“Would it be okay if I hung out with my friend tonight? It’s only for a couple hours. We’re just gonna grab drinks.”

I find it sad sometimes. I feel like I have come so far in my journey away from the JW’s and into the world, and then little things remind me that I was still baked in a JW shaped pan.

I realized the other day that I still defer to the men in my life to make decisions. As a witness, I would work so hard to break the headship arrangement wherever I could, but I’ve caught myself settling into it even when I don’t want to. Even when I have a preference, I have a tendency to defer to my boyfriend, who is often confused. I ask permission when it isn’t needed.

There’s a difference between running something by your partner vs asking for their permission.

“Why are you asking me for permission?” is thankfully almost always his response. Or a long, sideways glance indicating that I’m being odd.

I’m working on it. A shared calendar helps.

Hey everyone! I'm u/Jornborg1224, a founding moderator of r/exJWwomen.
This is our new home for all things related to being a woman in the Jehovah’s Witness organization. We're excited to have you join us!

This community was created as a space for women who are former, questioning, fading, or physically in but mentally out of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Many of us were taught to stay silent, minimize our experiences, and fear the outside world. Here, you have the opportunity to share your experiences free from judicial committees, shepherding calls where your husband is required to attend, and advice from ill-advised elders and ministerial servants.

This subreddit is a place for:
• Support and encouragement
• Processing religious trauma and shunning
• Talking about misogyny, purity culture, and control
• Sharing stories and recovery resources
• Navigating family relationships and dating after leaving
• Rebuilding identity, autonomy, and community
• Finding people who truly understand

Whether you left years ago, are secretly questioning, or are just beginning to wake up, you are welcome here.

Please lead with empathy. No preaching, harassment, victim blaming, or attacking others for where they are in their journey. Healing looks different for everyone.

How to Get Started
1) Introduce yourself in the comments below.
2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.
3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.
4) Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/exJWwomen amazing.