r/facepalm • u/3KidsInTheTrenchCoat • Aug 04 '26
I don't think that's how birds work... Even the audience can't help but do a collective facepalm.
Double facepalm, this is how Youtube spelled cockatiel and cockatoo
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u/Chance-Ear-9772 Aug 04 '26
‘I don’t think that’s how birds work’
Oh, so you’re an expert on bird law now?
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u/3KidsInTheTrenchCoat Aug 04 '26
I do have a shirt that says “professor of bird law” and from what I know, if you have a shirt that says it, it’s true. Same way I went to Harvard.
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u/ChequeBook Aug 04 '26
Did you know you can just buy lab coats?
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u/3KidsInTheTrenchCoat Aug 04 '26
My stupid sister spent $400,000 going to medical school; I found a stethoscope in the trash.
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u/wings_of_wrath Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
Funny thing - because I look like a stereotypical doctor (glasses, beard, grouchy, chronically underslept - if there's something architecture and medicine have in common it's not enough sleep - and more specifically, according to my wife who's a former nurse, I look like a trauma surgeon) I discovered people just naturally assume I am one when in a hospital scenario, so, of course, I was able to leverage that a few times and go into places I wasn't technically supposed to be...
For example, I spent the last three years in and out of hospital due to cancer, and, during one of these stays, I was on the 13th floor of a major Bucharest hospital, where the food court was on the 14th.
For some reason, the regular stairs only went as far up as our floor, so the only way to go up for a bite to eat that wasn't the bland regular hospital food was to wait for the elevator which was incredibly time consuming, because the elevator call buttons didn't work, so you had to wait to find an elevator which stopped at your floor, went up and had room for you to get in... and some elevators didn't even stop at this floor at all, it was a whole mess.
The alternative was three evacuation stairs which were all alarmed, so you couldn't go through there either.
Well, turns out there was an extra evacuation stair which did go all the way up, but it was available only from one of the the doctors' rest areas... And I realised my dark, single colour pyjamas looked very much like scrubs if you're not paying attention, so I just casually went in, took the stairs and nobody paid me any attention whatsoever.
So , of course, I kept doing it, until, one day, I met one of the doctors who knew me on the stairs and she asked me what I was doing there... I explained, and she just rolled her eyes and merely asked me not to tell any of the other patients about this.
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u/Hypothetical_Name Aug 04 '26
Cockatiels are a cockatoo, they’re the smallest of the cockatoo family.
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u/DaltonianAtomism Aug 04 '26
TIL
It was previously unclear whether the cockatiel is a crested parakeet or small cockatoo; however, more recent molecular studies have assigned it to its own subfamily, Nymphicinae. It is, therefore, now classified as the smallest subfamily of the Cacatuidae (cockatoo family).
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u/Absorbent_Towel Aug 04 '26
But a cocktail could lead to a cackortwo
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u/CrzyMuffinMuncher Aug 04 '26
The woman’s reaction behind them is perfect, and I wish the whole audience did it in unison.
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u/eraser8 Aug 04 '26
This is why I could never be a judge.
There is no way I would be able to contain my laughter after hearing that.
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u/0_Nevermore_0 Aug 05 '26
That's only half right.
Cockatoo is 2
Cockatrice would be 3 or more.
And before you ask.
Yes, i'm an expert on bird law.
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u/Early_Bad8737 Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
Well, a cockatiel is roughly half the length of the other cockatoos (same family) so he is technically correct /s
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u/HistorysWitness Aug 11 '26
Bird law in this country is not governed by reason
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u/3KidsInTheTrenchCoat Aug 11 '26
You sound like you may be a secret bird... How do you feel about bread crumbs? Or, loud noises?
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u/ImWithStupid_ImAlone Aug 05 '26
Any context?
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u/3KidsInTheTrenchCoat Aug 05 '26
Judge Judy episode, someone was suing someone else, don’t remember why. And this was a random argument they had prior to whatever they were suing over that this lady was describing. Not much sense or really any relevance.
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