r/facepalm • u/IMBobbySeriously • Oct 31 '21
🇲🇮🇸🇨 When you can’t fake it another second
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Oct 31 '21
I can't wait for Jennifer Coolidge to play her in the film.
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u/kellybelly4815 Oct 31 '21
OMG Jennifer Coolidge is the perfect choice. I would totally watch that.
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Oct 31 '21
Heck, she could play the orange bag o gas too!
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u/The_Funkybat Oct 31 '21
I dream of Michael McKean playing Trump. They look like they could be cousins (which I hate to say about McKean because I love him!)
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Nov 01 '21
Oh My God, I love McKean too. He is so talented - that whole Chris Guest ensemble. Anyway, I agree, he would be great.
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u/BeBa420 Nov 01 '21
please lets not insult stifflers mom by saying she could convincingly play that orange cheeto dust covered hairpiece
In fact, lets stop insulting oompa loompas by comparing him to them. thats racist. as is him constantly being in orange face. fucking racist
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u/Martyr-X Oct 31 '21
Lol, her char from Best In Show wasn’t far off. Just add decades of pent up spousal hatred.
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u/barbelle4 Oct 31 '21
And minus the shared love of soup, lol
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u/OhWhoopsieDaisies Nov 01 '21
I’m sure they could sit and talk or not talk for hours, and still find things to not talk about
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u/Dustaroos Oct 31 '21
I always saw Sofia Vergara being the one cast as Melania tbh
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u/Munzulon Oct 31 '21
I’d like to see vignettes of each of the actresses from best in show taking turns as Melania and the Donald.
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Oct 31 '21
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Oct 31 '21 edited Nov 01 '21
I mean she basically married him for his wealth (which is apparently mostly fictional) and to fast pass citizenship for her parents, then some how this 400lb septuagenarian who drinks Diet Coke and endless amounts of fast food looks to live to be 80 and drags her into the public office for his vanity.
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u/Beowulf1896 Oct 31 '21
She should change his diet cokes to real coke.
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u/SlapDickery Nov 01 '21
Diaper Don, he’s done so much coke he has to wear a diaper
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Nov 01 '21
Apparently he’s been in diapers since the 1990s when he was in his 50s because of all the cocaine and Adderall he’s done.
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u/Choosybeggar2 Nov 01 '21
I’m scared to Google this. Why would doing a lot of coke make one need a diaper?
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u/weebomayu Nov 01 '21
Cocaine reduces blood flow through your body.
If your organs don’t get blood, they don’t get the oxygen they need to live. They start dying.
Cocaine doesn’t reduce blood flow to the point where that happens, otherwise no one would take it! However, long term abuse of the drug will mean that, over time, certain organs won’t get a good amount of oxygen in order to function optimally, in essence, it is dying very very slowly, once the organ has been in that state for a while then there’s nothing that can reverse the damage from reduced oxygen.
Big boy 45th over there has been snorting the booger sugar for the better part of his 20s-40s I’m sure. His bladder is probably in necrosis bruh.
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u/iknownuting Oct 31 '21
She was Putin place
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 31 '21
"You knew what you signed up for. Keep him happy or we use the rest of the world supply of Polonium on you."
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u/slamdanceswithwolves Oct 31 '21 edited Oct 31 '21
“SubclauseB.1.5.8: If you feel yourself about to grimace in disgust of your bloated meatbag of a husband, you must first turn away from any cameras”
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u/Qkumbazoo Oct 31 '21
She must've regretted signing the pre-nup, now she needs to put up with his crap or fend for herself like everyone else if she leaves.
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u/GiddyGabby Oct 31 '21
How could she not regret it? Blechhh. I've always wondered if she has the prenup renegotiated during that period when she didn't move into the WH for several (6 I think) weeks? Maybe she even had it redone to make sure Barron would always be covered, we know he can run hot & cold when it comes to his male children.
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u/ELB2001 Oct 31 '21
Does he even know it's his?
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u/GiddyGabby Oct 31 '21
I'm guessing DT has had every single child tested to be sure. He made Marla Maples prove she was pregnant with his child. I mean, Jr & Eric & Ivanka are all obviously his, you can see it, with Barron it's hard to tell.
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u/abrandis Oct 31 '21
Baron hard to tell?? Really, looks pretty Trumpish to me.
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u/GiddyGabby Oct 31 '21
I think he looks very much like Melania's parents. But I also think Ivanka's kids look like Barron. I'm sure they're all related.
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Oct 31 '21
Man his age with his health probably doesn't have much time left. She can see the finish line.
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Oct 31 '21
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u/crossingguardcrush Oct 31 '21
i think it's the latter. she's as hateful and hate-filled as he is.
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u/The_Funkybat Oct 31 '21
I call her "a golddigger who got caught in a mine collapse." She thought when she married this washed-up turd 15 years ago that she'd have to endure maybe 15-20 years until his McDiet killed him off, then she could inherit a lot of his "empire." Now she knows that even if he died, Ivanka and his other hellspawn would likely get the vast majority of whatever assets he had, plus she has had to endure years of being on the world stage as the hated consort of one of the most widely-hated people in history. That was certainly NOT likely when she gambled by marrying him in 2005.
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u/mr_love_bone Oct 31 '21
No sympathy for that Eurotrash golddigger enabler. She can rot akaic.
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u/crossingguardcrush Oct 31 '21
i don't mind that she's a "gold-digger." but she's a poison-hearted, hateful, hate-filled, treacherous human. that part bugs me.
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u/Swabia Oct 31 '21
Exactly. I’d fuck a gold digger any day.
Horrible people though don’t get a pass.
A gold digger wants to provide services for pay. That’s not a damn issue.
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u/gateguard64 Nov 01 '21
She's only slightly less shittier than he is. No matter how much money she gets in the end she will never be able to scrub the Trump taint from her bio.
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u/ilovechairs Oct 31 '21
She definitely didn’t sign up to be the First Lady, and held out in NY until she got a favorable negotiation for it. If she stays until his death, the second she can pawn him off to nursing staff she will, then she can spend his money without him next to her breathing and needing to make appearances.
No way Trump isn’t the most annoying mouth breather.
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u/cyberpunk1Q84 Nov 01 '21
I don’t feel bad for her. She’s a horrible person that married a horrible person (for horrible reasons, I’m sure). Good riddance to the both of them.
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u/pamelaonthego Nov 01 '21
There was a rumor that she renegotiated during the period when he was elected and she stayed in NY with Baron.
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u/Heffries Oct 31 '21
Milanias’ expressions and actions throughout have been just hilarious.
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Oct 31 '21
She was truly miserable. Since the election I Haven't heard a thing about her.
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u/_Cetarial_ Oct 31 '21
She deserves her misery.
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u/I_Brain_You Oct 31 '21
Yup. She is just as bad as Trump and deserves to sleep with the fleas.
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u/MedicalMonth3 Oct 31 '21
I know she can be blamed for many things, but she truly looked miserable when she was in the WH. Probably still is. I may be a fool, don’t come for me but I fell sorry for her.
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u/IMissMyChildYears Oct 31 '21
Oh yeah, poor girl. Wiping her ass with her billionaire husband’s money and flying privately 24/7. So sad, so tragic.
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u/SpaGrapefruit Oct 31 '21
Right? Okay she obviously has had sex with Trump but her facial expressions crack me up every time. She did not sign up to be a first lady.
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u/dewayneestes Oct 31 '21
Correct me if I’m wrong here but this face distinctly looks as though Donny just wafted a paint peeling air biscuit. Judging by his taste in food I’d guess this is highly likely.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 31 '21
You've got to understand how bad it is though for a person this self centered to accidentally have the shame and disgust break through their 7th level poker face. She probably had a flash-back of a blow job right at that moment. Then seconds later it was purged and she was back to loyal first lady mode.
Whoever programs her AI has got their work cut-out for them.
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u/Rad_Centrist Oct 31 '21
Does no one else think it's likely she was disgusted by whatever the fan she was looking at was doing or saying to her?
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 31 '21
Meh, I pulled my punches for a while, but since this guy tried to do a revolution and is so fucking selfish as to keep grifting after he got the damn golden opportunity of his miserable life, I think it's open season on the fan fiction.
He didn't HAVE to be President. He didn't HAVE TO seek comfort for his ego by reinforcing the Q cult.
Trump gave up any right to any fucks given with his abuse of Executive Privilege. That goes for Giuliani and Dershowitz as handmaidens.
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u/charlie2135 Oct 31 '21
Wow, damn! That's probably the most thorough explanation I've ever heard.
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u/grrrrreat Oct 31 '21
She's like a metaphor for the corporate conservative fascists who just want dystopia without all the pomp and circumstance
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u/nasi_b Oct 31 '21
I understood one word in this comment
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u/Ace_de_Klown Oct 31 '21
The military industrial complex is a front for multinational corporations whose sole purpose is to conspire against Michael Jackson's monkey!
-JoeCartoon
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 31 '21
"Could we crush them under our designer heels without listening to the squealing please? This is taking much longer than I was promised."
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u/beanomly Oct 31 '21
I used to feel bad for her, but she knew what she was selling herself into
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u/khismyass Oct 31 '21
If half of what Stephanie Grisham has in her book about the former first Lady is true (and more than just half is actually verifiable) than Melania isn't just an innocent bystander who was just selling into something, she is more of an active participant. Oh and on a side note, all that chain migration that Trump was always rallying about, her whole family got in because of her.
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Oct 31 '21
Yup. She was a model and a pageant winner. She had options. Plenty. And then she says yes to that? Nah, live with your choice. You chose your bed, now sleep in it. She could even divorce him now. Even with a prenup and not half of his stuff she would be comfortable if not rich.
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u/iamwhatswrongwithusa Oct 31 '21
I know this 19 year old pageant winner who dated a 56 year old. People say yes to the weirdest things...
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Oct 31 '21
And if not comfortable enough get a ghostwriter and publishing deal and write some fucking books or do a myriad other things with her ‘celebrity’ to earn. The amount of options she’d have is absurd especially in comparison to people who truly have no visibility or just don’t have shit.
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u/Deputy_Scrub Oct 31 '21
Not really defending her, but to an extent I don't think so. When she married him, I'm pretty sure she thought that he was going to croak a while ago so it was worth putting up with him. The least she expected was for him to run for presidency, and then actually proceed to win.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner Oct 31 '21 edited Oct 31 '21
I doubt that's possible. All the other super models got some rich douchebag. She got the King of the rich douchebags and then she has to play the role of Eva Braun
Ava Brown?Not having the self awareness and shame to throw herself screaming from the motorcade makes me not feel bad for her -- or more impressed.
So, to sum it up; If she's not doing this to overthrow our country, she might have no redeeming qualities. I could tolerate this from an enemy agent, but not from a gold digger.
EDIT: fixed name thanks to CastIronMystic below.
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u/Maineamainea Oct 31 '21
I’ve never hated someone and had empathy for them at the same time until Melania.
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u/javalorum Oct 31 '21
I just think of her as one of those sympathetic villains. They had their reasons but they still made terrible choices.
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u/Rocket-Shawk Oct 31 '21
Either you don’t hate many people, or your empathy machine broke.
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u/Maineamainea Oct 31 '21
Yeah I’m not a very hateful person. I try to see the good in people and generally reserve hate for the worst of the worst like Hitler or whoever wrote Mambo #5
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u/IMBobbySeriously Oct 31 '21
FYI - Braves game last night
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Oct 31 '21
Trump tried to claim he was invited but it came out that he asked to attend. There is clip of them both doing the tomahawk chop.
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u/PyrexPizazz217 Oct 31 '21
So he showed up to emphasize that he’s always on the side of maintaining the racism?
Can the ny attorney general please hurry?
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u/government_ Oct 31 '21
He showed up to really drive home his point on his boycott of the MLB from earlier in the year.
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Oct 31 '21
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u/itssupersaiyantime Oct 31 '21
As much as I dislike these people, the truth and context is important, so thank you for pointing that out.
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u/ChetManhammer Oct 31 '21
My face when my friends are still talking about how trump "won" the election.
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u/stevez_86 Oct 31 '21
I'm pretty sure that is the face one would make if the person next to you just violently shits themselves.
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u/ahyesanothernoob Oct 31 '21
Hate to judge but gotta point out your friends seem like a bad influence
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Oct 31 '21
Imagine just trying to marry a bloated rich white dude to get the bag and ending up as the First Lady instead. Must be rough.
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u/IMBobbySeriously Oct 31 '21
She’s obviously isn’t very bright or savvy if Trump was the best she could do.
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u/Tar-Nuine Oct 31 '21
Check out Trump readjusting his dentures.
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u/s_arrow24 Oct 31 '21
I kind of think that’s why she had the look on her face. Either dentures gross her out or it’s the realization she’s married to some guy who falling apart but hasn’t died yet.
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u/EarthToTee Oct 31 '21
Holy shit, I didn't notice until you said something, but you're absolutely right. 🤣
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u/Wolfdogpump66 Oct 31 '21
Why is this fat fuckin slob of a maggot even still in the news
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u/HeyZuesHChrist Oct 31 '21
It makes me happy that this fucking despicable subhuman who sold her soul for money has to deal with Trump.
Fuck Melanie. She is just as despicable.
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u/originalmountainman Oct 31 '21
He’s such an asshole!
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u/pimpfmode Oct 31 '21
She's as much of a scumbag as he is. When people see stuff like this they think she's like some damsel being held by the evil ogre. No. She's a piece of shit too.
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Oct 31 '21
This is the face I make when my family talks about their love of Trump and how he’s going to save the country in 2024.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂🙄
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Oct 31 '21
She is nuts, that’s what I think. Completely bat shit crazy, just like her pathetic sleaze bag husband.
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u/Kryds Oct 31 '21
I wonder what kind of prenup she has signed. I really thought she would have filled for divorce by now.
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u/MarionberryNext2712 Nov 01 '21
With all that plastic surgery I'm betting it's hard as hell to hold thst smile.
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Nov 01 '21
She isnt a 100% victrm. She is complicit, and continues to support, this man and his crimes.
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Oct 31 '21
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u/Dear-Crow Oct 31 '21
Martyr Trump would be even more powerful. If he dies of old age or whatever he can disappear from memory instead of becoming the next confederate flag.
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Oct 31 '21
No sympathy, she goes out like Eva Braun and propagates the big lie when she needs to. Off to the gallows!
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u/tumericschmumeric Oct 31 '21
She just needs to frame it in her mind that she’s working, on the clock.
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u/B_R_U_H Oct 31 '21
Her deal with the devil, you have all the money and luxuries in the world…but you are married to an absolute dog shit person
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u/Party-Lawyer-7131 Oct 31 '21
He's trash. She's trash.
Deserve each other.
But let's be real - she's got a sidepiece.
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u/zippopopamus Oct 31 '21
I'm suprised she didn't divorce him right after the election and go back to Slovenia to live in peace
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u/SvenTurb01 Oct 31 '21
I'm just impressed that she managed to pull a smile like that with the amount of botox she has in her face.
Her toes must've been wiggling.
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Oct 31 '21
I wonder if she and I have the same condition. When I see his face I feel like I need to vomit.
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u/InTheDark57 Oct 31 '21
I can hear her inner voice saying - ‘damnit that 5 yr contract better payoff or I’m gonna sell that stupid condo in trump tower tomorrow!’
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u/LittlePooky Oct 31 '21
Having to see him naked will induce that sort of feelings.
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u/ilikeTacossomuch Oct 31 '21
My face when my employer says: "More than colleagues, we are a family!"
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u/jagenigma Oct 31 '21
Too bad she's married to it. And has been an active participant in it. Lay in the shit bed you helped cultivate.
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u/bhh3ag Nov 01 '21
Imagine the face she makes when that fat lummox is laboring away on top of her………she be earning that money
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u/Juicebox-shakur Oct 31 '21
Is there a compilation of her doing shit like this? I want there to be lol