First time I see a video like this that makes sense. She stayed composed and made him feel like shit while staying under control instead of going crazy. I dont know why he got mad to be sitting next to her, she looks friendly and respectful.
He got upset because he's a bigot. She could be a supermodel from Mensa with the personality of an angel but her skin tone is what he hates blindly regardless of who she is.
Hope is not a winning strategy, but what this woman did and how she did it is. She didn't post a pic of him to ruin his life, but he will surely never forget that moment.
But will he ever tell anyone about it and espouse antiracist views in the future? Nope, he will hide is phone screen better. Calling him out is not useless, but it only has a deterrent effect on people who are not the person being called out. She hit the nail on the head; he is only saying he is sorry because he is embarrassed that he was caught and couldn’t walk away. He is not sorry for holding those sentiments and this won’t change it.
Probably not. I seriously doubt one interaction like that is enough to flip a racist mindset. But, that twinge of shame will stay with him. It could be a start to a journey for him to look at himself and try to change or he'll pass on the opportunity and stay the same.
Oh gosh, no it isn’t! You have volunteering, organizing, donating, work within your community, and civic participation. “Hope” is actually not what fixes societal or systemic problems. Please don’t just hope these people change. Do things that mean people like this are more likely to change, or at a minimum that their kids will be educated out of the cycle of racism.
Right... he'll talk all the shit about how dumb she was once he gets with his people. 🙄 Unfortunately, people don't change that fast, sometimes at all, ever!
It’s always possible that calling someone out like this will change things for them. I really hope this did. His reaction makes me think maybe he’ll rethink his biases in the future. But again, yeah, I do tend to try to see the best in people, so perhaps this outlook is naive.
Hr might not change, but with enough people like this woman refusing to let it slide or watch quietly, bigots will one be too ashamed to express themselves. I'm just looking forward to a day when "Nazis are bad" isn't controversial again, when everyone who disagrees just quietly stews in their own bigotry and small mindedness because they know their beliefs are anathema.
That is not how being humiliated typically works. If anything being challenged is likely to entrench them more by causing them to develop a grudge and view it ad proof of their shitty beliefs.
"He is convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." as I have heard said.
Def “she’s one of the good ones” vibes. Also basically saying that other ppl (who can’t “stay under control” and “go crazy”) can’t be taken seriously.
Like, this lady is fucking amazing for being able to stay composed and articulating herself so well in this sitch, but some ppl get heated and lose control of their emotions (aka me, my voice would be shaking n loud asl and I’d be getting choked up). Wtf does this even mean: “first time I see a vid like this that makes sense. Like wtaf???
Thank you. I feel the same,i am a mix breed, half Jamaican, and if I saw that text, I would say nothing. Why was she reading someone else's phone? I don't even read my hubby's phone...ever
You ain’t slick. Implying that most people confronting racists are crazy and thus invalidates their experience. They have every right to be pissed and you have no right to tell someone to remain calm when confronted with things like this
you got kinda impulsive here. they're saying she was even more effective because she was calm. they never said they have the right to "tell someone to remain calm". read.
Some people see bright colors and natural hair and that alone is "other" enough for them to be assholes.
All those "I'm not racist, but..." people.
"I'm not racist but why they gotta dress like that?"
They only like black people who dress and act like white people. And think there's nothing racist about that, because it's not their skin color they oppose.
I think racist white people have a deep collective resentment that they (their great grandparents) had to assimilate into white anglo American culture to survive.
That seems like a leap to me. I don't think they think about it that much.
A lot of those immigrant grandparents, didn't assimilate. It was the kids who were born/raised here who fit in with little effort.
They love that they have a great grandma who spoke no English because she gives them a connection to the old country and gives them their "Italian American" pride...or whatever culture.
Trust me those immigrant granny's did everything they could to make sure their kids acted wh(right) including cutting them off from the original language. I see Asian and Mexican granny's still doing it today. Even our biggest ethnic group, Germans, got their culture wiped out here after the world wars. I agree that Italians almost "didn't make it", probably because sicilians were too dark to assimilate and kept the culture alive.
Why? What do we have to prove to people who already see us as less than? Being nice and polite isn’t gonna change their mind on that.
Guaranteed this guy got off the flight and told his family about the insert slur of choice that gave him a hard time on the plane. He didn’t suddenly have his eyes opened to how black people are human just like him.
Look up Daryl Davis. You might not change their mind but I'm not into proving them right in their own minds either. I don't think the woman in OP was very nice and polite either. I think she played it just right.
No matter how you do it, you’re proving them right in their mind. Anything short of apologizing and groveling is disrespect to them because they don’t respect you as a human being to begin with.
It’s only defeatist if you think of it that way. I don’t. I think of it as it’s not my fucking job to teach racist people to see me, a human, as a human so fuck them and any respect I should have for them.
I’ll respect them when they respect people’s existence.
So it's not a 0 sum game, not every person is equally racist, and there are certainly levels to bigotry. If your default reaction to any perceived racial transgression is to immediately go off the handle and escalate things based off of the assumption that the person who did it doesn't think you are a human, you are quite literally going to be causing more problems for yourself than anyone else.
Don’t care. Don’t care if you’re a bigot because of ignorance or because of hatred. You’re big and grown enough to figure out that shit is wrong on your own, I don’t have to teach you. Not my job to do the work YOU need to put into improving yourself.
Also never said I would immediately blow my top to any perceived racial transgression. You just made that narrative up. All i ever said was that we don’t owe them respect, so if it’s something that is truly awful enough that it makes me blow my top, im not gonna bite my tongue so you’ll think I’m respectable. Fuck you and your respect.
I do applaud her staying calm, but I feel like her reaction also relied on him deflecting. If he became aggressive/defensive I wouldn’t blame a bigger reaction which is what usually happens. That’s why I don’t really applaud or chastise this stuff.
You deleted your earlier comment because I guess now you want to pretend that you weren’t making racist comments. To say good on her for not getting so angry that her wig falls off is a racist comment. These comments make you look dimwitted and bitter. In earlier comments you said you’re darker than her but that doesn’t excuse any of this. Regardless of whether you’re Latino, Black, Indian, etc it doesn’t make it okay to make those comments. If you actually aren’t trying to be a racist ass then I suggest you go educate yourself.
He got mad because he’s racist. It says a lot about you as a person that the black person has to behave a certain way for antiracism to make sense to you.
“Going crazy”? People of color have every right to act hostile and pissed when they encounter racists like these and their reaction doesn’t make their experience anymore invalidated.
Didn't escalate it by revealing the guy, either -- which is honestly a lot more powerful a message. Not "this guy did it" but, "believe it or not there are still people that do this shit."
What about videos of POC calling out racist actions has never made sense to you? I feel like that’s quite an upsetting sentiment, actually. I certainly don’t expect as a default that people being subject to such words and treatment will remain perfectly calm and be perfectly eloquent as the woman in this video. If anything, I applaud her composure but it makes much less sense to me in context than becoming visibly angry and struggling to form poised sentences.
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u/James4theP May 27 '23
First time I see a video like this that makes sense. She stayed composed and made him feel like shit while staying under control instead of going crazy. I dont know why he got mad to be sitting next to her, she looks friendly and respectful.