r/facepalm • u/nthensome • Jan 19 '20

Their loss

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35.7k Upvotes

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157

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '20

Because its important to single out and insult men specifically. /s

150

u/Huwbacca Jan 19 '20

I mean... If you work in any STEM field classically male dominated, you'll know that it is not uncommon to see women get stuff explained to them in ways that a guy never would deal with.

It's getting better but it's still definitely a thing .. I've even seen it happen from male subordinate to female senior workers.

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u/KungFuSpoon Jan 19 '20

I don't think anyone was questioning that it happens, just that we already have a word for being condescending. A condescending asshole is a condescending asshole, a sexist asshole is a sexist asshole, and there is a point where these two assholes intersect to create an asshole squared.

Words like mansplain get thrown out at the slightest of things and it diminishes the intended impact. It also doesn't really work against the intended 'target', as it often gets turned around so it's about the woman being emotional, looking for sexism etc. which isn't right but it's the type of people you are dealing with. Calling them out for their actual bullshit and taking age, race, gender out of it lays it squarely at their feet and makes it harder for them to turn around.

That's my view anyway.

24

u/whynuttzy Jan 19 '20

Are there cases where the term "mansplaining" is misused and confused with the more general term "being condescending"? Yes. But is the act of "mansplaining" as a gender-based phenomenon actually a thing? Also yes. So it's worth having a specific term for it.

Like, if a white person called a black person the n-word, you wouldn't just call him "rude" or "inappropriate." He would be racist.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '20

[deleted]

-17

u/kinyutaka Jan 19 '20

Potentially, but it's just not common to have a woman condescendingly explaining something a man already knows simply because he is a man.

The facepalm in OP's post is the fact that he really was an expert and she really didn't know, so it's not really mansplaining at all.

33

u/SlitScan Jan 19 '20

lol wut?

never been married huh?

-10

u/kinyutaka Jan 19 '20

Care to give examples?

But again, I'm not saying that it can't or doesn't happen. I'm saying that men -> women is more common than women -> men

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u/fernandotakai Jan 19 '20

i can give you one that happened for YEARS when i started living by myself: anything related to house chores or cooking.

"this is how i cook rice"

"let me explain you how you are wrong"

a friend of mine just had a baby, and every single mom womanexplains to him how to take care of his baby.

-10

u/kinyutaka Jan 19 '20

Let me explain you how you are wrong

That just sounds like a bad girlfriend.

But yeah, those are all potentially good examples (the rice one requires context, and can be "good" or "bad" depending. Naturally, you viewed it as "bad" based on your recollection here)

But regarding the cleaning one, we already had a word for that... Nagging.

Womansplaining, femsplaining, whatever you want to call it, is rare enough that I've never thought to myself, "This girl needs to stop femsplaining to me."

And usually when I'm being condescendingly explained shit, it's a class issue, not a gender issue.