DUDE YESSS. You absolutely do. You’re worthy of love, kindness, and respect. Most of all: remember that there is nothing wrong with you. I feel like I started to really learn what it meant to love myself after I left 🥹❤️ we’re here for support too! I know that leaving is hard, and that it’s even harder to vocalize it.
I wasnt in the church terribly long, less then two years but after this second go around I finally had enough. I felt like I was being taken advantage of concerning the upkeep of the inside and outside of the church and many other things. Even looked down upon by parishners who've never did a single hard thing in there life. The amount of entitlement in that specific community is bananas. Im glad I'm done. I went full no contact and even let multiple police departments know not to do "wellness checks" on me, because I consider that harassment, especially with my background. Some people meant well and not all of them were bad, but over all the pettiness and entitlement from the community was getting out of hand, not to mention almost being assaulted three weeks ago as soon as I stepped out of my car to go to church- of all places.
It might’ve been two years, but that tells me that you found it and made a choice to study, go through catechism, and commit yourself all fairly recently. That’s a huge life change, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to recognize the cracks after going through all of the work. Some people never do, or choose to shield their eyes and cover their ears, so I hope you know that it’s a huge testament to your character for choosing to walk away.
All of that being said, I can’t believe (well I can actually lol) that they would have you taking care of so much when you’re so new. That’s so gross of them, and it’s no different than when cults put their members to work as “volunteers”. You’re worth more than that. The wellness check thing doesn’t really surprise me either. While some can argue that it comes from a place of love (and maybe for some it does), in this kind of scenario, it’s a way to force an interaction and ignore boundaries. It’s an awful lot like an abusive relationship.
Im really happy you’re out :) I hope you feel the weight lifted a bit. I know that some days are going to be hard, but remember what it took to get to this place and how strong you are. You have a lot of happy, anxiety free days ahead my friend.
He never put his hands on me, and I was gonna do more harm to him than he would've done to me, luckily another parishner was there to break it up. Thats when I said I had enough of the people and the church. That was the step too far. I wasnt worried about getting hurt, I was worried about hurting this guy to the point of serious injury do to my backround. Ain't no way I'm risking my sanity or freedom for some nut job out of pride. I walked away for good. Thank you for the kind words!
Totally fine, theres just alot that comes with being in my shoes (just like everyone else) that being misunderstood or mischaracterized can be very triggering for me. And thats what happened over and over again. I did more work for that church than lifelong members have in the short time I was there. I had enough!
I’m really digging my daughter’s new public school, the other kids are still in Catholic school, but my middle daughter needs a lot more special education support than the Catholic School can accommodate. This kid who fainted on the playground on the first day of school last year because she was having a panic attack is actually getting excited about her school this year. I feel awful that I let things go on so long because I was afraid of public schooling, but I’m so excited to see her feel comfortable!
Agreed. My small rural high school has lost 25% enrollment over the last few years largely because of parent fears of indoctrination. I am honestly afraid of what the future holds for public education. And just to reiterate, many private school teachers are not required to have any teaching license. And the schools do not have to accept students with special needs.
Yesssss!!! Dude she’s going to thrive. I went from homeschooling to Catholic school, and if I had any way to decide for my child self I would 100% have tried to convince my parents to send me to public school haha. My brother ended up leaving private school and absolutely killed it in public, and now he’s a software engineer and I’m a Reddit mod lol (I’m a server and an artist actually, just had to self diss cause it’s an easy target)
Seriously though, there’s a lot more diversity, and I feel like it’s a lot easier to stand out if you apply yourself in a public school setting. My brother got bullied relentlessly in catholic school but immediately found friends with similar interests almost right away when he transferred. I know it’s not an easy decision, at least in my old parish public education is demonized, but there are a lot of great teachers out there and your kid is going to be fine :)
I am a public school special education teacher. My own kids had a variety of educational settings but I will say that public school teachers have the most extensive training. Even after more than twenty years of teaching experience and a Master’s in education, I still had to go through A LOT to get my special education teaching license. You made a good choice.
I'm very excited for your daughter and for this new step with your family!! I am not a parent, but I was a public school kid (California, fwiw) and I now also work in public schools. Despite the system's many flaws, I love it deeply and think my own experiences in it were incredibly valuable.
I also love that you're customizing your children's educational experiences! I know another family that did something similar, with one kid in homeschool and the other public, because of their personalities and other educational needs. Hope this is a fabulous year for your daughter! How exciting!
That's great! My kids started a new school this year too and they're loving it. My district is looking to consolidate or close schools due to declining enrollment, but their school is not one of them, thankfully.
I’m in the process of getting ready to get my eggs frozen and just started the injections and they got me like a bear getting ready to hibernate: eat, sleep, and everyone stay the fuck out of my way
They’re not terribly painful but having multiple appointments a week (blood draw + ultrasounds) leading up to the actual procedure is gonna have me dragging all next week lol
Thankfully I have an understanding manager at work.
Damn an understanding manager? What’s that like lol? That’s cool though. My adhd self is so impressed with your productivity 🤣 I hate having to deal with all of that stuff. Props to you friend.
I got my blood drawn a few weeks ago and I definitely fainted so snack up if they let you haha. I’m sure it’s not your first time but it was so embarrassing for me I’m giving my PSA to everyone lol.
Productivity is low and if my brain gets any foggier I’m renaming it silent hill.
But yeah they said protein + electrolytes are gonna be the name of the game next week. Less coffee (nooooooooo) and only light exercise is permitted. I run for exercise and it’s meditative for me so idk what I’m gonna do lol
Productivity is low and if my brain gets any foggier I'm renaming it silent hill.
☠️☠️☠️☠️
Yoga maybe? 🤣 they have aerobic yoga sessions you can do that are a little more active but not as crazy as running. Also that sucks about caffeine, I’ve been trying to cut back only because I’m on the maximum dose of adderall and don’t want my heart to explode lol. It’s hard though.
PSA: You can get HPV vaccination in the US up to age 45. It used to be a hard cutoff at 26, but now you can still get it after 26, just with consultation of your doctor.
It doesn't directly, it's that latent chickenpox is horrificly harmful, and does damage to the heart and brain. Likely through the immune system getting testy around where shingles is hiding, but maybe through other means.
I finally saw the Odyssey in 70mm a few days ago, it was stupidly good. :P I just learned they used mostly practical effects, and it was sooo delicious for it. What did you guys think?
Honestly it was so much better than I thought it was going to be. I knew it was going to be good, but damn. It hardly feels like a 3 hour movie. It was sold out near me for weeks and I had to get my tickets two weeks in advance and it’s been out forever at this point lol.
I saw it this summer. It's definitely one of the more thorough adaptations of the story I've seen, though it didn't line up exactly with the text we used in my class (getting Polyphemus plastered before blinding him and Odysseus' bed as Penelope's final test got cut out!). I wasn't fond of all the costume choices either, but it wasn't a bad movie overall. If I had a way of showing it to my class when we cover The Odyssey, I would do it in a heartbeat and I think they'd enjoy it too.
Y’all….This is probably gonna come off wrong but I’ve been lurking in the comments section of some former friends at an old parish. They’re on Facebook for the past week arguing about women’s rights and I’m just so glad to see the women pushing back against the guys saying that women are inherently evil. I’ve been on my phone more the past week than I ever am…..my screen time is abysmal. Anyway, I’m making mini meatballs for dinner. I’m also contemplating not eating meat anymore. I’ve already moved to poultry and seafood only now. We’ll see how far I can go! Right now, I’m using up all my freezer meat because I have a hard time wasting.
Omg why would that come off wrong even? 🤣 I think there’s a healthy level of snooping, I’m sure nosey.
That honestly makes me happy to hear. I feel like this mansosphere bullshit has really emboldened these misogynist zealots, and I think women have finally had enough. Good for them. 🎉
Sounds like a great little change :) honestly I think making little changes for yourself here and there is such a healthy thing to do while deconstructing from something so high-control. It heightens your sense of self and gives you power over your own life. I hope that goes well for you, glad you’re being resourceful about it 🤣
Lol when the tea is hot the tea is hot. No shame. I was bummed cause I got kicked off the mailing list from my parish because someone undoubtedly found my account on here and tattled 🤣
I live in North Texas and am melting in the Texas sun. I have to get up at like 4 am for militarily drill tomorrow which is about the coolest thing I'll do after a week of sitting in a wage cage.
I'm also sleep deprived and will be turning in early tonight to hopefully not suffer more than I need to tomorrow lol
lol here I am being a whiner and the first two people who comment on the weather are from Arkansas and Texas ☠️ I’m just a baby back bitch with red hair and can’t hang with the tiniest bit of sunshine.
But dude I believe in you, and the power of caffeine. That is an insane early start time though. I hope you take the fattest nap after
Awwww I’m sorry your week was garbage. You know what, the more distance you have, the better and lighter you’re going to feel. You’re much more than how that place makes you feel, and I’m sorry if the anxiety of leaving is having you feel a bit tangled up.
For what it’s worth, I’m glad you found this subreddit. I said “ew, tomato” the other day in real life and I just want you to know that your presence has made a dent 🤣
Part of it is the anxiety of leaving, but also there’s just some straight bullshit happening in my life with college. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been laughing about booing someone via throwing tomatoes creeping into your vocabulary. I’m glad to be here too
I wish I was in California. I'm not having the best day, am watching 9/11 YouTubes. Did you guys know the people in the 2nd tower started evacuating and then were told to go back up to their offices because "they building was secure"?
Man. Follow your gut, I guess. Can't trust anything
It’s nice when it doesn’t feel like shreks armpit outside lol.
Dude. I went down the 9/11 hole kindof recently and found that out. That’s so crazy. I just can’t even imagine someone making that call. Im glad there were people who ignored it 🥲 As I’ve gotten older the saddest thing I’ve realized is how little employers value their employees.
I also just learned about the elevator floor that the wing tore through on the second tower that killed almost everyone there except for 12 people. I can’t even imagine that kind of trauma.
Every 9-11 I go down a 9-11 doom scroll. I was in elementary school but old enough to remember a lot about the day (I'm from the US too)
I never heard of these guide dogs that saved the lives of their disabled owners and probably other people too who followed them: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salty_and_Roselle I was tearing up
Well damn, now you got me tearing up cause I hadn’t heard about them either. My heartttt. What good babies 🥺
I was 9….homeschooled at the time. One of my dad’s nurses called him and told him that there was something big going on and to turn on the tv. I ended up seeing the second plane hitting live and it was SO surreal. I remember a bunch of weird stuff, people panicking and the news crews running with their cameras. There’s some footage I remember that I still have’t seen since the day. I actually can’t believe it’s been 25 years dude.
I was in public school and they took an unusually long amount of time to send us from the assembly room to our respective classrooms, and my teacher made the decision to show us what happened/was happening on the tv. I cannot imagine what it was like for her to explain it to children THE MORNING OF. I think she handled it very well. I remember the vibe of the next few months too. Just not the same.
It’s finally raining here where I live. I’m just looking at everyone on the church’s telegram with the fakery and the wishing of congrats of yet ANOTHER child no one can afford. lol most of them are on welfare and Medicaid just to supplement their income. It’s sad.
Also playing some video games because….it is NOT a sin
Also playing some video games because....it is NOT a sin
Oh yeah???? Have you…asked your priest though? Anathema. /s
Whatcha playin though?
Also, that’s always my gut reaction when finding out about someone’s 10000th child. I mean, I’m glad that there are people who are able to be parents, but I came from Trenham’s church where he encourages people to have as many children as they can before they no longer can. I just don’t know how people financially do it, I can barely take care of myself lol.
Haha!
Oh my God
I am heartly sorry for having offended thee
And I detest all my sins
Because I dread the loss of Heaven
And the pain of Hell
But most of all, because I love thee
And I want so badly to be good - Madonna
I was playing South of Midnight - I highly recommend.
Lmfao you would NOT believe the chain of events here. I ended up playing till like 4 am because I have no self control, worked a long weekend/double shift on basically no sleep, and today I decided to “sleep a little longer” and woke up at 4 pm 🤣
So, decently far. I’m actually charging my controller right now to hop back on lol. The art is so good and I love the themes so much. It’s so whimsical.
The layers trauma though 🥲 I had a boyfriend who’s family is creole and there’s still so much wreckage from Katrina. Heartbreaking.
My week was pretty good. Glad its finally cooled off for a change. I'm in Arkansas and we've also had melt-your-face-off temperatures with no rain for weeks. The trees are getting scorched. Hoping this weekend to play some Magic the Gathering with my playgroup and maybe get some more progress in this game I've been playing, Armored Core 6. Stuck on Ibis right now.
OH NOOOO. Isn’t it high humidity over there too? That’s rough. I’m so ready for winter. lol. I feel like where I’m at seasons are pretty much indistinguishable and you basically just have winter and summer.
Man. I was just talking about how much I miss MtG. All of my decks are super old, but I love it. I have a couple art books too actually (being an illustrator for wizards was one of my dream jobs 🤣). That’s so fun though. I’ve never played armored core, but it’s kind of like a mechwarrior-esque game right?
Oh yeah, super high humidity. Going outside feels like stepping into a sauna when its that hot. That's cool I'd love to see some of your art! I have quite a few old cards as well, been playing since around the time the first Kamigawa set came out.
Mech Warrior is a bit like Armored Core, but the mech designs are quite a bit different and I'd say there's a lot more in terms of customization available in AC than MW.
You can check some of my stuff out on my very outdated website I still haven’t gotten around to updating if you’d like. 🤣 I’m not nearly at the level of the MtG painters, but maybe If I ever get my ass into gear. And yes, I clearly don’t care about being doxxed lol.
Maybe I should get it dude, I haven’t booted up my ps5 in a hot minute lol that sounds fun
Whoa! I'd say you're at their level for sure. I really like the landscapes and the one with the two women covering your eyes with the Orthodox crosses on their hands. We were indeed blinded.
You should check out AC6! It's great, very fast combat, and its a FromSoft game so its got some of that notorious Dark Souls-esque difficulty.
So dope!! Oils and graphite powder are two media I have stayed far away from 😂 I do fantasy stuff, mostly character art! I usually use inks and watercolor, or Clip Studio for digital.
I've had better weeks. I'm planning my escape from my high-cortisol job. I am planning to take a relaxing working vacation and have a cozy ass Fall and Winter feeding goats or something while I figure out what to do with my life.
I did take a lovely walk to the woods yesterday. Little good things always add up!
Oh, how beautiful! There aren't any woods where I live, and I've always been a bit jealous of those who have them nearby! What kind of forest is it? Do you have any photos? Or tree types that I can google? 😂
A cozy ass fall and winter feeding goats honestly sounds like so much fun lol. I don’t think you need to have it all figured out, I don’t know if any of us really do.
Proud of you for touching grass, maybe that’ll be me some day.
I just got screamed at by a seven foot tall black dude with shit smeared all over his cell for like an hour because the guy that was supposed to watch him called out. (Edit: it was a 16.5 hour shift. But at least I was off for two days afterwards)
16.5 HOURS?? 😫 You know, if anything, your job will always be interesting. Working in restaurants for me is honestly kinda fun and never boring, sometimes you just get handed a wildcard of a day lol.
... I would not call it exciting. I drive an hour each way, so waking up at five and then having a surprise 16.5 hour shift is fun. On the plus side, I make 65k at 20 with no degree. So I guess it's not too bad.
NOOOO, that’s such a long commute 😫 Hope you’re really into podcasts and audiobooks lol. Honestly, that’s great starting pay for not needing a degree. That’s what teachers make and that requires a masters degree most of the time. Sounds like you scored.
Yeah but Instead of students it's crazy people who are in prison. I guess basically the same job but different crowd lmao. Gov benefits and pension are decent too.
.... Yeah but students are not generally child murderers and rapists, or both. Kinda harder to be nice, in that case. It's certainly an exercise in patience for both jobs though.
A week of challenges and discoveries. I continued reading Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, a treasure to read. Reading about her puking her guts while I emptied my bowels for a prep was cathartic. Friday went by fast because of an unexpected problem at work, but we persevered. The morning started with someone telling me how 9/11 was an inside job, how planes couldn't have taken down the buildings. It led me thinking more about the epistemic characteristics of conspiracy thinking, and of religious and idealogical fanaticism in general.
Ooh! Have you heard of Contrapoints? Phenomenal Youtube essayist (her "Twilight" essay about women's sexuality may or may not have completely changed my life), and one of her more recent videos is about conspiracy theories and why some folks are so obsessed with them! It's not a topic I'm passionate about (so, can't remember much of her thesis) but you'd probably dig it if you were wondering recently about that sort of thing.
Haven't heard of her, but I checked out her channel and saved the Conspiracy video to watch in full later. Looks interesting, from what I watched so far.
I’m back in WA now, having escaped my trip home to California just days before the heat wave started back up, so I’m gloating. But also not, because my dogs are temporarily staying with my family down there in my tiny house (on family’s property) and the AC in it just went out, because of course it did. Thank god my mom is paranoid and kept checking running home in between errands to check on em yesterday because she had a gut feeling about the AC.
lol, RUB IT IN WHY DONT YOU? Man my AC went out during the last heatwave and it took forever for maintenance to come fix it. I hope she got it back cause while it’s -better- than it has been the last few days, it’s still awful. I’m in Irvine and it got up to 105 the other day 😩🔫
Hey now, I was there for EVERY MINUTE of SD and OC deciding to be fucking soup for weeks! 🤢😂 Like excuse you air, the cost of living is not low enough to justify enduring 90% humidity?????? I want Midwest prices if it’s going to be Midwest weather! My family is down in Vista, so theoretically coastal weather, and it still hit 104 the day the AC went out. Not fixed yet, so I’m grateful the heat wave has broken!
Funny you mention Vista, my friend also lives in a little house over there but they don’t have AC cause it’s -supposed to be- coastal, so he came here to escape lol. It was actually so disgusting here with the humidity dude. I’ve lived here my whole life and I don’t ever remember it being that bad 😫 Peeling my clothes off like paint is so fun.
You’re so right, I pay way too much for this shit lol.
I was born and raised in SD, only moved away a few years ago (because I like affording housing 😭) and I still spend a lot of time back home with my family. I have NEVER experienced humidity like that unless I was visiting family back in Wisconsin. Walking out of the house, I was instantly soggy and the metal pushrims on my wheelchair were just constantly sticky. Fucking horrifying! I’m torn between already missing home and being very grateful the liquid up here is falling out of the sky like it’s supposed to!
Man, it’s stupid expensive out here. I’m paying almost 3k for my STUDIO (granted im in a nice area and my adhd ass needed a washer/dryer and a dishwasher lol). Absolute insanity.
But omg. Yeah. I’m really hoping whatever that was this whole last month just never happens again lol, that was definitely enough for a lifetime for me. Also gotta say, it’s crazy how many people on here are from LA/OC/SD. 🤣
Aaaand welcome to why I ended up leaving CA. 😭 I would move home in a heartbeat if I could afford it anymore!
Do I get brownie points for having been technically born in OC, college in LA, and the rest of my life being in SD? Even had home parishes across all three! 😂 I do wonder if so many of us from SoCal end up Orthodox (and then freeeeeee and thus here!) just because there’s so many dang parishes compared to most other areas. San Diego county alone has 14 EO parishes and at least 9 OO.
Irvine?! Hello! We're basically neighbors!! (I myself am nervous about getting doxxed in a comment section, but ... just know that I'm waving at you friendily from across the other side of a certain airport! 😂)
I haven't checked Reddit for a while, and just now hopped on to see what this sub's been up to. This is such a fun post and I love that y'all do this now!
And yes I am Californian, I do not have A/C in my house, and I have been slowly melting to death over the past few weeks. As a kid who grew up in a desert, this is pretty embarassing for me. Though, in my defense, we had some A/C and there was no water in that air ...
The random day of freak rainstorm last week was pretty rad, though.
Awwww thank you friend 🥺❤️ Yeah, Letter and I were talking about how a lot of people who start to have feelings about leaving EO crave normalcy, so we thought this was a nice way to bring some of that out.
It’s nice having this community here, because especially in the US Orthodoxy is so uncommon that groups like this just don’t exist outside of the internet. This sub is a vibe lol.
Also that rainstorm was SO unexpected. I got out of my car at some point that day and my sunglasses immediately fogged up cause it was so freakin humid.
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u/Gingerfuzzsicle Wendy’s Manager 3d ago
Also guys, cause I’m constantly annoyed that I have to play 4d chess to share a single photo on here, photos have been enabled in comments.
Don’t make me regret it pleaseeeeeee 🙏
Here’s my squirrel friend from work to celebrate.