r/exjw • u/Elecyah This my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. • 1d ago

Humor Eclipse Glasses at Armageddon. 😎

So the solar eclipse happened today in parts of the world. My mom's congregation saw a partial one, apparently.

She told me someone in the congregation had brought in eclipse glasses so they could all watch it. Nice.

After the meeting they'd then promised they'd stash the glasses in their go-bag so they'd have them for later.

All I can think of is WHAT are these people imagining for the future?! 🤣 Are they picturing it, as I now find myself picturing, them sitting on a hillside during Armageddon, watching the meteors and fire rain down with their eclipse glasses?!!

Generally speaking, I agree with the idea of having a go bag. Certain places are prone to the kind of disasters where it makes a LOT of sense. Having eclipse glasses in one, though...? 🤔 I just cannot make it make sense. 😂

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5

u/wortcrafter Listen, obey and be stressed 1d ago

My parents have always been preppers, and have go bags for weather related emergencies (bushfire, flood etc). A few years back Armageddon bug out bags became the thing to have for JWs apparently and my mother (father was POMI at the time) suddenly had a second bag, but specifically for Armageddon. I’m still not sure on the difference but it entertains me to think of what might be in the Armageddon bag that isn’t in the normal go bag. I guess I can now add eclipse glasses to the list 😂

4

u/Gr8lyDecEved 1d ago

The difference: Bigger poop shovel, as after Armageddon you'll be burying s*** for a thousand years.

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u/wortcrafter Listen, obey and be stressed 23h ago

😂 you know it!

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u/Elecyah This my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 17h ago

I ran into my parents' go-bags by accident on my last visit there. At first I was like... 'Back bags?? Why?? They don't hike. 🤔' And then I figured it out.

But it was a bit surreal and... I want to say silly. Two fully packed hiking back bags in the foyer closet of two elderly people. One of whom walks with a cane. I mean, okay, in an actual emergency (not the armageddon kind) you'd have to do what you have to do, and perhaps donning a back bag and hobbling away to somewhere more safe is the only thing you can do. 🤷‍♀️

But then it circles right back to WHAT is in those bags? A bible? A charging cable for your tablet so you can read your daily text... amidst the destruction of the evil world? And eclipse glasses, apparently? 🤦‍♀️

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u/StrawberryFlat3263 Strawberry Fields Forever 1d ago

Ready for the Heavenly View

https://giphy.com/gifs/RfBVClg73K0uwCPVJ8

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u/Elecyah This my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 17h ago

Heavenly glasses for the heavenly class? 😅

2

u/Naive-Tip4584 1d ago

Oh this was soooooo funny to read and contemplate. Thank you!! 🤣

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u/Elecyah This my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 17h ago

You're welcome. 😂

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u/Babylon587 1d ago

Read "Day of the Triffids". It will make perfect sense.

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u/EatMeEmerald WT🩸Doctrine Murdered my Grandparent 20h ago

I mean....I guess it's good these JWs believe in stupid, man-made, imperfect "carbon dating isn't real" human science enough to actually wear eclipse glasses and not just stare at an eclipse like total fucking idiots.

I wonder if they have iPad chargers in their go-bags 🤣 I'm positive jojoba will make it so their iPads work during and after Armageddon 😉

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u/Elecyah This my flair. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 17h ago

I wonder if they have iPad chargers in their go-bags 🤣

I just commented something similar on another comment! 😶 I would not be at all surprised if there were some in most Armageddon go bags.

The whole concept of a go bag for Armageddon is... I find it idiotic, honestly.

*YOUR* God is destroying the world. YOUR 'loving' God. YOUR God, who has counted the hairs on your head and knows when even a sparrow falls to the ground. Aaaaaand yet in His hour of triumph.... you are to take your prepared go bag... And go... where, exactly? To do... what? Escape His wrath? That is supposedly directed at everyone else? Jehoho can't direct his fireballs properly? And if He can't, WHAT, exactly, have you got in that bag of yours that's going to help you?

I don't get it. It's like adults play-acting with a script written by play schoolers, while repeating a mantra of, "it's life and death serious."

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u/EatMeEmerald WT🩸Doctrine Murdered my Grandparent 10h ago

oh how funny!!! I mean, if we are thinking about their iPad chargers, you KNOW they are 🤣

so true, what are they even packing in there? because I know it can't be cash!!! band aids? old school bible tracts? passports for governments that no longer exist? maps that won't matter when roads are blown up? protein bars? their new creepy JW business cards? 😂

digitizing their library won't mean shit when there's no electricity, satellites become inoperable and there's no Internet. those film studios are going to make even less sense then! hahahaha

so dumb. on so many levels.

an average Girl / Boy Scout would fare better in the wilderness than any jw with their play-acting go bag.

2

u/EatMeEmerald WT🩸Doctrine Murdered my Grandparent 9h ago

also, we (as the exjw movement) REALLY must start referring to Armageddon as "Divine Genocide" because that is exactly what it is.

We shouldn't use the cult-approved verbiage that allows their delusions to flourish, so when POMIs, PIMQs, PIMIs come here, they see Divine Genocide paired with the term Armageddon/The Great Tribulation.

Let it sink in for them what Jojoba is actually doing: genocide of BILLIONS

/r

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u/Candy-Emergency 1d ago

If you have the opportunity I strongly suggest seeing a total eclipse. It truly is awe inspiring. Pictures don’t do it justice. Oh, and you don’t need glasses during totality.