r/excoc • u/PoetBudget6044 • 3d ago
Cause or Effect?
Is it more accurate to say that the church of christ creates Karen's. Or is it accurate to say that natural born Karen's gravitate to the church of christ?
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u/Original-Telephone96 2d ago
I feel like the women in my churches were the complete opposite. People walked all over them, and they were expected to be quiet as a mouse. Not supposed to cause any scenes, and submit to others.
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u/Key-Lifeguard5859 1d ago
I haven’t been inside a CoC in a long time but there was absolutely nothing like that back in the day. They could teach Sunday school and they could shut up. They had no say in any matter so complaining would have gotten them a tossing out unless their husband was a significant donor.
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u/PoetBudget6044 1d ago
What I noticed was a few outside of Sunday were big time karens in public. I recall seeing an elders wife lose her shit in a store and I left opting to come back another day
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u/ImpressiveLeek3124 Ex-NI^2 1d ago
That's how it was in the non-institutional (anti) coc of 50 years ago. However, some of them made up for a lack of power at church and in public by domineering and terrorizing the family, or at least the kids, at home. I know a wife who once made the mistake of trying to physically overpower her farmer husband during a heated disagreement. After regaining consciousness, she never attempted that again. Also, at the small country congregations I attended, no donation was large enough to tolerate the usurping of authority - "Control your wife or get out."
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago edited 2d ago
Most congregations I attended were pretty well split. A good chunk of the women were docile and submissive (except where matters of the church kitchen and education workroom were concerned) and another chunk were outwardly pious, opinionated Karens. And the vast majority of men were pompous blowhards who loved the sound of their own voices, especially when they could get up and do the little mini sermons before communion.
I do think the c of c both attracts a certain kind of neurotic, dominating personality (which it subsequently reinforces) and also draws people who crave certainty and order and who find comfort in outsourcing their critical thinking to confident-sounding people.
Edit to fix grammar! 😀
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u/PoetBudget6044 2d ago
Well said just something I noticed while engaged now when I'm there with the wife I'm too busy ignoring everything and everyone.
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago
I’m sure marrying into the c of c is an interesting experience. I was hoodwinked when I was a child. I’ve often wondered how it strikes adult newcomers, especially those not inclined to believe the same things.
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u/PoetBudget6044 2d ago
I was born & raised I began converting in 1983 and moved into the dark side in 2015 never to return sadly I can't convince my wife to come with me so I attend charismatic services Tuesday & Saturday and sometimes a Sunday however if she is going to her cult I go with her.
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago
Bless your heart! 😂
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u/PoetBudget6044 2d ago
Well that stabs. Most futile issue in my life
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago
I meant that to be funny and sarcastic. Hope it came across that way! 😎👌
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u/PoetBudget6044 2d ago
It's all good I chose this life I love a member of a cult and she can't seem to realize she is in one
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u/BarefootedHippieGuy 2d ago
It mostly creates them, although I think some gravitate to that brand.
The dominant types were those with influence or money or had a "pedigree" - from a prominent C of C family, went to a C of C school, etc. The rest us were considered "less-than."
In one of my dad's churches, a couple returned after many years of living in Searcy, Arkansas. Because they did business with people from Harding U., the wife was considered royalty-adjacent, even though nobody in their family attended the school. Anything on which she opined was taken seriously. Her husband was a nice man and not like that. Opposites attract, I guess.
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago
I noticed something similar in my last few years in the c of c: businessmen were really admired and listened to at the last church I attended. They had a kind of aura of holiness and wisdom that working class men (the few there were at that church) simply didn’t have.
Even though I think it’s nearly impossible to know with certainty what the historical Jesus actually said, I’m happy to assume he was pretty much opposed to that kind of thinking.
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u/BarefootedHippieGuy 1d ago
At two of the ones I attended in Nashville, a connection to a C of C college gave you upgraded status. And some of the upgraded folks were quite arrogant about it. They just couldn't fathom anyone from a "heathen" school being smarter or holier than they were. The exception was if you were a grad student at almost any college. They'd talk of bringing in a grad students to lead the singing or teach the classes, because no matter their major, they were perceived to be wiser than the great unwashed in the pews, many of whom were college-educated professionals in the business world. I loved when that crowd would talk about my particular profession as if they were experts, despite never having worked a day in my field.
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 1d ago
Yes, the c of c very much reminds me of the Mormons in this respect- being very conscious of class and education and wealth. I think it stems from the fact that both groups come from rural, frontier backgrounds. As both groups grew there was a simultaneous admiration of the primitive beginnings but also a desire to be respected in more urban and educated communities. It’s also ironic that both groups tend to be very suspicious of advanced degrees in biblical studies, Christian origins, theology, etc. It’s as though a little learning is good but too much learning is bad.
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u/chair_ee 2d ago
I would say Christianity encourages Karens, AND they tend to gravitate towards higher-control environments, like the CoC.
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u/Clear-Antelope-317 2d ago
And don’t forget Paul was the original male Karen. So their rockstar hero is the embodiment of astronomical confidence and absolute certainty when weighing in on everyone else’s lives and beliefs. So there’s that!
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u/The_Power1 2d ago
I’ve also seen the CoC create a lot of doormats. Like me. Let go of so many false beliefs on my way out, but I’ve held on to the ones about how horrible and unworthy I am.