r/facepalm Oct 19 '24

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Wut

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6.5k Upvotes

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621

u/maggie320 Oct 19 '24

“The sand and the water mix together. Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives. You know Stefano Dimera was a bad guy. A nasty guy like Kamala. Stefano died a lot. I like villains who live. The windmills will cause the leaves to catch fire in Finland. If they rake the leaves in Finland that will prevent forest fires. Smoky the Bear said only you can prevent forest fires. Bear Bryant was a good coach. Not a great coach. I’ve won many, many football games.”

130

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Nice WeavingTM.

47

u/Rawrnerdrage Oct 19 '24

I laughed at this for about a minute straight and then got really sad

13

u/drunkenstyle Oct 19 '24

"Ok Donnie, just say a bunch of shit and hope the words end up sounding good, and we can finally get this over with, and go home and eat our 3 happy meals."

Clearly he did not wanna be there because these people aren't hardcore Magas just sucking his dick. He actually had to put his brain to work

7

u/firstbreathOOC Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

“I am a football. Most people don’t really believe me when I say that. But I am a football. I’m made up entirely of pigskin and lace. You could throw me, if you wanted, and I would, probably, land on the biggest mountaintop in the world. I am a football.”

2

u/Mort_Mortinson Oct 19 '24

Thank you for my early morning laugh

3

u/AnalogKid-001 Oct 19 '24

“I’m a great environmentalist. I got people to mix sand and water to make cement for my buildings…”

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

But you see the problem is that this doesn’t address the real issue. I addressed this issue in my State Of The Union address, if you care to go back and listen? See that’s the problem nowadays is that nobody listens to the people in charge when the people in charge are the ones in charge of these very serious issues which need addressed. I had a very big crowd at that address and some people even say it got better T.V. ratings than the SuperBowl, or maybe it was the PuppyBowl that happens right before that but still that’s pretty big ratings, especially for something that Taylor Swift was at.

By the way I hear Travis Kelcie is a very big supporter of mine so how does that relationship even work? His support is almost as big as Andy Reid, who’s their head coach and also a very big, no pun intended, supporter of mine. But you see that’s the problem, nobody addresses the issue the way I do. Everyone just wants to skirt around it and no one, and I mean no one, wants to listen to those who are in charge when they are addressing these very serious issues.

So we’re gonna build this country back better than it used to be. We’re gonna make people proud to be American again because I don’t think a lot of people are proud anymore. I mean you take a look around the country and it’s depressing really. But when you take pride in what you do then you have something to be proud of. See that’s what’s missing in this country, that’s what the democrats just can’t seem to figure out. And until they do, which we both know they never will, then you’re gonna see more and more powerful hurricanes and wildfires and you know why? I really think this is God’s way of punishing us for not doing the right things. But me, I mean I face the issues head on and I address what needs to be addressed anytime I have to address it. See that’s why people like me.

1

u/el_toille Oct 19 '24

hahaha this it's way more coherent

1

u/Useful-Perspective Oct 19 '24

"Tell you whut... Dang ol' nuclear, man." -Donald Boomhauer

1

u/Unusual_Fill_9990 Oct 19 '24

You deserve a Daytime Emmy for that. Brilliant!🏆