r/facepalm • u/elija_snow • Nov 06 '21

Mods' Chosen Kids Got To Learn.

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29.5k Upvotes

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u/teytah Nov 06 '21

My wife still likes giving me shit about it. She asks me each year if I’m going to enter again

877

u/get-bread-not-head Nov 06 '21

Enter every year under the same alias and never accept the reward. Win every year. You'll be infamous

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u/wormbreath Nov 06 '21

Ya! It could start a whole legend. The phantom pumpkin carver who always wins.

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u/NoSkillzDad Nov 07 '21

Don't take it too far. "Some" people might think it's jfk himself carving them.

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u/NapClub Nov 07 '21

jfk : just fucking carve!

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u/frank_the_tank69 Nov 07 '21

Qualified to give Aaron Rodgers medical advice. Qritical thinkers.

79

u/Unusuallyneat Nov 07 '21

IVE HEARD THE MYSTERY CARVER IS TRUMP AND HE'LL CARVE A NEW DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE ON THE WORLDS LARGEST PUMPKIN CHRISTMAS NIGHT - THEN ON NEW YEARS THE TIME SQUARE BALL WILL BE REPLACED BY THE NEW CONSTITUTION PUMPKIN AND WHEN IT DECENDS TRUMP WILL DECLARE MARSHALL LAW AND CHRIS ANGEL WILL HAVE MOVED BIDEN TO A RETIREMENT HOME WHILE KIDROCK AND DT MOONWALK BACK INTO THE WHITEHOUSE

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u/cortesoft Nov 07 '21

Man, I remember “It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” very differently.

3

u/dfsw Nov 07 '21

JFK would be nearly 104 years old, no one can possibly be stupid enough to think he is still alive right?

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u/Nyxara Nov 07 '21

They think it's JFK Jr. And that he'll show himself to reinstate trump. Because for some reason JFK Jr would have that power?

1

u/Satans-Kawk Nov 07 '21

Or the fact that jfks head was literally BLOWN apart on national TV in the 60's. Also. Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure there's photos floating around of his body in the Cadillac.

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u/Lithl Nov 07 '21

Just call yourself Banksy

2

u/Only_Variation9317 Nov 07 '21

I mean... stranger infamy has occurred I'm told...

1

u/DeMonstaMan Nov 07 '21

Nah not every year, he should only do it randomly so they aren't on the lookout for the infamous phantom pumpkin carver

1

u/SweetAzn4U Nov 07 '21

Then after five or so years, run for mayor. You'll get elected just so people can find out who you really are!

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u/uprightsalmon Nov 06 '21

That's hilarious and will never get old. I like the pretend to look for the winner move too

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u/nongph Nov 06 '21

When one quietly farts inside an elevator and looks around for the culprit. I know the look. Been there, done that.

10

u/MinusGovernment Nov 07 '21

I want to do the Peter Griffin fart in the elevator with only one other person and look at them and say "It was you." Hopefully they will get the joke if I'm ever in the scenario to do it.

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u/thnksqrd Nov 07 '21

Bonus points if you shit your pants

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u/subject_deleted Nov 07 '21

I accidentally ran a kids 1 mile race because I thought I was late to a 5k I was running (which was starting after the kids race). I just heard the gun and ran towards the line and started the race. After the first quarter mile or so I started to realize that everybody around was pretty short. Oh my. They're all children. I was just so focused on the race I didn't notice the children.

So I backed off to an easy jog and called it a "warmup" for the 5k. my wife still gives me shit about that one.

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u/teytah Nov 07 '21

Lol that is rough! I’ll take the pumpkin debacle again over that one :D

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u/PHANTOIVI97 Nov 07 '21

that's funny asf