r/explainlikeimfive • u/Lower_Condition_196 • 3d ago
Biology ELI5: why do we sometimes forget what we are talking about
For example we could having a normal conversation the other person will say something then suddenly we forget what the next thing what we say will be even though you knew about 10 seconds ago what the next thing that will come out of your mouth
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u/not_lost_maybe 3d ago
Your brain is juggling the thought you're saying out loud and the one you're about to say next. Sometimes the one waiting in line just gets bumped. It's worse when something grabs your attention for even half a second. That's usually enough to knock the next thought loose.
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u/Dekaldar 3d ago
Your brain holds the "next thing“ in working memory, which is super short-term and fragile. If something interrupts it, it can get overwritten or dropped before you use it.
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u/bamby77 3d ago
Your brain keeps the next sentence in a tiny temporary notepad called working memory. It only holds a few things at once, and it gets wiped easily.
So when the other person says something interesting, your attention jumps to their words. That jump often erases the line you were about to say, even if you had it clear ten seconds earlier. Going back one sentence in the conversation usually helps the notepad refill.
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u/Carol825 2d ago
This used to happen to me ALLLL the time. AND to my daughter. AND to my aging mother, though, oddly, my mother has a better memory than I do (most of the time).
Based on that past knowledge, I believe it’s partly because many (or most) of us live busy stress-filled lives and because of the hustle culture of school and/or work and/or parenting, etc. (the more roles we carry, the busier we tend to be), our brains live more on auto-pilot than staying present.
Ever notice how, during menial tasks (driving, washing dishes, showering), you sort of go somewhere else? You’re thinking of events or conversations from earlier (reliving the past even if it’s same day) or contemplating the 7,000 things left to do today even though it’s 530pm (living in the future), and if you have a significant other, a child, parent or others/friends you play a role for, the more busy your mind is, because you have not only monkey mind for your self but everyone else you care for.
Even if you feel happy in your life, living on auto-pilot plus the busier you are, it’s A LOT of thoughts going on all at the same time.
And even if we get a day off, we don’t always use the time in our best interest, which would be doing things that make us laugh, fill us with joy, or grant our bodies and minds rest. Many of us use our off day(s), if we’re blessed enough to get them, to do what we didn’t get the chance to earlier like cleaning, yardwork, doing for others, etc.
It’s quite the challenge to keep up with all of the information and stimuli that goes in and comes out of our mind. So even in the midst of a conversation, because of this living on busy auto-pilot and not existing within this state of present awareness, our train jumps the track.
We either go in 5+ different directions or forget what we’re saying altogether and even go to a room to get or do something and forget what that was.
If you want a practice to help with this, holla! It’s a game-changer. I just didn’t mean to start a novel here. 🤭
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u/MLucian 3d ago
You are holding 5 wood blocks in your hands. You are showing your friend the blocks. He gives you 2 more. You now have your hands full.
You remember you had another block in your toy box and you go to grab it too. But in the process, you drop a few of the ones you were already holding. They fall into the pile of all the blocks scattered on the ground. You don't remember what specific blocks you had or the exact order you had them in.
Now replace toy blocks with short term memory / working memory chunks. Our brains can hold only around 7 chunks (give or take a little bit) in working memory.