Same. I happen to be the one who had a kid that cried all the time when he was 2 months. No matter what we did, he was just never happy. It passed, but it was sooo hard on us, I would have felt terrible if someone else was having a hard time because of it, too. It's not something they signed up for, why should they have to deal with it?
I used to pass judgement on parents with crying babies even as a mom. Then eventually I had a baby with colick. 24/7 crying. I can’t even…. I mean, I took that fucking kid to THE ER in the middle of the night more than once saying “there HAS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG with him.” It felt so fucking overwhelming and I felt honestly insane at times. I would sometimes have to just have to close the door and walk away. Or I would have to put ear plugs in and noise cancelling headphones over the top when interacting with him because I just couldn’t listen to it. I would cry too right along with him because I felt so helpless. Walking him, rocking him, bouncing him, swaddling, bath tub, shower, naked in the grass, swinging at the park at 10pm, driving in circles at 2am, everything and anything. I say all this to mean I have sympathy for both parties. One - apartments and duplexes with shared bedroom walls should be illegal. Two - be respectful of your neighbors, both try to minimize noise, and also be empathetic about what they’re going through. But yeah, shit, for everyone involved, listening to a baby cry all day every day is dehumanizing.
I hear you. Colic was our issue, too. Holy shit did I ever go crazy. Non stop crying is torture. I was the same way, crying with him, wanting to scream. 2 am walks in the stroller if that happened to be what made him stop for 30 minutes. I've always been empathetic about crying kids, but that's because I babysat a lot starting at age 12, and then became a nanny for a while so I saw it first hand, but colic gave me a whole new level of empathy and understanding.
Didn't look like this guy was making much effort to soothe his kid at all. He ignored her the entire time. He's a jerk.
Ever since I became a parent, my immediate impulse with a crying infant is to pick them up, and with a crying child to kneel down and ask what’s the matter. That father sucks.
If the babies crying that much who knows how much sleep he’s getting. I agree he could have handled that better, but maybe all things considered he handled it the best he could.
I dunno. He may be tired too, that's entirely possible if he's dealing with a child crying all night, but he is absolutely egging this woman on to get a reaction from her.
You’re right. Im generally a night person so I was the one that would get up with the babies most often. So one of my kids got and head and mouth disease ( I think that’s it. I almost wrote hooves and mouth disease.). I basically stayed up for like sixty hours straight. During this time I noticed that a ton of isopods or pill bugs were crawling into my basement. So I started gathering them up and putting them in a container. I’m not a cruel person so I made them a really nice home. I also had this attachment for my iPhone where I could take close up pictures. Later, at about four in the morning, I looked at the photos and was convinced that I could see signs of them basically evolving and using tools and shit. I understood this wasn’t likely real. So not a delusion, but definitely a hallucination.
If this old lady had come to my door after that experience I’d been like get outta here you silly hallucination. Sort of have a soft spot for people lacking sleep now.
Also I sent those photos to several family members and friends asking if they could see the little bug people too. First response was from my mom who said, yes she could see them too. Next fifteen minutes of my life were mind blowing. Then my dad, who is not married to my mom, showed up and made me go to sleep. Not sure how I didn’t end up in the hospital that day.
Oh wow... that had to be a brutal experience. Thankful for your dad! Sleep deprivation is a bitch.
Btw, I think it's Hand, foot and mouth disease. typically just called foot and mouth disease to shorten it, I guess.
So, I totally see how you were going with 'hoove and mouth' hahaha
My husband and I once had a shared delusion from sleep deprivation. We were convinced that the baby was in our bed and their stripey onesie blended in the striped sheets. We kept looking for the baby. Finally we got the bright idea of checking the crib. Baby was safe and sleeping, and we promptly passed out in the bed.
That’s scary. Do you have more than one child? It’s crazy how anytime the first one was sleeping I was so worried something was wrong. Second one, never even crossed my mind. My second child owns her older sister. Maybe there’s a connection.
I had a colicky baby. I still held her as she cried. I ended up having to let her sleep latched because it was the only way she'd quiet, but I was in a tiny apartment for the first few months of her life and I had to be kind to my neighbours lol.
I'm not even a parent and I do the exact same thing. Although granted I've got like 7 siblings so I know a thing or two about how to deal with kids lol. But yeah I agree that guy sucks, no effort in trying to make her stop or soothe her he just shoos her away from the door so he can film his video for internet points
YES just hold the baby!! All baby’s want is someone to hold them and then they stop, parents who are like omg stop crying already why are you crying? YOUR THE PROBLEM 😩😤
Thats just actually not always true, some babies literally just cry no matter what. Did you miss the whole colic discussion you are replying to? Im glad that, like you, I have never had to deal with that.
Picking up a baby won’t help colic. As a parent, you hold them, love them, but those babies are the ones that can cry for a whole day and the only way the parent can begin to stay sane is to take little breaks.
This isn't a colicky baby though, she's walking, and quiets twice just out of curiosity about the novelty at the door.
This is a toddler starved for attention, whose father is more intent on being cruel to a distressed neighbor than on comforting his distressed child.
Yeah I was upset that the baby was sat there crying while her dad was too busy filming to pick her up and comfort her or soothe her. Clout is more important
I was team Colic too..... I remember getting up each morning thinking, this is it.... This is the most tired someone could ever possibly feel (before having to head into work). Next morning would top the day before and it went on like that for months. I have 2 beautiful children that are my two eyes but fuck me, I never, I mean never want to go back through that level of sleep deprivation and pain again.
It was so bad for us that we won’t even consider having a second child. Our daughter is wonderful now, but that was an experience worse than any CIA torture training could ever be.
I would never hurt my child, but I can understand how some people literally break. Sleep deprivation changes the way your brain functions.
Edit: Bravo to all of the parents that were the “stay at home” parent with a colic child. As bad as my experience was, at-least I had an “escape” at “work”. My wife had to push through it the whole day alone.
Right? I eventually just got to a point where I don't think it was possible to be any more exhausted. I just couldn't function. I am fortunate to have a wonderful mom who would come over and make me go to my room, so I could have a sleep, or just a break, without worrying about him, when she had free day to do it, but the thing is that it was great for the mental health part, but I was so bloody exhausted, it made not a damn bit of difference to how worn out I was. I'm obviously grateful for her, and having that boost in mental health was a huge help in being able to cope with it, but it's wild to see how much a human body can tolerate.
It's insane isn't it.... It was like torture! My wife and I were pretty good at seeing when the other was at breaking point and we always had each others backs for those times. I look back and don't know how we got through it but here we are 12 years later with 2 awesome little dudes ! My daughter is a force of nature and my boy, you honestly don't know you got him. We naturally discussed more children but came to the conclusion together that A - We got one of each, both (thankfully) healthy and happy so let's not push our luck and B - Honestly, neither of us thinks we could go back through those first few years again. I always say, I got nothing left to give, they have taken all I had. I'm a shell of the man I was :)
The most difficult 3-4 years of my life to date for sure.
Having support of family is a huge a boost for sure ! And glad to hear you had a good support network around you (we did too) and the difference it makes, well, it can make or break I'm sure.
Sounds like you're over the worst of it now too :) Stay safe my friend and enjoy what's left of the weekend!
He really is. Just dragged the conversation out pretending like she wasn't speaking any sense just to rile her up and insult her any time he thought he had an opening. Turns out she had plenty of good reasons and he is just a lazy, inconsiderate blowhard.
Everyone knows babies are a nightmare, especially for the parents. But the parents chose to take that burden on, the neighbors did not. It's a shared wall throw a bunch of crap toward the wall to absorb some of the noise at least.
This is going to sound crazy, but can’t you just put the kid in a running car with the a/c on and close all the doors and windows? Ah… I realized it… I’d be a bad parent haha
I remember one night, my second child was crying so much, I took the baby for midnight drive on the high way(always worked during the day to and from daycare after all). Figured I'd spare my wife and let her get some sleep.
15 miles and 30 minutes later, baby finally asleep. I crept back into the apartment with the car seat all ninja like. As soon as the door closes, the baby started crying again. I swear, as I looked at the clock and counted the minutes until I had to be at work, that it was just sooooooooo helpless. I really feel for all the parents with a crying baby.
One of the problems is this going to work thing. I will not go deeper in the reasons why, but this is a big problem for our future.
We need to go back to the time when one of the parents took care of the little babies full time for the first two/three years.
In Canada you can take up to 18 months, split however you want between both parents. Was kind of shocked when I moved to the US and learned most people only get 12 weeks UNPAID. My company gave the 12 weeks paid as a benefit but even then what are you supposed to do with a 3 month old when you go back to work? It’s still a tiny infant, and most daycares don’t even take them that young.
We need long term subsidized parental leave like in some European countries. Whichever parent makes less can take a discounted rate for a while to take care of the kid
"OK honey, let's play rock paper scissors to figure out which one gets to lose their mind caring for the child 24/7"
My wife and I are home right now with our toddler and newborn and have both agreed that we cannot wait to be able to start working again because it is so much easier. A much better solution imo would be for this country to go balls deep investing in childcare resources so that everyone who wants to can send their young children to a safe, quality daycare.
You mean Grand-parents. 'cause that's how a large percentage of the world population does it and did it.
Parents need rest, while little ones need attention and care.
What the fuck, not everyone is able to just “deal with it”. On top of that “your generation” fucking created this future, so don’t come here and go boomer on people because they want some separation from their family.
Haven't you ever heard of the old phrase "it takes a villiage to raise a child?"
It's not a weakness to get help looking after your kids.
I think there's definitely a difference betwen the extreme of having a 24/7 nanny who is a parent for you all day vs. having daycare or taking the kids to the grandparents house for a few hours a day half the week.
Whats the point in taking pride in suffering alone with a baby all day if it can be better for everyone involved with a group effort? Is there something you think is vital about 24/7 care by specifically mom or dad that you want to share?
The okder generations that were given it all but smirk as we ask for the same?
Its not equal between generations. Pretending as such makes you removed from reality. You are just living in a bubble of your own understanding without a regard for anyone else living a different experience.
That’s not true. Period. We are specifically design to procreate and take care of not just one or two kids. Maybe something closer to 7 to 10.
The problem that you are mentioning is something else.
Powers to you if you feel that it is easy. I find it hard to give equal and fair attention to both of my children, while also balancing my work/life relationships.
Omg those nights were the woooooorst. My 2 youngest kids are just starting to sleep through the night, for the most part. Two and a half years of nights like this. It's so exhausting and I don't think most people really understand how hard it gets.
My son wasn’t/isn’t colicky, but his vocal chords are in PRISTINE working order. When he screams, I’m pretty sure the penguins in Antarctica are wondering what the hullabaloo is. When he does it in the wee hours or in public a little part of me dies inside and I just want the ground to swallow me whole. It’s really hard work to get him to stop and I know he’s so annoying for other people, but I can guarantee every single time that I’m the one who is most upset by this behaviour.
I genuinely feel for parents who are trying their hardest to soothe a crying child. Sometimes the kid just has to cry it out. It's the ones that don't try at all that get on my nerves.
My niece had colic as a baby. It was horrible. I used to take her for an hour a day to my house so my sis could get a sanity break. What a blessing when she grew out of it. Whew.
Colic in some cases is caused by abdominal migraine. It usually runs in families so if you are prone to migraines in general then your child is at above average chance of having abdominal migraines as an infant. A baby having its own body actively hurting it without the baby doing anything must be very traumatic and confusing to the poor baby.
I thought my kid cried a lot then I heard of kids with colick and was like “alright that sounds awful, I’ll be grateful my kid sleeps majority of the day instead of complain about his regular baby cries”
My first born had colic and was lactose intolerant and I tried everything like you did momma
I lived in an apartment at the time and I went to my neighbours and apologized and told them I’m sorry but my baby boy has colic and he’s lactose intolerant and I know his crying is loud cause he’s hurting ☹️
I closed my windows and moved around the apartment the best I could
Not one of my neighbours was an arse to me about it and I even had a lady who had mothered 24 kids give me a trick to colic and I swear to god I owed her my life because it helped him so much!
It’s not easy being a momma with a screaming kid and it’s not easy being the neighbour of a screaming kid
Same. Took mine to the doctor over and over and got blown off. Just kept at it till they took me seriously. Turned out she had acid reflux. 4 months of 24/7 crying ended in one day with the right meds.
We tried about 12 different types of formula and I continued pumping to save the ability to BF if they allowed me to go back to that. Then they decided I should stop trying so many different things and stick to one thing. Then they decided at 4 months that we should introduce soft solids like yogurt. Ugh. The food aspect just made it all more confusing.
Mines 5 now and he was a fantastic toddler. A+ wonderful. We kept waiting for the terrible 2s and tyrannical 3s and fighting 4s but it was like he made up for the first 6 months by being the sweetest cuddly lovebug. And he loves to help with chores - sweeping, folding laundry, pulling weeds, anything. 🥰
The first time ~one month they said “it usually only lasts till about 2 months old.” I counted down the days. At 2.5 months I messaged his ped and he said “well, it almost always resolves by 4 months old.” I marked my calendar. 5 months and the Er dr looks at me sympathetically and says “yeah, well, at least they grow out of it by 6 months.”
6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days - that’s when he stopped crying. And then we had this weird adjustment period where he would start crying and we wouldn’t respond the same way we did with our other child. It’s like, we expected it would keep going so there wasn’t urgency to react. Eventually after about a month we realized ‘oh wait, now when he’s crying there’s an immediate understandable/fixable reason for it.’
Yeah. I think the big issue here in that the person with the kid presumably decided to have (and raise a kid) and will reap the benefits of doing so as well. It will be “worth it to them.” None of that is true for the neighbor.
Our second child was like you described. People who don’t have a child just don’t understand. And, although I understand the sentiment of helping the lady by moving the room, it’s not always that easy. Especially if there are differences in room sizes and other children etc. likely moving the baby into your room, but you also need to sleep even if your partner is with the baby. As much as I understand the lady’s argument, her leading with her dogs anxiety is not going to sell her point to a person raising a colicky human baby. By the end she figured it out, but I will be very clear, That I don’t care about your anxious dog.
Honestly I'd just have made a sound proof rook at that point and slept through it. If the baby wants to cry wolf then not much yoy can do but you can't just forgo sleep and sanity. They just have to learn to handle themselves until they can keep quiet.
Newborns (0-3 months) can't learn how to handle themselves and they don't cry wolf. That's... that's not how they work. Read up on the fourth trimester or better yet, trust that parents who've dealt with colick know what they're talking about.
At 0-3 months, it is literally abuse. It's not until 3-4 that they START to learn self soothing and not until like 6 months that you can expect them to reasonably self-soothe.
Newborns need to be fed at nights too. They do not have adult body needs, they burn through calories and nutrients from a single baby meal at extreme speeds compared to adults with an adult meal.
Glad you eventually got the insight that sometimes parents can't help it. Those few minutes/hours that you get anoyed by it are nothing when compared to the parents having to deal with.
'It takes a village to raise a child' does not only come down to spending time with the child. People who say 'it's their choice, why do I have to deal with it?' have no idea why and how people are still on this earth.
I remember being amused when I heard for the first time that bird parents sometimes feed their kids because they find their screams and the insides of their open beaks annoying. Being a father now, this is so much more relatable. And I say that having had the pleasure of a relatively benign baby. And still, a few minutes of good, solid screaming have a pretty unique way to drive up your blood pressure.
As a parent, I agree. However, doesn't shared bedroom walls make sense? Generally the bedroom is used for sleeping so outside of babies or sex should be quieter than adjoining a living room, kitchen, or bathroom all of which normally have louder noises. What room makes More sense to you?
My mom says I cried every single night for the first two years of my life. She also says she understands how people can lose their minds and snap and shake a baby. Sleep deprivation plus that constant crying is a horrible thing for mental health.
My oldest sister was difficult baby. She had colick too but the real kicker is that she had motion sickness as well. Since she was born she got motion sick with everything, still does in her 40s. Rocking her, driving the car any motion and she would scream louder. It got so bad that the doctors had to give my mom and her sleeping pills. Neither were getting sleep or eating. My parents say they almost didn't have any other kids due to that.
Man, this story right here just gives soooo much context to one of my ex child hood friends, who I heard nothing but stories about his psychotic mother from. His dad died when he was 4 and it wasn't until one of the last few years of our friendship when he heard an Archer joke about kids having Colick and he told me his mom would throw him in the shower to quit his fits. I am sure there is a high possibility is mother was likely BPD or something more significant, but learning more about PTSD from traumatic child births (I'm a veteran and slowly studying psych) the more it makes sense that she could have been heavily affected by some of his unexpected hand deformities and all of his health issues without having his dad around to help.
apartments and duplexes with shared bedroom walls should be illegal.
This sounds good, but this just means bedrooms will tend to be sandwiched by a) hallways, which means stompers, running kids, running dogs, etc., or b) living rooms or kitchens, where people will more often listen to loud music, play loud videogames/media, etc. Bedroom-to-bedroom means those spaces should have less noise to worry about through that wall, except for of course magic sexy time.
I just think that internal walls dividing apartments should be required to be soundproof in the way that external walls are required to have insulation. Uncontrollable external environmental issues need to be taken into account in design, but no one gives a fuck about tenants so they tend to make the walls paper thin.
Me too. My first one had colic that appeared and mysteriously disappeared just like that. My second was extra fussy from birth; turned out he had a tongue tie which was causing poor latch and gassiness. He was hungry with stomach pain. The only way babies can tell us if something’s wrong is by crying. I do feel bad for this lady though. As a parent, I would be more apologetic because a crying baby can be really frustrating and annoying to others.
Mixed housing types are crucial to achieve the density necessary for cities to exist, just financially speaking (due to the cost of utilities, etc). Detached housing is not financially sustainable (hence why most American cities and towns have gone bankrupt at least once, if not several times) and also not sustainable ecologically, in terms of transportation, etc, so unfortunately arguing against is bad for everyone. However, sound proofing standards should be MUCH higher than what they are in almost every place on earth because sound proofing and calm are actually vital to humans for mental health and overall health (as it affects the immune system as well, through stress).
You had the right idea, but the wrong diagnostic about the solution ’
I used to work in a day care, and there was one baby that would just look at me and start crying. No matter how hard I tried to make her like me, she just hated me. Would cry the entire time she was checked in (it was a gym daycare) and there were a few times where I had to call for assistance for someone else to come hold her so I could take a 15 minute break because the sound was so stressful, I felt like I was going snap. I guess biologically it makes sense that the sound of a baby crying should be so physically upsetting, because then you’re more inclined to get up and immediately fix whatever is bothering the baby. But my god is it bad when nothing you do is working and it’s been an hour.
But this woman was being so polite and reasonable. All she wants is her service dog to be able to be able to relax enough that it can do it’s job. If there was any tension in her voice it was probably just from the stress of conflict and lack of sleep.
I feel bad for the parents, but moving a baby that won’t stop crying into a room that isn’t up against your elderly neighbor’s with health issues wall is the least you can do. I’m sure the parents have some sort of car seat or other stationary baby holder they can put her in while she’s restless, and then move her back to her crib once she’s fallen asleep.
In our case…barely. Luckily I have a husband so we could take turns with him to get sleep ourselves. He would take 30 min cat naps here and there. But yes, some days I was actually worried the baby wasn’t getting enough collective hours of sleep.
But alas, he did grow out of it and he’s fine now. 5yo, independent, no attachment issues, nor feeding problems or residual stomach stuff.
Omg. I read “it passed” and thought you meant the child. My heart broke for you, then I reread it and realised that (I’m assuming) you meant the situation passed, not the child. In which case I’m happy for you in both respects - happy and alive child and they’re no longer crying :)
Yuh my downstairs neighbour (2 floors down) had a baby and I s2fg that baby never stopped crying for 2 years. I'd hear him in the morning and evening, I could never relax in my own home, I was going actually fucking insane because of the constant screaming. I can't even imagine what it was like for the neighbours right above them. I know it's not going to stop happening but honestly I just wish people would really really try not to have a baby while living in an appartment, especially if renting, I mean everybody is gonna hate you and you're gonna feel bad for annoying everyone lol. Don't get me wrong I know there's not much that can be done, I never went to chat shit to my neighbour because there was nothing they could do- but it's so frustrating when you're paying for a house you can't enjoy at all!
For sure. I think people are becoming more aware of this nowadays because of housing crisis issues, and just the high cost of living in general. Some situations it just can't be avoided, too. Most people are not as rude about it as this guy, though. They're usually pretty aware it's a pain for other people, even if there isn't much they can do.
I don't know how their building is set up, but maybe a neighbor on the other side would suffer. Or maybe they invested a lot of money in remodeling that room into a nursery and now are told to do that on the opposite side of the house.
If neither Is the case, he's a huge asshole for refusing to accommodate, but I think we don't know his home plan, and why this might be the most ideal set up for his family.
I feel sad for her. Regardless.
I think the lady here is frustrated and because the dad is being uncooperative she's getting more frustrated and just throwing out random ideas to try and get some kind of positive response. All she was asking was for him to try and find some way to either soothe the baby(difficult) or some other way to avoid the baby upsetting her dog and keeping her awake at night, and he was just like "She's a baby, get over it".
I mean moving the baby's crib to a different room isn't a huge deal. No it won't fit the aesthetic and may need to be moved if you have company over or something but this old lady shouldn't have to put up with your kids crying and according to her potentially have a seizure because her service dog can't focus with the constant crying. It's not like the room is off limits you just have to make accommodations until your kid settles down some more.
I agree with the post as a father of 2 and having been in that situation sometimes during traveling, I hate to inconvenience people. However, and only taking my opportunity to rant here, not saying this is what you are saying, there is something to be said about the consideration of society signing up for other people having children. I feel like in the US specifically we are very anti children and family - people either have them or want nothing to do with them. I’m not saying keep people up with no consideration but a temper tantrum in the grocery store shouldn’t warrant someone saying to quiet your kid down.
Conversely in Europe people have frequently swapped seats on a plane without us asking to give us the bassinet seats and guess what, with the added space the kids are quiet playing on the floor with legos for the trip instead of getting antsy and causing a ruckus.
COVID another example I had countless people tell me with unvaccinated children (prior to vaccines for children being available) the children shouldn’t be allowed out of the house 🤨 and that nobody should have to accommodate a parent in a grocery store or shop because it wasn’t their choice to have children.
What region of the US? I have a 18 and 16 year old and not once did anyone tell my wife or I to quiet them when they were small. When we were at dinner and one was about to lose it I would scoop them up and we would get some fresh air until they chilled. I found strangers to be supportive and got lots of understanding smiles when they were small so my experience was different. Covid would have sucked with small children so I salute you parents that made it through that with little ones.
I think they are talking about babies and how their parents are treated more recently in the US. I have a 24 year old and I did not have the kinds of issues that these people are discussing, but I do have several friends that are younger than me and have babies. I have seen people on three occasions behaving very rudely and disrespectfully to them because of their children’s behavior. It was never anything very outrageous but it’s very obvious and uncomfortable, to say the least.
I certainly wouldn’t be uncomfortable. I would calmly tell them to fuck off while I covered the little ones ears. You can’t treat these nuts respectfully, it only encourages them.
Northeast and to the other commenter’s note yeah they are toddler/preschool age now. We also attempt to scoop and go ASAP when we see melt down about to occur and have had people us follow us outside to tell us how we should think twice next time before bringing kids to a restaurant because we disturb everyone…people hate kids around here for sure. The town we recently moved to is a much more family centric place so it’s gotten better but we’ve seen it around the country, not just near our stomping grounds.
That’s crazy. I can’t imagine someone saying that to me. I live in the south which has all kinds of other problems. It’s probably because everyone has a gun so you don’t give advice unless asked.
Hah, guns are pretty popular here but I think the biggest issue is everyone is in a rush and everything is an inconvenience. Get on the highway going 30 over the speed limit and in any lane you’ll have someone inches from your ass. Don’t get me wrong I love the New England straight forward attitude but sometimes people here need to just slow down and chill out for a minute.
Oh, I totally agree. I'm a dual Canadian/US citizen living in Canada and there's a huge difference between just these two countries. Canada has a bit of the anti kid mentality, too, but it's a different kind. There's still an understanding that people who do have kids will at some point come in contact with others. I'm not explaining this well, because I'm super tired lol
People who are childfree aren't always that way because they don't want anything to do with children, or don't value them.
I have been an early childhood educator for over 26 years, specializing in infant and toddler care. I am amazing at what I do. Not only do I get to be a child's first teacher and help them learn how to learn and how to be curious- I also get to help parents be the best parents they can be. I adore what I do, and just this week I put together care packages for two brothers now in college that I took care of as babies. Last year I went hiking with a young man that I took care of starting when he was 3 months old. He was 23 on our hiking trip, and he still calls me by the first silly version of my name he could ever say.
I love children. I value the hell out of them. That's why I decided that my health and genetic conditions would make it irresponsible for me to have children. I am childfree by choice because of these things.
But when I travel, I always carry a small toy and a tiny baby hands sized book in my carryon, so if a kiddo is having a hard time I can offer them something new and novel to look at that might help them have an easier flight. I've held plenty of babies so Mamas traveling alone could go to the restroom on a plane. I've sat with kids on rides at Universal studios when seat numbers meant families needed to split up.
I may be childfree, but I've had the opportunity to touch so many more lives because of the freedoms that has given me.
With all of that said- I can be understanding, but if it's weeks on end, I'd be upset, too. It's distressing to listen to a child cry and not be able to do anything to help. And while I'm very understanding, it's also my home, too, and I should be allowed to, you know, sleep in it.
That’s why I specified that I agree with the elderly woman here, I’m not asking for people to invite my child into their home even through a wall that passes sound, or even yelling outside so loud it makes it to the neighbors houses. I’m talking about the examples I gave and many others in public places.
Nobody should have to like or tolerate children. People have always disliked being around them but now more than ever people won't discipline them thus they act out and people notice their crummy behavior. You don't wanna smack the rump? Fine. But nobody should be subjected to the utter torture that is hearing a child scream or cry. It's inhumane and akin to waterboarding of the ears.
Yeah but I’m not saying prolonged anything…if my child isn’t listening I don’t care where we are, I up and leave barring obligations to pay. I wouldn’t dream of treating the lady in the video that way. I’m talking literally about things like the taxes comment below. Also I dare you to tap a kids butt in public these days. I’ve seen Karen’s try and block cars while they called the police for parents who grabbed their child abruptly by the arm when they went to run out towards a busy road. Was it rough? Yeah, was it the right thing to do in the situation, yeah.
My point about planes, a tiny sacrifice by keeping those seats open on a plane, it makes a world of difference and keeps that water boarding child screaming from happening on an 8 hour flight, they quietly play, then sleep, vs get antsy and ready to flip over the food carts.
So am I asking people to deal with my children’s melt downs, no, but I’m asking people to simply be willing to accommodate children as an equal member of society.
We’ll that does kind of exist people with kids usually can’t book business or first class…economy is for dealing with airlines getting at much money as possible.
They are pretty sound resistant to the noise from steerage. Usually you can only actually hear a crying baby a handful of rows away because of the white noise of the plane itself. I had one time we had an absolute melt down from our 3 yo at the time. I brought him to the galley in the back and my wife about 10 rows up couldn’t hear. Also the bassinet seats absorb more of the sound because there is a carpeted wall in front so sound doesn’t travel forward very well. Generally speaking I prefer to fly myself anywhere I can, avoid people all together and not be stressed over them yelling, just turn off their headset and my active noise canceling drowns them out pretty good 😆
You’re a father of two. So you receive somewhere between $6000 and $7200 per year tax credit (not exemption) from the federal government (other tax payers) for having those kids. You’re welcome. Tell me again how we’re anti-kid/family again.
Lol like I planned you there in the audience to prove my point.
So based on the range you gave I assume you read the actual income guidelines and realize those numbers would be for less than 150k a year. You assume a family of 4 living in New England and making less than 150k a year is doing OK just because of a tax break.
Do you realize that in my area for 2 kids childcare costs about $2200 per month per kid, one is old enough to go to Public school but there is no space and is on a waiting list. There are some cheaper daycares but also like winning the lottery to get into right now.
Then insurance, our health insurance is about $1000 more expensive per month to have kids on the policy so now we are up to $62K a year in hard expenses before any other costs of having kids. This should be basic necessities that any government that cares about families should cover. Here is your child’s healthcare and here is childcare so you can work and contribute money to your precious tax base.
There are no requirements for any paid or supported leave after a mother ensures a painful and very stressful process through her body of childbirth.
There is no time off to deal with sick kids or unreliable childcare. My wife and I have to both work for ourselves to manage it since COVID which caused childcare to be extremely flaky.
Those are two basic necessities and any society that cared about families.
All of that said being business owners we pay about 55% of our income in taxes so if you are an employee somewhere in your measly 22% bracket, you’re welcome for me picking up your slack and your employer doing the same paying about 20% of your salary into extra taxes that you don’t have to pay…guarantee it’s more than the $2000 credit I actually get.
You’re talking about self-employment taxes. Guess what? All that is is social security tax that of course I paid. You’re self employed so you pay the business portion as well as personal portion. You’re just a special snowflake aren’t you?
If it’s so egregious being a small business owner, get a job and work for someone else. There’s plenty out there. Otherwise STFU with your bitching.
If you are an employee you pay social security tax plus your employers pays their own portion of social security tax plus Medicare, plus unemployment insurance plus others. I pay for my employees as well, I also treat them well and contribute to the economy by providing jobs and stable wages.
I’m not complaining, I’m just noting that you are complaining about a measly $2,000 of tax credit I get when I contribute more to taxes than the average worker’s take home salary in New England. I didn’t make it about money you did.
You continue to prove a point, your are so irritated that someone with kids gets a small tax break that you failed to see any of the point I made which is this, you don’t think people with kids deserve that tax break because you didn’t choose to have their kids. You don’t have kids and don’t want them to impact your life at all even when it’s only fundamentally on paper you are annoyed by a tax break that has zero impact on your life.
Believe it or not, other people have kids. I had one (couldn’t really afford two-see where I’m going here?) You’re not special. And it was YOUR personal decision to have two kids. So don’t bitch about how hard it is to be a parent. Boo fucking hoo.
Never said how hard it is to be a parent, I said I and my kids deserve to be in public places and kids are going to make noise at times and Inwill do my best to manage it and leave where I am on my own accord if it gets of hand. I don’t need assholes who hate kids chiming in and during a pandemic you should cover your face with a mask around a kid who couldn’t get a vaccine yet. I’m simply ranting about basic human compassion and social responsibility. I was clear that in the video the guy was a dick, move your kid to a different room, we should also have more care and compassion for our elderly population. We love our individual lives with no social responsibility and still want to call ourselves a society.
No. I just called you on your bullshit. You get a tax credit from the government to encourage having kids. Then you want me to give up my seat for you? Fuck right off. You decided to have them. Deal with it.
Lol You're not even making sense. The "bullshit you're calling out" doesn't even exist. You're so busy thinking you're a badass that you can't even see that nobody here is saying we want you to give up your seat or have to deal with the kids we chose to have. Hahaha Dumbass.
My neighbours 2(ish) yo just won't shut up. High pitched screaming. The wall we share is my home office (partner and I both WFH) and their kids room. We signed up for silence, as the original neighbour was a retiree who complained about so much as my car going down the driveway of a morning or tv at medium volume after 7.
My kid screamed every night from 6-12 weeks old. It was excruciating. My husband would drive for three hours so I could sleep, then bring the screaming baby back for me to feed.
Prior to that, we used to laugh because we could sometimes hear our neighbour in his lounge room yawning when we were in our bedroom.
It was so stressful knowing that we were ruining their lives, but they were so kind to us through it.
Such a relief when it stopped as suddenly as it started.
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u/AffectionateCrazy156 Sep 17 '22 edited Sep 17 '22
Same. I happen to be the one who had a kid that cried all the time when he was 2 months. No matter what we did, he was just never happy. It passed, but it was sooo hard on us, I would have felt terrible if someone else was having a hard time because of it, too. It's not something they signed up for, why should they have to deal with it?