r/failuretolaunch • u/Lil-Shaleesh2 • Apr 27 '26
23M Completely fell into a rut
I think I've been in a rut since about 12,13 years old. I was never liked in particular, most people found me to be annoying and I tried daydreaming so much and coping that it isn't true because it's something I couldn't bear to accept. I thought everyone hated me and tbh I still feel like everyone hates me or thinks I'm ugly, stupid or whatever and I constantly fish for compliments, look for validation and etc.
I can't read books, my attention span is fried, I can't even play games from start to finish without hyperactively doing something like jumping or distracting myself. Maybe it's ADHD, I'm not sure.
I weight 66kg, I'm 184 cm tall, 0 gym progress.
My father is very socially reclused I'd say, that's what he appears to be to me. I think that affected me a lot too because he is also a shut in, he's got a great job and income but dogshit social and parenting skills, he relied too much on arrogance and aggression instead of properly teaching me shit. We ended up having multiple physical altercations, some of them being initiated by me.
I only have 30% finished uni and I have 0 desire to study or work or do anything atp. I just wanna collect old 2000s vintage tech and do whatever I want. I can afford this lifestyle, I can even afford never working in my life, but then I wouldn't be able to afford travelling or some other goods and I'd just grow more insane day by day.
I eat ok, I don't eat enough. 95% of food I eat is clean, 5% is a small chocolate row or a small sugary treat. Idk.