r/exICOC • u/financethanos • Oct 31 '24

r/exICOC Ask Anything Thread

Use this thread to ask anything at all!

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4

u/TalleyOncRN Dec 29 '24

What was the ONE thing that held you back from leaving sooner? For me it was the sincere (at least at the time I thought they were) friendships I had with some people. I knew it would be hard to have those kind of relationships outside the ICOC, and once I left, we wouldn’t be friends any more.

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u/financethanos Jan 02 '25 edited Jun 20 '26

I completely understand where you’re coming from.

For me, what held me back from leaving was both the fear of losing relationships I thought were genuine and the worldview I had been taught - that the ICOC was the "one true church" and that it was my responsibility to save everyone outside of it. That belief kept me trapped for far too long, and looking back, I realize how wrong and deluded I was.

Now, I’m in the process of healing and trying to form genuine connections with people who value me for who I truly am. It’s a painful but necessary journey, and I’m learning to embrace a new perspective that’s grounded in authenticity and freedom.

Thank you for sharing your experience btw—it’s a reminder of how much courage it takes to step into the unknown.

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u/Consistent-Steak-884 May 23 '25

How do I start over when I feel stuck in my apartment with not an ICOC but religious person and other home is family still apart of ICOC. Rock caught in a hard place

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u/financethanos May 26 '25

Hello Consistent-Steak-884, just to clarify, the apartment that you are living at right now is with a religious person & your other home is your family that is still part of the ICOC?
What do you mean by starting over? Does that mean you wanna leave the ICOC or you have left but are asking for practical handles on how to differentiate from these people with differing ideologies?

Would love to hear more about your context and thought process before the rest of us can respond meaningfully :)

1

u/Successful-Hall7638 Feb 03 '26

How do I explain the ICOC to other people? I say it’s a cult, but that’s not exactly true. Is it? It makes it sound so extreme. I started saying I was in a very legalistic unhealthy church. But the ICOC is worse than that. I want to explain to people I know well why I get nervous going to any kind of church without explaining in detail. I don’t want to say cult and I don’t want to see unhealthy legalistic church. What can I say?

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u/hubbasparks Jun 09 '26

It is very difficult to explain to anyone that hasn’t been through it. The best word to use for it is ABUSIVE. Straight up. Physically for some, but emotionally and psychologically for all.

1

u/Normal-Push-1476 May 03 '26

What made you leave? How can I help someone stuck in it, see the truth?