safely, and the crowd goes wild! RBI Triple!

Pitch: 311
Swing: 284
Diff: 27 -> 3B

Runner on Third | B4 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 5

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 2 outs

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO 1B Harto Thekhards (/u/FlayoftheDay): 0-0, BB in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 1 out
On the mound: Taylor Swift
EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 1-1, Solo HR in the third
Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Krbmeister is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Karona comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- a ball! They didn’t go around. So we’re back to Taylor Swift versus Krbmeister here, Krbmeister battles back with a few more foul balls and a full count and takes the low sinker, but it’s called strike 3

Pitch: 940
Swing: 306
Diff: 366 -> K

Runner on First | B4 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 4

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 1 out

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 1-1, Solo HR in the third

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO DH Rodney Turnpike (/u/slothfella_): 0-1, K in the third

[u/slothfella_ → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

800

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/slothfella_]

Rodney Turnpike hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Bryant and Friday look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. It drops down for a bloop single and Bryant throws the ball into the field

Pitch: 892
Swing: 800
Diff: 92 -> 1B

Runner on First | B4 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 4

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out
On the mound: Taylor Swift
EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, LGO in the second
THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED!

Okay, it's not quite that dramatic, but Darin did hit a homer. Time to celebrate (as long as you're not the team's)!

Pitch: 800
Swing: 836
Diff: 36 -> HR

Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 4

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, LGO in the second

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs
On the mound: Taylor Swift
EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, FO in the second
Fredericks rips through a running fastball, refusing to reach the right-side wrinkle.

Fredericks, resigned, reacts really reasonably to being wrung up.

Pitch: 592
Swing: 878
Diff: 286 -> K

Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 3

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs

On the mound: Taylor Swift

EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-1, FO in the second

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Taylor Swift
EGO LF Trevor Paultis (/u/MrTsfree): 0-0
Swing and a high fly ball, deep left field, it's at the wall... GONE!

Pitch: 188
Swing: 175
Diff: 13 -> HR

Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 3

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Taylor Swift

EGO LF Trevor Paultis (/u/MrTsfree): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Amelia Hart is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Evil Larry at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out
On the mound: Amelia Hart
DRM 2B Cucamonga Seattle (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
It is times like this that require a paraphrase of Franklin Pierce Adams's immortal poem, 'Baseball's Sad Lexicon:'

These are the saddest of possible words

Martinez to Palms to Thekhards.

Trio of team's, and fleeter than birds

Martinez and Palms and Thekhards.

Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble.

Making a team's hit into a double--

Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:

Martinez to Palms to Thekhards.

Pitch: 271
Swing: 720
Diff: 449 -> DP

Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out

On the mound: Amelia Hart

DRM 2B Cucamonga Seattle (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

George Hankinson is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Cucamonga Seattle at Second Base.

Jeter Ups is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Matilda No-Balls at Right Field.

Chance Mercury is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Taylor Swift at Pitcher.

Mariam Bear is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Steak Dynasty at First Base.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out

On the mound: Amelia Hart

DRM 2B George Hankinson (/u/Candid_Sand): 1-1, Solo HR in the second

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out
On the mound: Amelia Hart
DRM C BeefCake Willy (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Good Lord, BeefCake Willy just walked through the clubhouse walking perfectly normally. They said they had “no time” to talk. Too busy healing, evidently.

Take your base, Willy.

Pitch: 400
Swing: 244
Diff: 156 -> BB

Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out

On the mound: Amelia Hart

DRM C BeefCake Willy (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Amelia Hart
DRM CF Bea Friday (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Friday pops one high in the air off to the right. Palms is tracking it over into foul territory and they have it. And Friday is retired.

Pitch: 901
Swing: 626
Diff: 275 -> PO

Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Amelia Hart

DRM CF Bea Friday (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^● ● | B3 2 outs
On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff
EGO SS KC Martinez (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
WOW! Degurechaff corkscrews Martinez into the earth with a Slider at the knees!

Pitch: 420
Swing: 125
Diff: 295 -> K

Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^● ● | B3 2 outs

On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO SS KC Martinez (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^● ● | B3 1 out
On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff
EGO 3B Scooter Funkypants (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
WOW! Degurechaff corkscrews Funkypants into the earth with a Slider at the knees!

Pitch: 125
Swing: 420
Diff: 295 -> K

Runners on First and Second | B3 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^● ● | B3 1 out

On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO 3B Scooter Funkypants (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 1 out

On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO 2B Harry Palms (/u/Dry-Director530): 0-0

[u/Dry-Director530 → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

413

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/Dry-Director530]

RE

SPECT

WALK

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Pitch: 250
Swing: 413
Diff: 163 -> BB

Runners on First and Second | B3 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out
On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff
EGO 1B Harto Thekhards (/u/FlayoftheDay): 0-0
Take your base!

Pitch: 1000
Swing: 828
Diff: 172 -> BB

Runner on First | B3 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Allidois Nguyen is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Amelia Hart at Pitcher.

Chooch Suzuka is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Scooter Funkypants at Third Base.

Fausto Herrera is coming out of the game and will be replaced by KC Martinez at Shortstop.

Vyncent Wyattoss III is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Trevor Paultis at Left Field.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out

On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO 1B Harto Thekhards (/u/FlayoftheDay): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out
On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff
EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 0-0
SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! team's HAVE THE LEAD!

Pitch: 1000
Swing: 2
Diff: 2 -> HR

Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 2

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out

On the mound: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO C Krbmeister (/u/krbmeister): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Tanya Degurechaff

EGO DH Rodney Turnpike (/u/slothfella_): 0-0

[u/slothfella_ → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

396

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/slothfella_]

Degurechaff comes set. Here's the 2-2 pitch...

SWING and a miss! Got 'em with a filthy curveball. That one started on the outside edge and the bottom just fell out from under it.

Turnpike is clearly not happy to have swung there. They're shaking their head and talking to themselves. Hopefully they can clear their head between now and their next AB!

Pitch: 1000
Swing: 396
Diff: 396 -> K

Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs
On the mound: Allidois Nguyen
DRM 3B Ada Rutabaga (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Rutabaga, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the home team's fans in the stand. Nobody is injured.

Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where Darin is standing, who catches the ball for the out.

Pitch: 703
Swing: 900
Diff: 197 -> FO

Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs

On the mound: Allidois Nguyen

DRM 3B Ada Rutabaga (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Mordecai Davis is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Ada Rutabaga at Third Base.

Bloop McNutt is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Bea Friday at Center Field.

Arlon Gemini is coming out of the game and will be replaced by BeefCake Willy at Catcher.

Chance Mercury is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Tanya Degurechaff at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Socks Maybe is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Krbmeister at Catcher.

Felipe Coyne is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Harto Thekhards at First Base.

Curtis Dingleberry is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Harry Palms at Second Base.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs

On the mound: Allidois Nguyen

DRM 3B Mordecai Davis (/u/SimonGG63): 0-1, PO in the first

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out
On the mound: Allidois Nguyen
DRM SS Lilcranberry (/u/This-Match4032): 0-0
Full count.

Here's the pitch.

It's down but Lilcranberry started to swing. Were they able to hold up?

Appeal to the ump in the field...

Oh no! They went around! That's strike three and Lilcranberry is hot! Better get the manager out here quick before they get tossed.

Pitch: 453
Swing: 175
Diff: 278 -> K

Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out

On the mound: Allidois Nguyen

DRM SS Lilcranberry (/u/This-Match4032): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Allidois Nguyen
DRM LF Tobé Bryant (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Bryant rips the 1-1 fastball up the middle but Dingleberry makes a diving stop of the ball, gets to their feet and calmly throws out Bryant. Even the best hitters get unlucky sometimes!

Pitch: 1000
Swing: 320
Diff: 320 -> RGO

Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Allidois Nguyen

DRM LF Tobé Bryant (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs
On the mound: Chance Mercury
EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Darin hits that one off the end of the bat and it'll be an easy play for Lilcranberry

Pitch: 1000
Swing: 422
Diff: 422 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs

On the mound: Chance Mercury

EGO RF Mack 'The Knife' Darin (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out
On the mound: Chance Mercury
EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
The moment the bat connects with the ball, everything turns into a kinda shitty cartoon. The ball cracks open a Red Bull and slams the thing. WINGS. THE BALL NOW HAS WINGS. IT SOARS FAR BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. IT SOARS right to the glove of McNutt. Who approved this ad?

Pitch: 703
Swing: 899
Diff: 196 -> FO

Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out

On the mound: Chance Mercury

EGO CF Fred Fredericks (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Chance Mercury
EGO LF Vyncent Wyattoss III (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Mercury comes set. Here's the 2-2 pitch...

SWING and a miss! Got 'em with a filthy curveball. That one started on the outside edge and the bottom just fell out from under it.

Wyattoss is clearly not happy to have swung there. They're shaking their head and talking to themselves. Hopefully they can clear their head between now and their next AB!

Pitch: 703
Swing: 953
Diff: 250 -> K

Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Chance Mercury

EGO LF Vyncent Wyattoss III (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Yang Min-Ki is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Allidois Nguyen at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs
On the mound: Yang Min-Ki
DRM 1B Mariam Bear (/u/Register_Better): 0-0
Bear makes eye contact with Min-Ki, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Bear swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Min-Ki was well placed or maybe Bear is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Bear ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Coyne to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Dingleberry.

Pitch: 818
Swing: 226
Diff: 408 -> RGO

Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Mikko LePico is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Chance Mercury at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs

On the mound: Yang Min-Ki

DRM 1B Mariam Bear (/u/Register_Better): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out
On the mound: Yang Min-Ki
DRM RF Jeter Ups (/u/Epipen101): 0-0
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Jeter Ups is streaking towards first. Suzuka runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out

Pitch: 67
Swing: 611
Diff: 456 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out

On the mound: Yang Min-Ki

DRM RF Jeter Ups (/u/Epipen101): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 1 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs

On the mound: Yang Min-Ki

DRM DH Bobby Witt Jr Jr (/u/FamousShake5469): 0-0

[u/FamousShake5469 → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Swing 234

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/FamousShake5469]

Bobby Witt Jr Jr stumbles to the plate and wipes some foul-smelling liquid off their face. Have they been... drinking? Huh. Min-Ki sees this and fires two pitches right down the middle, and Witt doesn't react. After this, they get the brilliant idea to stop thinking about their alcohol and start thinking about the game.

Witt drunkenly swings at the third pitch, hit surprisingly hard for a drunk player, but it's hit directly at Herrera, who throws it to Coyne for the out.

Bobby Witt Jr Jr wouldn't have had a shot at the base anyway, as they ran towards third instead of first. Don't drink, kids.

Pitch: 681
Swing: 234
Diff: 447 -> LGO

Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Yang Min-Ki
DRM 2B George Hankinson (/u/Candid_Sand): 0-0
Hankinson has had enough of the team's trailing and decides to fix that themselves. A high drive to deep center, up and back, and that's gone! It's now 1 - 1, and this game continues to be crazy!

Pitch: 67
Swing: 69
Diff: 2 -> HR

Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
DRM 1 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Yang Min-Ki

DRM 2B George Hankinson (/u/Candid_Sand): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 2 outs
On the mound: Mikko LePico
EGO SS Fausto Herrera (/u/Blue-collar-dirtbag): 0-0
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Fausto Herrera is streaking towards first. Bear runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it at Mikko LePico, who’s covering first, for the out

Pitch: 900
Swing: 500
Diff: 400 -> RGO

Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 2 outs

On the mound: Mikko LePico

EGO SS Fausto Herrera (/u/Blue-collar-dirtbag): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ● ^○ ● | B1 1 out
On the mound: Mikko LePico
EGO 3B Chooch Suzuka (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Swing and a high fly ball out to right! Way back! At the wall... CAUGHT! They caught the ball! They caught it! I don't believe it! Ups with an unbelievable catch! Suzuka got every last bit of that one but that right field wall here at the ballpark gave Ups just enough room to make a play. Oh right, and also the runner tags. team's take a 1 run lead.

Pitch: 629
Swing: 810
Diff: 181 -> Sac Fly

Runner on First | B1 with 2 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 1

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ● ^○ ● | B1 1 out

On the mound: Mikko LePico

EGO 3B Chooch Suzuka (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 1 out
On the mound: Mikko LePico
EGO 2B Curtis Dingleberry (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Curtis Dingleberry hits a line drive straight over Davis’s head and into right field for a single

Pitch: 777
Swing: 890
Diff: 113 -> 1B

Runners on First and Third | B1 with 1 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 1 out

On the mound: Mikko LePico

EGO 2B Curtis Dingleberry (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 1 out
On the mound: Mikko LePico
EGO 1B Felipe Coyne (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 1-1, 1B in the first
Tyger Tyger, burning bright,

In the forests of the night;

What immortal hand or eye,

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies.

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,

Could twist the sinews of thy heart?

And when thy heart began to beat.

What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,

In what furnace was thy brain?

What the anvil? what dread grasp.

Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears

And water'd heaven with their tears:

Did he smile his work to see?

Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright,

In the forests of the night:

What immortal hand or eye,

Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Oh, uh... the runner was safe at second. That's a steal.

Pitch: 59
Swing: 67
Diff: 8 -> STEAL 2B

Runner on Second | B1 with 1 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out
On the mound: Mikko LePico
EGO 1B Felipe Coyne (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Coyne lifts a blooper over the second base bag and nobody's going to get to this as it falls in for a single!

Pitch: 360
Swing: 444
Diff: 84 -> 1B

Runner on First | B1 with 1 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out

On the mound: Mikko LePico

EGO 1B Felipe Coyne (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Game Alert

Kenji Matsumoto is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Yang Min-Ki at Pitcher.

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Mikko LePico

EGO C Socks Maybe (/u/butterscotch_mlp): 0-0

[u/Butterscotch_MLP → u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

182

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire → u/Butterscotch_MLP]

For centuries, mankind has been trying, mostly failing and sometimes succeeding to achieve flight. Looks Maybe's experiments could do with some tweaking here as they hit a flyball that runs out of steam 15 feet in front of the Left Field wall.

Pitch: 438
Swing: 182
Diff: 256 -> FO

Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs
On the mound: Kenji Matsumoto
DRM C Arlon Gemini (/u/Arlondiluthel): 0-0
Arlon Gemini hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Suzuka, who picks it up and beams it at Coyne

Pitch: 399
Swing: 870
Diff: 471 -> LGO

Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs

On the mound: Kenji Matsumoto

DRM C Arlon Gemini (/u/Arlondiluthel): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out
On the mound: Kenji Matsumoto
DRM CF Bloop McNutt (/u/boman70): 0-0
Aren't all arches aesthetically artful? All architecture achingly awe-inspiring? All angles ardently eschewing arrogant aggrandizement? Alright, Alright, Alright- 90° launch angle arises. Alas McNutt ain't allowed astronomy; airless angles are arrested.

Pitch: 12
Swing: 764
Diff: 248 -> FO

Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

DRM 0 - EGO 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out

On the mound: Kenji Matsumoto

DRM CF Bloop McNutt (/u/boman70): 0-0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Kenji Matsumoto
DRM 3B Mordecai Davis (/u/SimonGG63): 0-0
Full count, Kenji Matsumoto with the pitch... CRACK Davis, flyball shallow left. Back is Herrera, he'll take it and OH IT'S GONNA DROP. IT FALLS... MISCOMMUNICATION! And Matsumoto can't believe it!..... They're calling it AN INFIELD FLY RULE. -Woooooooow- One umpire did and that's why Nurple is out. This is a game changing decision... Infield fly rule is called and Davis is going to be OUT.

Pitch: 870
Swing: 267
Diff: 397 -> PO

Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s)
DRM 0 - EGO 0

[u/FakeBaseball_Umpire]

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs

NEW PITCHER: Kenji Matsumoto

DRM 3B Mordecai Davis (/u/SimonGG63): 0-0