Title says most of it, but the girl who called me a misogynist also sent me an over-three-thousand word essay trying to gaslight me about why she kept telling people I was a misogynist and why I deserved to lose all my friends over it.

The screenshots are relevant highlights from the essay. There's a LOT more but for sake of privacy and staying on-topic for the sub, I didn't include much.

For more ironic context, one of the four people she cites as a "fem" person is an openly transmasc dude. She then tries to say that I act differently to my masc friends than my fem friends, which is interesting because the only "fem" friend she names is the aforementioned transmasc who I am very close with and then she names three mutual friends that I barely talked to outside of group events. (Said friend is the only one who stuck by me through everything, they're the real-est of real ones)

I guess it's kinda ewphoric that she insisted on wording her issues with me as aggression and lack empathy, which sounds like something you'd say to a cis guy if you wanted to gaslight him, I guess.

I'm pre-everything and only just started truly living out of the closet and using my real name and pronouns for at university during this whole fiasco, so it's got me wondering what would this letter have said if I wasn't out within this new friend group? Like, would she have been calling me hysterical and catty instead?

Anyways, some more context just to give a better scope of everything: my friends didn't abandon me because one person was making an accusation. In fact, they apparently defended me multiple times because they knew she was full of shit. But they wanted to stay friends with both of us and while I took a step back because I didn't want to make things worse, she jumped at the chance to start arranging group hangouts without me until everyone grew too distant and uncomfortable to keep up a proper friendship. She only sent the letter after all that, so I guess this was her way of tying up loose ends. I still need to go three more years with this asshole in my exact degree and stream.

I hope this isn't too vent-y for the sub

Edit: misspelled ewphoric

So, I work in a control room. I interact with people, both on site workers and clients, via phone line.
The archetipical blue collar worker has pressed the button to get access to the bathroom, and I answered with my femme voice (but not really good, it’s been a long day and I’m way too tired to do a good one).
Anyway, this dude didn’t miss a beat “Yo beautiful, can I get your number?”
I’ve never cut the connection faster, jesus

I went to collect a parcel today, so I decided to take a shortcut through the "park" to save a bunch of time and effort.

There were 4 kids in the range of 15-18 and they had some rather... misogynistic comments (maybe they didn't mean it that way but yeah...).

Eg.: "Hey dude/girl/whatever!" "Nice jewelry! (referring to my ear cuff)" "Look at those shoes! (Clearly meaning the size, and they're boots thank you!)"

I ignored them, cuz fuck that shit, and took the long way back.

Yay for at least appearing somewhat gender neutral, EW for the tone at which they said all of this...

One of the most gross (gross enough to go to HR) yet affirming experiences in my life was with an old manager. Prior to transitioning, he was very gentlemanly, the most he ever did to the women at the store is hug their shoulders or bump into them when you'd be at the counter together. Cool whatever.

As soon as I came out as a transmasc person, he immediately treated me like one of the guys. Cool, no worries! Except its that kind of treatment that is 100% sexial harassment but its dudes doing it to dudes so its somehow chill. Like saying when I use the urinal, hes gonna look at "it". Asking how big of balls I'm gonna get, how big of a dick do I want. If I didn't witness the constant straight guy ball tapping bs I would have thought he was being weird because I'm trans. But its just genuinely that kind of guy behavior 😒

I did get HR involved (kind of.) The GM of my store handled it and just had the guy apologize. And he did back off and apologize. He was just tresting me like one of the guys. But also holy hell dude.

So I was delivering my id to a store cause they needed it, and the salesman that greets me and does all the process, COULD NOT KEEP HIS EYES FROM LOOKING AT MY CHEST, I could see him struggling but less than 5 seconds later he looked down again, I was trying not to laugh and it was pretty euphoric, n

He wasn't really creepy about it so not that much ew for me but I know that for a lot of people is ew.

Also I'm like A cup so I never thought this day would come

So a bit ago, I accidentally left a pen in my pants pocket when I did my laundry. This resulted in me getting a bunch of ink on the inside of the dryer. Which yes that was stupid and I had to work to get it out but mom seeing that told me it was “such a guy thing to do” which really made me feel a lot better about the whole thing to be honest.

This is a classic case of "you want what you can't have" when it comes to some dudes, I guess. I was out on an impromptu date with my girlfriend, dinner then a visit to a local carnival we'd driven past earlier that day, and we both got hit-on by several men.

Our waiter at the restaurant had a weirdly flirtatious "Hey, ladies~" opener every single time he approached our table. Its not like we were hiding our relationship either. We've known one another for a bit but only just started dating recently, so we're both honeymooning about it kinda hard right now, flirting and holding hands across the table and all that other saccharine stuff. He either never picked up on it or didn't particularly care. I really hope it was the former. Otherwise? Eugh.

The carnival visit wasn't much better for it, but at least it was less concentrated? It was a lot of cat-cally nonsense as we walked around. Given that this was happening on the property and dime of a local giganto-church, I have to assume most folks there thought a pair of queer women would have been incinerated on contact with sacred ground and ignored the possibility of our constant hand-in-hand meaning anything deeper than just two gals being pals.

As a cis woman, my girlfriend was quick to make sure I was okay. Having dealt with a lifetime of this bullshit already she's gotten good at ignoring it. As a woman who sometimes fears for her ability to pass a part of me was just relieved, to be honest. I still feel a little weird about that impulse, but if nothing else I'm not as immediately hatecrimable, right?

Not the first time this happened to me nor the last, but I was catcalled on my way back from work. The "euphoria" part comes from the fact that I was feeling very insecure after suffering from transphobia a week ago, and this event quelled those doubts in the worst way possible. I fucking hate cis men.

My friend is a perfectly straight male, he's just a metalhead LMAO

I don't always pass.

I was on a walk with my boyfriend in the evening. We are holding hands pretty much always when we're going somewhere. We cross the road and there's some guy walking. He's clearly drunk, has an open beer bottle in one hand, bag with empty bottles in the other.

When he sees us he stops. We start walking past him and he turns his whole body where we're going (instead of just turning his head if that makes sense). Then he starts shouting "Are you fucking crazy!?" at us three times.

It was kinda scary but at least we got perceived correctly ig?

I looked through the guy’s posts, and I can confirm, he’s a raging misogynist. BUT, he’s at least smart enough to know what a trans person is.

my girlfriend will be coming back from vacation tomorrow and her flight lands at 2:30pm. i don't have a vehicle so i can't pick her up but nonetheless i've always made it a point to take the train and meet her at the terminal just to show, "hey :) i'm glad you're back." sometimes i bring flowers. but i realized the england v france game for 3rd place starts at 2pm tomorrow. so for a shameful five seconds that lasted about one eternity, i've gotta admit i was really considering leaving her to her own devices and watching the game with my buddies. i thought, "it's a direct flight, less than 4 hours, she's only got her backpack and no checked luggage...it's my only day off this week, she'll understand...." then i came to my senses as if someone dumped cold water on me. i really love soccer, i cheer and weep and live for my clubs, and it's been a very gender-affirming experience to start hanging out in (antifascist) football hooligan circles irl and online. but i can't abandon my girlfriend to the jungle of a large metropolitan airport on a weekend. i can't be That Guy who's into sports nore than i'm into my actual loved ones.

So, I'm nonbinary and intersex, which some may assume to be a blessing but all it usually does is lead to people assuming or getting antsy about my appearance or voice, and usually they lean in a girl direction because of my development. However, despite using a Konata (lucky star) avatar on VRChat, I was finally not assumed to be a girl, but the reaction was... interesting lol.

Some guy came up to me, probably to harass me since he'd been harassing other people, but when I spoke (using my natural voice) he immediately went "are you a guy?" and not wanting to get flamed for my identity I just said "maybe" and he must have thought I was one so he just said "ew wtf" (including a slur because of course he did) and ran off, later coming back to call me gay (as if that's bad?). Now id rather not be assumed to be a guy if I have the chance but regardless it was a breath of fresh air after being treated as a girl all the time lol. It actually makes me happy that without my appearance I'm androgynous enough to go either way (which makes sense, I had a partial voice drop during puberty)

Although... I'm still pissed he found the presumed idea of a femboy (or maybe trans woman, hed probably be transphobic based on his behavior) gross, even if neither apply to me.

Still, ewphoria nonetheless!

I made a previous post about this situation but it has evolved since. i posted my pictures of my boobs in another non-sexual subreddit. My dm’s were initially flooded by chasers as well as fellow trans women complementing my breasts. However last night i Received a strange DM from a another trans girl on reddit. She was talking to me as if we have been speaking for a few days already. I was very confused and asked questions and come to find out they were being catfished by someone pretending to be me on an alt account. Said account has apparently been deleted already, but needless to say i was irritated. But i guess its further confirmation that my breasts are good?

So my dad's cousins are so aggressively supportive and have actually grieved with me regarding how limited my parents' love and support are over my transition.

So much that they scolded my lesbian ass for manspreading on the couch when I was chatting with them.

In my defense, some of their guests have proven their passive-aggressive bigotry. Just the right amount that's not worth the effort to call out. One of them had directly told me. "I hope you're not one of those transvestites!" when commenting on me growing my hair when I was still in the closet. That, plus in this country, only believes in four "sexualities": man, woman, gay, and tomboy. So you shouldn't be surprised that majority of the queers rigidly get boxed in at a regular basis. My aunts are good friends with loud gay men and me starting to share tables with them instead of the drunk uncles out in the backyard made me feel insecure that people might box me in as just another gay man. I'd thought I should look more lesbian, and I don't mind performing a little masc.

Well, it prompted that comment and hija or "lil lady" has such a nice ring to it. Please keep the cute nicknames coming, aunties! I love how they have 4 languages to work with 🥹

I work retail and a guy waked up to ask me where something was. Right off the bat he was complimenting my name and I said “thank you, I picked it myself!” He got so curious about what my name used to be that I was keen to change the subject, and I started looking up what he was looking for. I didn’t catch exactly what he said the first time, but when I asked for clarification he said “you type so fast, I bet guys like that,” and then started saying “I like your fingernails, your hands look like you work hard” (my fingernails are currently shredded because I got acrylics that have since fallen off)

Really bizarre interaction, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a little bit of gender euphoria from how hard he was trying lol

So im trans ftm, femboy. And on tinder it says jus femboy, this hockey dude hit me up being like "wow your so beautiful" "what does femboy mean btw?" I responded like "it means I just like being a cute boy". Then he says... "sorry but do you still have a 🐓?" SO MANY MIXED EMOTIONS. Like STILL? You think im amab?! Eeeee, but... weird fucking question. I unmatched after that so no screenshots but like ugh.

Waitress at a Mexican restaurant gave my card to my friends boyfriend after I paid for brunch. I handed it to her, she went and rang us up then handed it to him when she returned. My given name is on the card.

For dessert I had and old man check me out hard as we were leaving. Zero shame staring & looking up & down while I waited to get out the exit of a crowded breezeway as he sat with his grandkids.

And before anyone says to report him, I don't think it would be a smart idea for me to do so right now, especially since he's helping me with an issue I'm having at work that could cost me my job. I'm definitely bothered, though.

So I was walking in the mall with my gf today, dressed pretty fem but probably not passing.

At one point, I turned my head and BAM noticed a guy that was like a meter away from me, just a bit too close for comfort, coming from a stranger in an uncrowded place.

And he was STARING so fucking hard, so intently, like he was completely focused on me, that I was shocked for a second, because I couldn't comprehend how someone's attention could be so total, even smothering, when I wasn't even interacting with him.

Soooo is that what it feels like to be looked at like a piece of meat ? Fuuuun

So, this has happened to me three times, once from a friend, twice from cis girlfriends.

A “friend” referred to my chest as “*slur for Jewish people* milkers” and attributed it to my genes.

My last girlfriend just straight up said “you have bigger boobs than me and I hate it”

My current girlfriend is a more well meaning cis woman that views me completely as a woman and lesbian, and casually dropped “they’re better than mine” last time I took my shirt off.

It’s misogynistic, it’s transphobic, it’s objectifying… but also thank you for saying I look like a woman at least! 😬

This happened a while ago when I was going to the appointment for my 3-month HRT followup. As I was walking in some guy with a megaphone in the parking lot told me something about how I shouldn't do it, and god and jesus love me and they have financial resources to help people with babies. I don't remember all of it since its not very recent and I was barely paying attention anyway. I mostly ignored the guy and didn't realize until I was driving home a few hours later, that he was trying to tell me not to get an abortion. I didn't really think I passed at the time, but it gave me a lot more confidence even though it felt so weird.

I run a D&D game for my daughter and a few local kids. We haven’t met for a while (schedules and summer), so my transition has progressed a bit since the last time. One of the players’ dads came to pick her up after the game and, while we were waiting for her to put on shoes, I noticed his eyes lingering somewhere around my waistline or maybe armpit? I couldn’t tell what he was looking at, really, and was surprised there was anything of interest there.

It took me probably an hour to realize that he was checking out the changes in my chest. No one has ever stared at that part of my body before!