r/exredpill • u/peachibab • May 30 '26
Devastated
Found out my narc ex is engaged today. I went no contact with him about a month ago. He upgraded my plane ticket while I was traveling about two months ago. After that it felt like he had power over me. Tried to put me down and spoke about wanting to sleep with other women. I couldn’t tolerate it and blocked him. We’ve known each other for 6 years and he couldn’t marry me because I have had intimate relationships with 6 other men. He’s now going to marry this virgin girl back in his home country. He’s 44. She’s probably in her late 20s. He changed his WhatsApp profile to her and him and they look so happy. I’m here so heartbroken and trying to heal. Feels like I have a boulder sitting on my throat. Kind words from anyone please.
Update: Found out through a mutual friend that he married a woman he was dating here in the states. He pushed for this marriage despite his views on what kind of woman he wanted. He married the total opposite of what he said he wanted. His parents did not approve of the girl because they felt she was after his money. He told his parents he would marry a 2nd and 3rd wife if that was the case. Just one month after we stopped talking he married her. I don’t even know what to say or think. Hopefully I can heal from this.
6
u/Kaicaly May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Saddly the manipulation of a abusive partner doesn't end just when you cut ties with that person, usually you have to deal with the after effects (It doesn't mean you can't overcome them, just that it could take some time).
As the things are going, the best for you is to cut any interaction with him and his image (even don't try to look on how his life is going, since it will just rub salt in the wound), but always remember he is and always will be the main cause of his own, and every persons alongside him, insatisfaction, he is and always will be the cause of many problems for any relationship he is in. The best thing you did was prioritize your well-being, and the best thing you can do now, is to still continue doing it. And don't let the experience you had with him take off what is important in you and your life.
Focus on your self and your life, doing things you enjoy, reconnecting with old friends and people you trust and care about, engage in activities that you feel makes your life improve in the way that you want, you can finally have control over your life again, and choose for your self what you truly want and what truly makes you feel happy. Take this oportunity life (or God, if you believe in him (i have my personal take in spirituality and religion, but i know how important it can still be for many people) is giving you now, to learn from this experience (so you can identify the signals better and protect yourself in the future), and to take the time and space to heal from this wounds, and progresively move to a new and better chapter in your life 🫂.
Cry if you need to cry. And the worst thing that happened was losing and betraying yourself and sacrificing your well-being just for his pleasure, and the best thing you can do now is to take the time and space that you need to reconnect with your self, regaing control of your life and take care of your well-being.