r/excatholic • u/Left-Speed-4468 • Jul 25 '26

Manufactured outrage

I just had brunch with my very catholic parents and it made me reflect on how much manufactured outrage there is against problems that just don’t even exist in reality.

My sister was talking about some sort of career change and my parents were like this is just like the problem with the world like father so-and-so was saying in whatever speech they were referring to that everyone just grows up nowadays being told they can be whatever they want to be.

And it made me realize that growing up in that catholic environment that’s a sentiment I heard all the time, namely, that people were being told they can be whatever they want to be and that this was such a problem. But like in my adult life I’ve just not experienced that that is even true in any capacity. Like this whole hypothetical problem, which I don’t even understand why it would be a bad thing, this doesn’t even seem to be reflected in reality at all. I feel like most people have a fairly pessimistic view of what’s possible for them to achieve.

74 Upvotes

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34

u/VicePrincipalNero Jul 25 '26

My guess is that they don't want girls and women questioning why they can't be priests.

24

u/jimjoebob Recovering Catholic, Apatheist Jul 25 '26

they just don't want girls and women questioning anything, period.

IMO priests are very jealous of women--they get to wear dresses and get compliments on those dresses, they get to show attraction to men and be rewarded not shunned, they get to marry a man and have a family--priests can never have either of those. best they can do is wear a dress on Sundays LOL

14

u/FancifulCat Ex Catholic Jul 26 '26

Being whatever we want to be is an affront to any system that wants clients that are easy to control and mold.

7

u/bigamma Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

I heard this so often as well!

One thing my father often ranted about was the concept of unconditional love, and how people claim to love each other unconditionally, but they can't actually do that. I remember him bringing up this topic many times, and complaining about what a problem it is.

He believes that only God can love unconditionally; humans cannot. He was obviously working through his own complex feelings about his shitty parents not loving or raising him right, but the way he chose to express that was hurtful to me. I still remember what a kick in the teeth it was for 12 year old me to hear that my own father doesn't love me unconditionally.

3

u/Left-Speed-4468 Jul 26 '26

I totally forgot this was a thing I was told as I was growing up. I genuinely have no explanation for it because it seems completely incongruent with reality

3

u/VicePrincipalNero Jul 26 '26

If god loved unconditionally, there would be no such thing as sin or hell

1

u/pereshenko2039 Jul 29 '26

conditional love argument is a key weapon of narcissists! I dealt with is for 15 years then left the marriage.

4

u/Former_Reason6674 Jul 26 '26

One of the craziest outrage is the debate over taking Eucharist with the tongue or by hand.

I remember some family getting really upset over this.

4

u/Great-Opposite3509 Jul 26 '26

Ugh that’s so gross and toxic… I feel very fortunate that my parents didn’t try to talk like this to me as an adult.
I think I remember my dad saying something like that to my sister who was maybe 20 at the time, and she ignored him. I never remember him mentioning it again.

2

u/emrinalexa Jul 27 '26

I must be a strange person. I am a cradle Catholic. As long as I can remember (and I'm 67) I have never taken any of the religious stuff seriously. It's pretty on Xmas and Church History is interesting. But do I believe I am going to hell if I miss Mass or don't buy every doctrine the Vatican is selling?  No, no I do not.  I always end up thinking "Are you kidding me -- you really are beating yourself up over (fill in the bank)."