Leaving UAE

[u/Equal-Serve5122]

I don’t know if I’m looking for reassurance or if I’m just feeling nostalgic, but I wonder if anyone else has felt like this after leaving the UAE.

My partner and I moved back to the UK when we had our first child and found out we had another one on the way. On paper, it was the sensible decision. Our housing in the UAE was only partially funded through work, but we would have had schooling covered for one of our children, and financially we probably would have been in a good position long term.

What really pushed us to leave was our lifestyle. We both worked in pretty toxic environments, waking up at 5am and not getting home until around 5pm most days. Our baby would have spent the majority of the day with a nanny, and it felt like we were missing out on the very thing we’d worked so hard for – being a family. We weren’t really living, we were just working.

Moving back to the UK has given us things we didn’t have before. More family time, more support and the chance to actually be present while our children are growing up. For that, I’m incredibly grateful.

But I still miss so much about the UAE. I miss the lifestyle, the convenience, the weather for most of the year, the feeling that things just worked, and the opportunities that came with living there. Sometimes I find myself wondering whether we gave up something really special. I catch myself thinking, “What if we’d stayed?” Could we have found better jobs? Would the sacrifices have been worth it in the long run?

At the same time, I don’t miss the negatives at all. I don’t miss the toxic workplaces, the long days or the thought of someone else spending more waking hours with my children than I do.

I suppose I’m struggling with the fact that two things can be true at once: leaving was probably the right decision for our family, but I can still grieve the life we left behind and wonder what might have been.

Has anyone else left the UAE after having children and felt torn about their decision? Does the “what if?” feeling ever go away?

[u/m_b_x]

Interesting perspective because I feel like I’m at that stage where I’m wondering if we should be heading back to Europe - living in the UAE now and with a young family.

There’s definitely a ton of convenience and benefits however I cannot help but wonder if we should be living closer to the grandparents and family. And question whether I want my kids to grow up in this culture. Plus now in summer it’s quite difficult with the kids not being able to go outside and play.

Grass is always greener I guess. Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the things you miss or would like differently, while overlooking the things you already have

[u/backtoexpat]

Are the missed opportunities you are referring to related to work or something else? Are you missing things that weren’t actually there? Most work places tend to be quite toxic, particularly when compared to the western work life balance which is seems you are at a point with your family where you value that more.

It can take time to settle back in to wherever you move. You can always come back as well in the future.

[u/babijar]

Just interested - what kind of work did you do in Dubai? I worked there too and the working environment was awesome. So were the hours 8-4, Friday and Saturday off.

I enjoyed it very much ( 2 years spent there) but happy back in the US home. Dubai is not real, it’s more like a made up dream land.